For mums, will you quit job when you have kids?

@kaka135 (13783)
Malaysia
January 11, 2007 9:33am CST
I'm not yet a mother, I just always have this question in my mind. I like to go to work very much, I enjoy doing what I'm doing now, and it gives me satisfaction. Of coz, it supports my financial too. If I quit job, then my family will have one income lesser, it may affect quite a lot. Frankly speaking, I do not wish to quit my job. On another hand, if I don't quit jobs, I gotta ask someone else to take care of my kids (in future). I actually quite worry that others don't really take care of my kids, and don't educate them properly. My husband always asks me to stop thinkin bout this, as it's too far to think about, and perhaps I worry too much. I just wish to educate my kids by myself, and spend more time with them. Well, it's really not easy to be a family & also career woman. What do you think? For the mothers, how do you handle this situation? Have you encountered this question before? What was your choice?
5 people like this
11 responses
@lkbooi (16102)
• Malaysia
19 Mar 07
If you can manage to allot your time properly it’s really easy to be a family and also a career woman. I’m a mother of a son of 20s. I have got such experience before. My mother took care of my kid when I was away from home for work. I fetched my kid back after working hour. In this way I managed to have time to be together with my kid and educated him by myself. Some of my colleagues did get some good baby sitters for taking day care of their children. So they still managed to spent time with their children and educated them.
@kaka135 (13783)
• Malaysia
17 Apr 07
Thanks for your response, and sorry for the late reply. I'm working away from my hometown, that is, my mum and mother-in-law are staying in another state. My husband actually suggested my mother-in-law to take care of our kids in future, which I think it's a good idea too. Except that, I will only be able to see my kids during weekends, or maybe twice a month only.
@oldboy46 (2133)
• Australia
17 Nov 08
When our daughters were born my ex-wife chose to stay at home with them and it was fine by me as I made enough money to cover our expenses, although of course there was not a lot left over for luxuries. I also had a vegetable garden plus hens and ducks which meant we did not need to buy those things and it certainly helped our budget a lot. After a couple of years my ex-wife decided she wanted to return to the workforce because she felt we needed extra money to be able to go away for weekends and holidays etc. We were lucky that my mother lived only 10km away so she started toget our daughters to and from school as well as after school activities and that did not cost us anything at all. It meant we still had a lot of time with our children plus time away and for family outings. My ex-wife was very happy with the situation as she bad the best of both worlds, children cared for plus extra money to spend on what she wanted. Then our marriage broke up and things changed. My partner now was the opposite in that she continued to work after her children were born but that was because of financial reasons. However she lived in a small town at the time and where she was well known so was lucky to get work where she could take her children along with her for most of the time. Then when her marriage broke up, working was something she had to do because she had to pay the mortgage to keep a roof over her children's heads. This meant she had to take different jobs and could not always have the children with her because she worked the night shift as it paid more money. She does not regret working but for her it was a matter of feeding her children and keeping the home for them. She said she would do the same thing again if she had to because she gave her children the best that she could. People work for different reasons and the decision as to whether you return to work when you have children is very much a personal choice and depends on the financial situation. Just make sure that you have plenty of time for and with your children as they grow up so quickly.
• Germany
13 Nov 08
I will encounter similar problem next year, but i have already started thinking of it what i'm gonna do. I'm still a college student, but I will stop for 2 semesters from the coming december on. So that i could take care of the baby with my hubby together for around half year before my classes start again. My hubby said he wants to take care of the baby himself while i'm in the classes, but i have worries, because he is not that practical on housechores. One good thing is he is a very patient person, maybe he will be the one who takes care the baby the most, then i will turn to take care most of the housechores. Still, worry about i could not take care of the family and studies at the same time.
@diansinta (7554)
• Indonesia
18 May 08
the first five year probably we (women) i think should stay home for the development of the baby. we can do anything at the internet at home, i guest its ok if we stay home and watch the kids and taking care the house. But this things i said it's not gonna happen if we don't have a good husband to support.
@katkat3 (426)
5 Jun 07
Hi there, I'm thinking the same as you I don't have children yet but I do plan to have them in the not too distant future. I've said that I would like to do part time work when I have my baby just to have a bit of a break but then who to look after them when I do go to work. Also if I leave my job I will miss out on maternity pay! There is so much to think of when you have children, you don't quite realise until you start plannng things.
@Perry2007 (2229)
• Philippines
1 May 07
It is good to think about that so you can have a plan and alternative in case the child comes in already. if you are woried aboutincome lost then you might as well consider other income sources that you can do home base so you can have the time for your kids and still have the source of income you need. good luck in your search for home base income
@AshleyHasan (1025)
• India
30 Apr 07
I have encountered same your situation.I am a working mom company gave me 6 months of maternity leave and I was with my baby till 6 months , atleast you should be with your kids for 6 months and after ward you can leave them with your parents or can look for some nice creche where you can leave them and go, it the creche is near by your office that will be much better because you can actually take a break in between and then look your baby and come back to your ofice..More than work family and the kids are very important , if you are finacially good it is better for you to stay at home and take care of your kids , if not you should work and then take care of your kids, thats a challenging life and I am doing the same thing..My baby is very happy , I try to spend most of the time with her when ever I am free...You should select nice to person or th creche to look after your baby!..Starting it will be little difficult but after some time you and your baby will get used to it ...My choice is to left my baby at excellent creche and infact she is learning many things ..Take care and the all the best !
@cherriemae (3375)
• Philippines
30 Apr 07
well, for me it depends..i'm a single mom, but i dont have job, and i'm still with my parents but i have a bf whose giving me money for me and for my kid..but i wanted to work so that i will be able to help my bf and i'm already ashamed on him..yes, i do agree that it's not easy to be a mother and at the same time you're working..but it's your choice or it depends upon the situation..if theres no one left for your child, then as a mother, you must be at home but if you can afford to get a maid, then you can work..
• Canada
22 Apr 07
When my oldest was born I did not work and wanted to be able to be home for her but as she got older I did work on and off . Over the years I have worked on and off and just lately gave up a job I was working at because it was bothering three of my five children that I was working . My baby was crying everytime I went to work and would bang on the door crying when I left and this would break my heart . My three year old would beg me not to go and would tell me she would be good if I would stay home with her . Some how she was taking me working as a punishment to her and my fifteen year old was becoming withdrawn and angry with everyone as she hated the fact that I was working with her older sister and her father and I felt she was too young for a job just yet so we paid her to watch her younger siblings and to keep and eye on the house when my husband wasn't home and she didn't like this at all . In the end I did quit as my children mean more to me then any job I would ever have in life and I was stressed out between the job and my family at home . I am glad I quit and my family is much happier but believe this was a chance I was able to make as my husband and I knew that we could make it on less money as we had in the past but not everyone in life has this option :)
@Woodpigeon (3710)
• Ireland
20 Apr 07
For me, when I was pregnant with my first I had to go on bed rest fairly early into the preganancy. I was off work for ages by the time he was born and then back to work first part time and then full time. I enjoyed it. With my second I inteded to go right back to work but after three months decided I lked being home and was fortunately in a position to be able to make the choice to do so. If someone had asked me if I would do it beforehand, I never would have predicted such an outcome!
@laltu86 (1253)
• India
18 Apr 07
Though i am a man still i take the bold decission of answering this question.My mom quitted her job for 6 years simply to upbring me, but i dont expect my fience to do so after we have a baby, neither do i insist. its her decission but surely schedule our lifes in such a way that atleast one of us should be with our baby.