Should I watch my friend around my husband or am I paranoid?

Germany
January 11, 2007 9:01am CST
I became friends with this woman a year ago. We get along great, and she's been to my house plenty of times. She's very close to our family. I've not developed a rapport with her husband because he has been deployed. Well at first I loved her coming over, but now I'm wondering what her motives are. When she calls the house and my hubby answers, she talks with him about 10 minutes before he gives me the phone. If she calls and we're talking she always insists on giving my husband any kind of message. We've been to her house a couple times, and she's always catering to him. Even when we go to the mall, and he disappears she wants to know where he is. We both have myspace accounts and she's even emailed him a couple times. Now I have to say that none of her conversations are inappropriate nor has she tried to come on to my husband. When I talked with my hubby, he says that I have nothing to worry about. He even goes as far as leaving the house sometimes when she comes over to avoid tension with me. Though we're all close and I love her to death, I haven't said anything to her because she told me a story about the exact same thing that happened with her with another family, that the girl won't talk to her, and it broke her heart. I also value her as my friend. Should I just accept that married men and wives' friends can be friends too?
1 person likes this
4 responses
@sikkim (113)
• India
12 Jan 07
it depends upon your mentality how you see the world, if you trust your husband there is no problem in it but if there is no mutual understanding between you two i am sure you married life is in trouble.
@roadromeo (376)
• India
11 Jan 07
well, if you think that your husband is so faithful to you that he even goes out of the house when you two are together, then I feel that you should really believe in your good hubby and try to not induce any tensions between your own relationship with him. Now, regarding her, is it that she does not have any other friends or is she not going around with anyone. If she is not then you try to bring other guy close to her. By doing this, she will get someone to take care of her and be with her always. Because I also feel that she may be jealous to an extent when she sees that somebody is caring you, loving and cuddling and that's your hubby. So, try to bring someone in her life who she can love and they can get into a relationship...just to save your own!!
@jyoti23 (47)
• India
11 Jan 07
no married men and wives friends just can't be friends .u better be careful cause husbands do like to be entertained by other ladies .
@vineetg (22)
• India
11 Jan 07
i totally agree to this.. i mean why can't your friends be your husdands friends too.. just imagine it other way round.. what if this was the case with your husband, and you were the one in your husband's place. what i am trying to say is that what if one of your husband's friends was giving you some more attention than required. Wont you want your husband to understand the situation. but on the otherhand you should get the intentions of your friend clarified. as in just ask her casually about your husband and what she think about him... !! this should clarify the situation .. and be on the lookout for any signs that might suggest that her intentions are not clear.