January 11, 2007 9:25am CST
Now I'm an out, proud gay man - have been for 15 years now. I'd like to think that I've gotten past that stage of developing crushes on heterosexual men and have a well-honed gaydar. Recently I found it been "going off" quite strongly over a co-worker who I know is married. I understand the whole metrosexual thing can confuse people but the way gay and straight men interact with one another generally is consistently at a friendly, but "safe" distance. Anyhow, this guy, who I would definately put in the metrosexual category joined us recently from quite a distance and his wife has not moved here yet. He doesn't work in my department and, aside from the first day introductions, I have no reason to deal with him. Yet, he was constantly seeking me out, suggesting lunch, a drink after work, etc. I was clear with him that I was gay and, although he never said he was straight, he frequently talks about his wife. Well, this morning I was in the library doing some research when he came in to show me his new shoes and ask me what I was doing tonight and suggested grabbing a drink after work, then renting a movie. Since he is currently staying at a hotel, this struck me as a bit too intimate a venue for most straight man/gay man relationships. His push to develop some form of relationship with me is causing me to find myself attracted to him. I have no intention of becoming involved with him, given that he is married, but I do enjoy our time together and, if he is questioning himself or, at least curious, I'd like to think I could talk to him about it. My worry is that I risk offending him if I bring it up and if I don't, I risk finding myself in an uncomfortable situation that I may not be able to resist. Any thoughts?