Where does responsibility stop at for adult children?

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My daughter is 20 years old and has 2 children (2yrs & 3mnth). They are fathered by the same dad, but she never married him and has lived with us the whole time except for 5 months. He just recently (2 mths ago) started to give some money for food and diapers. She acts as if it is our fault that she isn't working now after the second child. She dosn't pay rent or utilities and has use of a vehicle, and yet, she feels that we are horrible for not watching her kids while she goes someplace to have fun. We have, but I'm not going to every other day or so. I feel it's not my place and that I have done my part. We have a 16 year old son to take care of and she doesn't think it's fair to allow him to go places and have money if he isn't working. your thoughts, PLEASE!!!!