I want to change myself.

If you are aware of yourself and are not wrapped up in your own egotistical world I believe you can always change how you feel or believe. Thats the great thing about meeting new challenges in life and looking for the best solutions instead of just having a closed mind and always believing that you are right and that is it. This has happened to me and I am glad to say that influences in my life have made me change my views in the complete opposite direction to what I would normally believe. Sometimes for the good and other times not so good. However, this is a healthy way to live your life as you are open to what life has to offer you instead of being stale within your own existence. It can be a very uplifting experience and one that will influence future decisions you will make throughout lifes journey. You sound like a very wise and thoughtful person. A really good discussion, not like most of the rubbish posted here. + rating to you!!!