Feeling fat and miserable
By hopeful28
@hopeful28 (1439)
Singapore
January 10, 2007 7:18pm CST
Like most people I wasn't bothered about being fat or thin in my younger days. I only became conscious about it when I was about 15 years old when I heard my aunt commenting aside to my cousin that I have put on a lot of weight and am fat!! That was the beginning of my struggle with my self-image where my physical looks were concerned. The way the word 'fat' rolled out from her mouth made me feel like I have committed some great sin and I felt so ugly. From thence I went through diets, anorexia, bulemia, severe depression, suicidal attempts, slashing and overdosing myself etc.... and was in and out of almost all the hospitals in my country and saw several psychiatrists. So far I have not managed to really slim down and keep it down, in fact, my last effort to slim down at a slimming centre, although I lost 5kgs through their program but I gained more than 10kg within a year after that and now I am almost 15kgs heavier since. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Sorry, need to ventilate. There are so many slimming products and programs and gadgets in the market but why doesn't anything really do what it says what it will? Maybe it's lack of self-discipline to slim down healthily. Each time I try to start on a 'spree' to lose weight, I feel like I am torturing myself. Why can't I just eat and remain thin or why can't I just hate food. Sigh!! Any fellow sufferers have anything to say? Did any of you actually managed to slim down healthily without feeling miserable?
4 people like this
47 responses
@Kalachia (230)
• United States
11 Jan 07
I've gone through the same thing, instead of it being my aunt, it was my mother. She'd always tell me that I needed to lose weight, when in all honesty she couldn't talk, she has always weighed more than me. I think it took until I was 16 to realize that she didn't need to be saying that, and that if I was going to make her stop, I needed to do something about my image. I started working out, and she can't say anything to me now, cause even though I'm not the weight I wish I was, she's even more on the hefty side of me ^.^
1 person likes this
@hopeful28 (1439)
• Singapore
11 Jan 07
Glad for you. Unfortunately for me, I am the biggest size in the family. Well, looking forward to thinner days...
@Jemina (5770)
•
11 Jan 07
Dear Hopeful28, I can relate to your experience. Most girls hate it when they are described as being fat. But don't you know that when you are depressed you tend to either lose or gain weight? So if you think you are gaining more weight by worrying, try not to worry. If you can't accept yourself as you are, how can others do? If you hate to talk to the people around you then you can have virtual friends to talk with on the internet and share your worries. One of the best ways to unstress oneself is by talking and unburdening yourself. It's true that slimming programs will only make you fatter when you stop the program so avoid it. I have a discussion on similar topic, you might want to read it.
1 person likes this
@hopeful28 (1439)
• Singapore
11 Jan 07
Hmm, you seem to have hit on my weak spots quite accurately - is it the same with everyone else with this problem I wonder? I agree that to share one's problems with others is a way to destress although other people's opinions may result in even worse self reproach and depression. Sometimes a listening ear is enough and not a list of solutions.
@hopeful28 (1439)
• Singapore
11 Jan 07
All the best to you. I really mean it -I know what it is to start on something and hoping like crazy that THIS IS IT!! If it really works let me know and I will see if it is available here in my country.
@cikedo (3483)
• United States
11 Jan 07
Dieting in itself is helpful when you want to lose weight but it isn't nearly as effective as regular exercise. I'm sure if you added something simple like walking for twenty minutes 3 times a week you will see a difference in your weight.
1 person likes this
@hopeful28 (1439)
• Singapore
11 Jan 07
I really appreciate your feedback. The problem is the discipline to do it continually for the rest of my life - what's left of it. Sorry, I think I can 'feel' your hands round my fat neck and trying to strangle me in your frustration.
@hopeful28 (1439)
• Singapore
11 Jan 07
I will certainly try it out and you are right - they aren't palatable, at least not to me. In fact, I may even skip the snack. Actually, I am not a snack person, it's just that I eat too much during the main meals.
@prettydoyce (282)
• Philippines
11 Jan 07
Id say you hve to develop your sense of discipline on this matter. It's so hard to accomplish dieting and abiding by it.. Good Luck to you
@Ariana17 (92)
• United States
11 Jan 07
I used to be 130lbs and I still thought I was fat. Then I got pregnant and shot up to 196lbs. My daughter is 6 months old and I'm down to 150lbs. Most people say thats great and I'm looking good but my boyfriend keeps either hinting or coming right out and saying I'm fat. The only way I lost so much weight is from starving myself. I can't even tell when I'm hungry anymore. I know its not good for me but I can't remember to eat. Kinda retarded huh? oh well
1 person likes this
@hopeful28 (1439)
• Singapore
11 Jan 07
My sympathies are with you. I also went through a period of starvation. Be careful you are not anorexic. You sound depressed too (post natal depression?) Actually it's pretty good that you have lost almost 50 pounds. If I can do that... wow. Cheer up, friend.
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
11 Jan 07
well I am a yo-yo dieter and I can lose weight and be feeling really good about myself and then someone has to come along and bust my bubble and I come crashing back to earth and it takes me awhile to recover from depressiona dn everything and usually i have gained all that i have lost and then some so nothing seems to work for me. Once my mother and grandmother got hypnotised and my mom went from over 400lbs. to 240lbs. and that was good but I didn't have the money to go or pay for it. Plus i was in another state at the time. I have wanted to get hypnotised since but haven't found the right person to do it yet maybe it would work for you also and it has been years and my mom has kept her weight off. I usually lose my weight with fresh fruits and vegetables and lean meet. and have 6 small meals a day instead of 3 large ones. and dont mix my starches with the proteins. I have also took a diet supplement called T-lite and have lost alot i lost 22 pounds in the first week of taking it and my sister lost 15 and my brother 17 so it varies but still that is considerable weight loss I have just recently gotten me a new bottle of T-lite and I'm going to try this resolution dieting again and try to stay away from negative mena people . Well I wish you luck in whatever yo find works for you.
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
11 Jan 07
Oh and here is a site you can go to to help you out maybe it did me it is called fitday and you can keep track of everything in there www.fitday.com or even www.sparkpeople.com can help maybe check both out and see what best for you. Sparkpeople have support groups and people to talk to that are going through the same as you are. Hope they help.
@Angelinka (1410)
• Italy
11 Jan 07
I am sorry about you..I remmember some years before i felt like you..but you it is going to pass away..of course you got to start to eat healthier...that doesnt mean that you dont have to eat nothing...and my another advise...you got to fall in love...look at my pict now...and please imaginte..some years before i was fat...
@craftwave (1338)
• United States
11 Jan 07
I did low carb or should say am doing since it is a change of eating habits and not just a diet. And there are many new and better tasting low carb foods out now then when I first started about four years ago. Basically it is getting away from processed foods and eating more naturally. It seems the more processed a food becomes the processors seem to add more sugars and things. Cutting down on carbs will cut down on weight gain because your body stores unsed carbs, which it turns into sugars, as fat.
1 person likes this
@yorb24 (2179)
• United States
11 Jan 07
Well I've never been overweight or had a weight problem. But I have found the people who have lost weight start to do it when they find happiness within themselves. I think weight is just an extension of it. There's underlying problems there. That's really awful that your aunt would say that to your cousin with you being near. At a young age it was drilled into your mind, that you needed to be thin. Have you tried yoga? Meditating during yoga can be an amazing stress reliver. Not to mention it helps to center your mind. Good luck.
@jeweledbluerose (3061)
• United States
11 Jan 07
Try using a smaller plate at main meal times and try not to be to distracted while eating. Eat slower and silently count to 5 before taking your next bite. You'll be surprised how fast you become full, by trying this. If you feel hunger about to strike and it's not meal time yet keep a ready supply of vegetables and fruits around or drink a full tall glass of water sounds silly, but it has worked for me.
Also you should never let other people's opinion of you bring you down. No one is perfect and to make you feel like you should be is down right wrong of them. True beauty comes from within not from the outside and I am sure you are just as beautiful on the outside. Take care and good luck.
1 person likes this
@suman76 (648)
• India
11 Jan 07
You try the following tips and you will definately be lose the fat after following this :
1. Like warm water boil the cinnamon power in it.
2. Prayanam is the best. Inhale the breath while keeping your stomach in and exhale through your nose.
3. If you can do the walking you please do otherwise you start walking at home only.
4. lay down inthe bed one side and raise your one leg up same do the second leg also.
5. try to avoid chappati. Go for the fruit and salad for one week atleast and watch your weight.
1 person likes this
@130681shashank (16)
• India
11 Jan 07
ture as you agian weight you feel more and more uncomfortable i have agian like 5 odd kgs in the last few weeks due to travelling i feel that i am carring my hand bag all the time...
@besthope44 (12123)
• India
24 Oct 10
Well, i would say worriness is biggest depression and being obese or over weight gives more tiresome to health and worrying about this cause more depression
@nancygibson (3736)
• France
11 Jan 07
I think its very possible that you won't start losing weight until you find a reason to that works for you. Every simgle one of us is different, and what motivates one person may not mitivate another. Sure, having a relative tell you that you were fat is horrible demoralising, but unless you personaly wish to lose weight purely for yourself, it may never be the right time.
I also feel that 'diets' do not work, try just using a food and excercise diary to track your eating and maintain a healthy balance, but most of all be yourself, be the person you want to be, and if it happens that you are happiest a stone heavier than your aunt thinks you should be, then that is your business and not hers! Please do not beat yourself up, there are lots of ways to be in this world and its best if you are happy, whatever that takes.
@anne_josh (127)
• Philippines
11 Jan 07
we have the same problem. i used to weigh 142lbs but now im only 116lbs which is right for my height. i used 'after six' method. this is where you dont eat when 6pm hits the clock bec at night our metabolism slows down for rest. what i do is i eat at around 5 or 5:30 pm so i wont get hungry at night and binge. i also eat less during bfast and lunch and have snacks in between like an apple or celery sticks.
@mgr1987 (689)
• India
11 Jan 07
there is no harm in being fat.all that is needed for you to slim down is by doing your house works such as cleaning your house,cooking,walking.eat more fruits and drink more water.avoid junk foods.this is the way i got myself slim.try it.all the best.
@tahiyya123456 (534)
• United States
11 Jan 07
You know you are not alone the majority of people are not satisfied with their weight but my suggestion to you as well as myself and others. Stop concentrating on the pounds and just concentrate on improving your health and any small steps is an accomplishment,find hobbies that you like and indulge in them. Remember you are much more than your weight and just do what makes you happy. We all special traits about ourselves that is valuable. So dont get discouraged and hold your head up high because you are somebody.
@ejazrasheed53 (1)
• Pakistan
11 Jan 07
Alas putting on weight is very easy but to bring it down is very hard and as the proverb goes you are what you eat, so my dear you will have to fight very hard regarding losing your weight, and if you can keep a strict programme not to eat much only what your body requires then I think you may be able to control your weight. I have the same problem but I am very much older than you and at my age I have to deal with several illnesses because of being fat.
