I am 20 lack real job experience, no high school diploma, depressed..and scared

United States
January 7, 2007 4:29am CST
I droped out of high school when i was 17 because of my friend....well at least i though he was....he found out i was gay and ended up telling most of the school....then he started making up stories that i would hit on him and touch him and so on...but it just got to a point where i just couldnt handle it so i dropped out...now live with parents, no job, low selfesteem / lack self confidence, and am constantly thinking about what other people are saying or think of.... I'm just a mess....i need help...i cant live with parent forever. Need to gain some kind of financial stability....i need help...what should i do?....im scared.....:(....im in los angeles by the way.................please no negative comments....:(
11 people like this
41 responses
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
7 Jan 07
Hey Dustyrusty, don't give a damb what other people think or say. Worrying about it until you are so down and out isn't going to change it anyway and chances are very good no one is even thinking about you anymore (out of sight out of mind - Re:School) muchless talking about you. Think about it! My suggestion for you is keep your chin up, construct a plan for yourself to get out of the rutt, stick to it and don't look back. Things will look up. You really need to get your education. Why? It looks impressive on a resume for work contacts. Take correspondence. Here they call it a GED. Or go to a local college that is probably offering the class. You never know, you may meet some nice people to, perhaps even like minded. It could turn your life around. Living with the folks is a downer I know, trust me. Not working is even worse but if you can work towards your education and gain something while you have to be there at the moment, you will at least feel good about the accomplishment rather than worrying day in and day out. In the meamntime, think about what you'd like to be doing for work and fit it into the grand plan. Take more training if necessary. Just go for it. You are still young and have a whole life ahead of you. Wouldn't it be nice to work hard now learning so to be in a better place, finacially in say even 10 years from now? Uh Huh! Craft a plan and go for it.
@medooley (1874)
• United States
7 Jan 07
Dustyrusty - Listen to this poster. This is exactly what you need to in my opinion. Go back to school and get what you need. It is never too late to get what you need as far as an education. Good luck!
2 people like this
@rash219 (808)
• United States
7 Jan 07
i could not have put in a more better way than this person he knows how to tackle ur problem.....hope it works out....try try until you succeed...
2 people like this
@birthlady (5613)
• United States
7 Jan 07
Forget the GED! Go to Santa Monica College, get your high school diploma while you are earning college credits! This way you are doing coursework, you'll feel better about it and what you do is take COLLEGE coursework that applies toward your high school diploma. Don't let anyone tell you it doesn't work that way, because YES it may! I did it!
2 people like this
@hariharbhat (1314)
• India
7 Jan 07
Idle mind is devil's workshop. Never keep yourself idle. Learn from the past. Dont sit repenting. The world is big. You will get work somewhere and someone will find your suitability. You are young. Life is just beginging for you. Be positive.Think and act. Search a job.Go ahead. Believe in God,in whatever form you think right.The easiest way to unburden our load of life is to believe in God and in his supernatural capacities.He will guide you.Take a step, he will take you further in Life. Good Wishes.
3 people like this
@volschenkh (1045)
• South Africa
7 Jan 07
You need to get a plan of action together. Can you finish school part-time? Get you education through the mail, so that you dont have to deal with disciminative action of your peers. You cannot allow your peers to pressure you out of your own future. You have a contribution to make to your country. My advice: Get a workable plan, with realistic goals, and start with it right away. Its a new year and it itsnever too late to finish your education!
3 people like this
• India
7 Jan 07
Hi friend, you don't need to be disheartened and you must keep a little patience. I think you have enough time to gain stability and there is no hurry. I don't what is families financial condition but you definitely live in a country with excellent opportunities. I live in country with very less options considering that you have 5000 more chances than me. You just have to look out for it. Why don't you start a new business of your own. Start with very low capital and less profit and step by step grow out.
@ssh123 (31104)
• India
7 Jan 07
Never be scared of facing life. The more you are scared of life, the less the chances you have to fit in your self. Think positively. Doesnot matter about experience. One can pick it up with enthusiasm in couple of weeks. What is required is positive thinking. Like you clean your body, clean your mind of all the dirt. Start afresh. Pick up some skill. Try and get a job. Later on you can take up something which pays better.
3 people like this
@sam09d (56)
7 Jan 07
Hey don't worry about it, I left school with not much of an education but I started doing college courses over the internet and Adult evening education to educate myself better and it has worked, I have got my Diploma in Graphic Design and have now got a full time job doing something I like, my husband is the same but his job is a multi drop delivery driver which he hates, but part time he is a football coach, coaching for our local big football club on the side, he done his qualifications on the side as well, so why not try and do something like that or what about those jobs where you learn as you work. Pay is not brilliant but at least its something. Don't give up just look at alternative ways.
• United States
7 Jan 07
First off, get your GED. After getting your GED, then find a job, start with part time and try to get into a community college, and take some classes. Whether it be in mechanics, or business, get a better education, you'll regret it later. As far as you so called friend, that was no friend. Don't worry about the past, you still have a bright future ahead of you. Please use it wisely.
2 people like this
@kgwat70 (13396)
• United States
7 Jan 07
I am sorry to hear about your situation. Have you talked to your parents about this? You can always go back to school but maybe go to a different school. I think going back to school would be your best choice so that you can get a job and make money and support yourself. It had to be very difficult to deal with the things that your friend put you through. Obviously he is not a real or true friend for doing that to you. Talk with your parents as I am sure they will do whatever they can to help you.
@glasser3 (354)
• Hibbing, Minnesota
7 Jan 07
hey man dont let people get you down dont listen to them your just as good as anyone else is regardless of what you choose to do behind closed doors or anywhere for that matter. As far as the job thing id attempt to get a GED and then some kind of trade school certificate so that you can get a decently paying job. Its good that your trying to get out of your parents house and out on your own. There might also be some kind of help you could find to build your self esteem back up im not really sure what else to say to you other then just ignore those that put you down and focus on what you want from life and youll eventally find it. i hope this in some way helps you out
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Jan 07
another thing that might help, just go out and find someone who needs help.. they can train you, and you can gain much needed experience. so what if you start out at minimum wage. you have to start somewhere. i have had jobs that ranged in pay anywhere from $5.35 to $13.75 an hour. now i normally don't work for less than 7-8 an hour. but when i am stuck, i take what i can get. minimum wage is better than no income at all. so, go and get your ged, or take some night classes or something, and go and get some sort of job. you can do a whole lot. construction should be good there. it is a large city. or cashier, stocker, something. it is money. you need the money, and the experience.
1 person likes this
@birthlady (5613)
• United States
7 Jan 07
Ok, here's what you do: 1) Enroll in Santa Monica College. For real. No other school. People go to Santa Monica College from all over the place. You don't need a high school diploma to enroll. Anyone over 18 can enroll, so you qualify. You can apply online, or go to campus at 1900 Pico Blvd, Santa Monica, CA 90405 or http://www.smc.edu 2) Apply for financial aid. You might be eligable. There's your $$. 3) Go into mainstream college classes for a vocational certificate, an Associate degree, or university transfer credits. While you're at it, the credits you earn will apply for your high school diploma. GET A DIPLOMA not a GED!!!! 4) Join the Gay Students' Union. Make friends. There's lots of people at SMC to make friends with. I went to SMC. Its a great school. You will be pleased that you are in school, you will get alittle $, you'll make friends, and prepare for your future. By the way, I'm 52 years old, my daughter is your age. I went back to school later in life, and I'm still in school, online now, finishing my bachelor of science in psychology. Let me know how you're doing, I'll check back.
@AskAlly (3627)
• Canada
7 Jan 07
Wow this is some very constructive advise. And how much easier does it get,,,, the entire plan is laid out for you. I've been through the posts, including my own, and this is in my opinion the most positive. If one of my sons had posted this and you replied to them in this manner, I would find a way to hug you :)
1 person likes this
@Mecboy (1051)
• United States
7 Jan 07
Yeah, Take Courses,and try to take school again, No offense try to get a girlfriend, And take school again. Your buddy might see its true you are straight. He might leave you alone. You can go to college soon.! get a job, and get married, live a normal life!
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Jan 07
hey man. let me put it to you this way. stop giving a damn about what other people think. stop being scared of what they might be saying behind your back. just let it roll. i am not gay, but people still talk crap. i don't let it bother me. i just do what i have to do. i am also 20, and have alot of construction experience. what you need to do is get out there, start making a name for yourself, get a job, and get on your feet. if people want to be homophobic, let them. ignore them. i dropped out of school as well, because i was so far behind. i kept skipping and whatnot and didn't want to be a 3rd year freshman. go out, take some ged prep classes, and take your ged. the ged itself is about 65$. i don't know about the classes. but, get your ged, and get out there. see if there is anyone looking for a helper or something. alot of people in construction look for helpers and apprentices. someone they can train. so, go out and start making yourself known to the business world.
1 person likes this
• Canada
7 Jan 07
I found writing to be very helpful, getting through my problems. I'm even thinking of publishing my memoirs, how I overcame a couple of physical challenges etc. Write a book and self publish!!!! http://www.lulu.com for information on publishing. If you can overcome this and write about it, you'll help A LOT OF PEOPLE!!!
1 person likes this
• Canada
7 Jan 07
my advice would be to start off by getting your ged. that way you can atleast say you have a dimploma or the equivalent. Im sorry that your friend did that to you. seems like he was just insecure himself. I think you would have more job options if you started with your ged. it can open more doors for you than you would think. good luck.
1 person likes this
7 Jan 07
I have one thing to tell you... each person has a life to live, you have your life to live,no one can live it for you. So has your the owner of your life... only you know what is the best for you. If people think you are this or that... it doesnt really matter what they think. You need to give a step on your life, Thats the most important thing to you. Other ppl dont really care... cause they have their own lifes to deal with. Now, also dont be ashamed for who you are and what you do, has long u feel happy, thats what it matters. Make things possible to yourself.Go figth! Figth for you to have a better life. Fight for your happiness. Now who owns your life??? Who is the Boss?? U!!! Thats rigth!!! Dont you think u should do something to make your life good? It is your responsability u know? To live a better life. You get depressed for what other people say or think? WHO CARES WHAT THEY THINK?? WHO CARES!! Be responsible for a wonderful thing on u ... Yourself!!They arent responsible for you... You are! They arent the ones that will make your life good... You are! If they make you sad... is because they arent that important... so why do you care for what they think or say? Step up and say!! FROM NOW ON I WILL BE THE OWNER OF MY LIFE. I WILL MAKE MY LIFE BETTER. I AM NOT GOING TO BE SAD OR MAD FROM WHAT OTHER PEOPLE TELL ME.THEY ALREADY HAVE THEIR RESPONSABILITIES TO MAKE THEIR LIFE BETTER. I AM WHO I AM. I LIKE WHO I AM AND I AM MY OWN BOSS!AND HAS MY OWN BOSS MY RESPONSABILITY IS TO MAKE MY LIFE BETTER!AND THATS WHAT I AM GOING TO DO!! If other ppl dont have nothing else to do, other then gossip others ppls life... screw it ... I DO HAVE SOMETHING TO DO... AND THAT IS ... TO TAKE CARE OF MY LIFE!!!! OK mister! step up and live your life, make your life a better life... dont pay attention to what others say!!
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Jan 07
20 is young. You have your whole life and a lot of opportunities ahead of you. Go get your GED. A friend of mine is 50 and just now taking the courses to get hers... so it's NEVER too late, but the younger you are the more opportunities you have available to you. Don't let what others may think or say get you down. I know that is easier said than done, but there are people on your side and you need to remember that. YOU are the only one that can make life better for YOURSELF. YOU have to decide what it is you want, go for it, and not let obstacles hold you back. You live with your parents, and yes, that sux, but hey... at least you have someplace to live!! Use it to your benefit of not having to pay rent while you get everything in order.
1 person likes this
@AskAlly (3627)
• Canada
7 Jan 07
There is some really good advise here, but it still all falls back on you. I know that my boys had thier own struggles in life and our best advise to them was to DO SOMETHING postive. LA is a big place and I'm sure that you have a lot of resourses available to you Distance learning, GED, night classed, day classes. I don't think that many of us have started at the top, just get yourself a part time job to have an income, but get an education or trade of some sort I can see how being stuck in a rut has you feeling down. Get a plan of action and start to do anything with your life. you will feel better. At this point in your life you have not even begun to realize your full potential. You are in a stable home enviroment with your parents, I know that you don't want to stay forever, but I they have helped you this far I imagine that if you made some strides forward in your life they would be more than willing and proud to help you for another little while We had one of our boys stay with us untill he was 23 becaue he was busy going to school. He worked a part time job, but mostly he studied. He thanks us all the time, but it was out pleasue to help him realize his dreams Keep your chin up and make a plan and stick with it. Don't let what happened in the past hold you back.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Jan 07
I think the first poster gave you great advice. You sound like a really intelligent guy, and you definitely won't get any negative comments from me. Is there a GLBT youth center near you? I'm not saying you need counseling, but maybe there would be someone you could talk to that could help you come up with a game plan for getting your education back on track. Sometimes getting an outside perspective really helps. You are young, and maybe you got off course for a couple of years, but it's not too late to get into college and figure out where you want the rest of your life to go. Good luck to you, man, and take care.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Jan 07
maybe enroll in a program at night where you can go back to school to get your diploma or move to an area that is more open to your lifestyle. You will probably have more opportunities there.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Jan 07
I agree with respondant #1. The first thing you need to do ASAP is complete your high school education. Then, if you can, go to at least a community college. I had a hard time finding any work until my local college let me do "work study". It allowed me to get job experience and references. There may be programs for dropouts that help you find a job while you are attending school. Good luck!