Should a man still have to pay child support if child drops out of school at 16?

@lynninky (491)
United States
January 13, 2007 7:01pm CST
I just want to know how everyone feels about this matter. If the mother lets child drop out of school should either of them still get the child support? I think NO. Education for your child is something all parents should fight for. I would not support one living in my house if they dropped out.If they do not go to school they would work and make own money.Well my child would not be able to work if he dropped out, not until he healed at least. I was reading on another site. This guy was so upset. His dauther had dropped out of school he tried to make her go back.She then is 16 so she went to court got her last name changed to her stepfathers and would not have anything to do with her dad.Then he got a letter in the mail that his ex was taking him back to court for more support because the girl was staying at home eating more now.It is all a bunch of bull..You know I wonder how many men would sue ex wife for support if they could just have their child with them.I know some would because wife left them but what about the ones that just love the kids? What do you think people?
15 people like this
61 responses
@citygirl (1083)
• Canada
14 Jan 07
Hellow people welcome to the real world . Have you ever raised a child. What is this mother let , If you ever raised a kid you should know that the mother, or father for that matter has no choice if the kid goes to school or not after they are sixteen. You can chose to kick them out to live on the street if you like , but you can't chose them to go to school if they won't. Wake up and smell the cofffe and stop blaming the mother. Perhaps if you had put more input into helping to raise the kid things would be different. The mother could also say you chose to let the kid quit school since you obviously didn't stop it either. So why didn't you make the kid go to school you are equally responsible it is your child to. Nice to always put the blame on some one else isn't it. It took two to make the child not just one. The responsiblity of making the kid stay in school is just amuch the father or other parents responsibility as the others. Accept your own responsibility and don't lay blame and the world will be a better place.
2 people like this
@kgwat70 (13398)
• United States
14 Jan 07
You are so right that both parents are responsible for the well being of the child and making sure their child do the right thing. They both helped bring the child in the world and share responsibilities. One parent should not be blamed for what happens. They should both try and get their child to go to school and do well so they succeed. This is coming from someone that does not even have a child.
• United States
14 Jan 07
I couldnt have said it better myself. Ever since the guy left me in my pregnancy, Ive been a strong advocate of having fathers in a childs life. And some fathers like to make excuses after a few years of not having seen their children or paying support.
@lynninky (491)
• United States
19 Jan 07
Well, all of that being said.! I do know my husband has made it clear that zach would finish school, he has paid for extra help with his school work. So that it could be done at school because the mother does not care if it is done or not.My husband had to go to the school to get to see the child report card.His ex would not show it to him,siad it was none of his business.He knew the other two kids dropped out at 16. So he wanted to make sure Zach was doing well enough to want to finish.Both parents should get a say in this type of matter BUT THEY DO NOT!!!!I guess when you have a mother that for some reason trys to make it sound so cool.She has always told her kids stories about how cool it was for her to get up and watch everyone else go to school while she stayed home. Now Zach is the only one in that family that goes to school .Everyone else gets up early and goes riding 4 wheelers. One more thing you can not make a child do something if it does not live in the house with you when it's mother seems to want them to drop out. So yes we lay the blame on her and until you know this woman. I have said enough.We just want him to finish high school. i think the laws should be changed. Wonder who a person would have to talk to about it? Well hope the law about not getting a premit kicks in if child does not finish school. Some laws need to be changed..
@Elaeblue (145)
• United States
14 Jan 07
You sit in your house with no real responsibility for this kid and complain. As a parent I am aware that a kid can quit school when they choose after age 16 but most of the kids who do have already quit learning at that school. You can take your kid to school but you(and the teachers) cant "make" them stay. I would take my kid to school and by the time the first hour class was done she was gone. The teachers would see her go but were powerless to stop her. Every day all of the year she was 15 I took her to school she missed 154 days that year. The only reason I didnt get arrested was because I would take her to the office and make sure they saw me bring her. You sit in your house away from her do you really think you can do better? All you talk about is is making them work once they heal. Well I was in a position where I couldnt touch her at all for any of the bs she put me thru as CPS thoought somehow I should "make" her go. I dont really know what else I could have done as I had to work to support her and my other kids so I couldnt go to school and sit there with her all day. Finally I made a deal with her- she went to school online and the school accepted it. Now 10 years later she is doing well with a husband, three kids and a good job.
1 person likes this
@achyuta (2854)
• United States
14 Jan 07
I think his complaint is valid. The father of the girl is upset but is disappointed also. Her current parents should have the responsibility once they have lent their surnames to her. I feel empathy for this guy.
• United States
15 Jan 07
I agree... My senior year in high school, I was terribly unhappy and I cut school a lot. Now as an adult, I wish I didn't, but me cutting school was not either of my parents fault. I think that the 16 year old needs to have a talk with both parents and set up some kind of a plan with that they want to do with their life. Child support, yes I think it should still be paid. Going to school does not make a difference in child support for the 16 year old.
@lynninky (491)
• United States
19 Jan 07
Well that is now and has never just the matter in my case.I was always making sure that I knew what was going on with my child. Even like went I had to run down a report card in the four grade.His mother decided that I did not have a right to see his report card.I had to get the school to send a extra proof of childs school pictures . After the ex got remarried I was not aloud to go to parents nights because her new husband was there.She moved 11 hours round trip to other end of state to be where her boyfriend moved (now husband). I went down for a birthday(the weekend of)it was not my weekend but the child wanted me there.The mother was asked, I had planned to stay at childs grandmas. We would not have went anywhere without a grandparent because I know how she is.She said that would be fine because child always stayed with grandma on every weekend. Well I get there after about 45 minutes she comes in tells me I have to leave. The child starts crying, my ex's mother starts yelling at her wanting to know why she changed her mind.I told her i would leave start thing in the morning so she call the police. The police got there she told them I was going to try to kiddnapp the child.They asked me to leave so I did.Her mother said her why she did that she said becuase Ricky (her new man) got mad at her for letting me come down early.her own mother did not speak to her for 4 month , thats how bad that night was. SO I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THERE IF NOT I WOULD NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS STUPID TALK OF MY A AND B REPORT CARD CHILD WANTING TO DROP OUT AT 16. IF CHILD WAS NOT MAKING THE GRADE LIKE BEFORE I GOT HIM HELP. I PAID THREE DIFFERENT PEOPLE TO HELP HIM AT SCHOOL AND IT WORKED.IF THAT HAD NOT HELP THEN I GUESS I WOULD HAVE TRIED TO GIVE ON IT. NO ONE COULD HELP HIM WITH ANYTHING AS LONG AS HE IS AROUND HER.THE CHILD HAD ASKED HER FOR HELP, MY EX GOT MAD OVER THAT. I AM STILL VERY INVOLED BUT THE MOTHER DOES WANT HIM TO TAKE ME ANY RESPECT. THATS WHAT SHE TEACHES HIM.MOST WOMAN SAY THEY WOULD LOVE FOR THE CHILDS FATHER TO BE AS ACTIVE AS I AM. BELIEVE ME I HAVE LOST JOBS BY JUST TRYING TO BE THERE FOR EVENTS IN MY CHILDS LIFE.YOU KNOW MY EX DOES NOT EXPLAIN TO THE CHILD THAT IF I AM NOT THERE I HAD TO WORK SHE TELLS THE CHILD HE JUST DID NOT WANT TO COME , HE HAD SOMETHING BETTER TO DO. YES, SOMETIMES I DO!!IT IS CALLED STAYING OUT OF JAIL.YOU KNOW IF A MAN DOES NOT PAID THT $705.00 A MONTH PLUS DOCTOR BILLS HE GOES TO JAIL. WE GUYS CAN NOT GO IT NO PUBLIC ASSISTANCES TO HELP OUT BUT WE ARE STILL SUPPOST TO BE THERE ON BEG AND CALL. I HAVE SISTERS THE BOSS THEY HAVE UNDERSTAND BECAUSE THEY ARE MOMMY BUT AS FAR AS US MEN THE BOSS JUST ASK DON'T THAT KID HAVE A MOTHER.SOME MEN HAVE LITTLE SKILLS AND CAN NOT TKAE THE CHANCE OF GETTING FIRED/LAIDOFF. AS FOR ME I NOW HAVE LIMITED PLACES I COULD WORK IF WERE TO HAVE TO START RUNNING BACK AND FORTH AGAIN. I AM GLAD YOUR CHILD FINISHED THE SCHOOL THING AND IS NOW DOING BETTER.GOOD JOB TO YOU !!!! MAYBE SHE WAS JUST HAVING SOME DEALING WITH SOMEONE AT SCHOOL OR MAYBE EASIER TO DO AT HOME ONLINE. I KNOW MY EX SHE WOULD NOT TRY TO GET HIM TO DO ANYTHING. I BOUGHT THE CHILD A COMPUTER.SHE SOLD IT 2 WEEKS LATER BECAUSE SHE GOT UP IN THE NIGHT AND FOUND HER NEW HUSBAND IN A CHAT ROOM. NOW BECAUSE OF THAT MY CHILD WAS NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE A COMPUTER. MOST HOMES HAVE MORE THAN ONE COMPUTER.. WELL THANKS FOR YOUR REPLY
@mzbubblie (3841)
• United States
14 Jan 07
First of all, If a parent lets her child drop out of school, that's a no-no, Secondly if someone was paying child support for that child that dropped out, I believe that they should step up to the plate and make sure that the child finishes school furthermore, if it takes that other parent to start taking care of the child and have the other parent pay child support. With the way of the world now-a-days you need education to get ahead of the world, with PC's and all this modern technology taking over, You need it. Furthermore, most good jobs require you to at least have a high school diploma. I don't think that paying child support should really be a issue, its the child that really needs to finish school and BOTH parents should be making sure of that...
1 person likes this
@bhchy1 (6052)
• United States
14 Jan 07
In Arizona it is legal for a child to drop out of high school. There is no law to assist a parent in having their child stay in school past 16. But your right, both parents should be held accountable for setting the example and importance of staying in schoool.
@lynninky (491)
• United States
19 Jan 07
Thank you..I think a few of us care about the childs well being.. Thats what I wanted people to think about with this question.My husbands ex has three kids in all. One is now 20, one is now 18, and my stepson is 14.My husband could not say anything about the other two but this is a very up setting matter. Her other two kids are not working because they can not find jobs. I guess she dropped out and thinks is okay for them too.I all ways want a better life for my child.Like some people wrote back saying that child support should still be paid because kid/kids would be home more and they would eat more.To that I said if you let them drop out you feed them or tell them to find a job.At 16 they can work at wendy's,McD's. Let them see how the rest of life is going to be for themwithout that diploma.
@coolcatzz (1589)
• Canada
14 Jan 07
I gave you a + for your discussion even though I don't completely agree with you. If a child is going to drop out of school both parents should be involved in what happens next. My son is 18 and is in college and my ex still pays me child support. After all I still support my child and still feed him and keep a roof over his head. We both agree and have no problems with that. I don't think your statement is entirely fair. Not all women just keep their kids to get child support and not because they really love them. It goes both ways. If a woman had a job and the ex got the kids then she would have to pay up. I know men think there are double standards but I would like to think in this day and age we have come past that. But I most certainly do not keep my kids only for the money. That is just ridiculous.
1 person likes this
@lynninky (491)
• United States
17 Feb 07
IN THIS CASE YOUR CHILD IS GOING TO COLLEGE.WHY WOULD YOU SUPPORT HIM. HE/SHE IS NOT JUST LAYING AT HOME.IF MY CHILD WAS TO TRY TO QIUCK SCHOOL HE WOULD GET A JOB TO PAY FOR HIS EXTRAS. HE WOULS SEE HOW HIS LIFE WOULD BE IF HE HAS NO EDUCATION.I HAVE MY CHILD PEOPLE,MY EX WAS TO LAZY TO GET UP AND MAKE SURE HE GOT OF TO SCHOOL.She went to jail and the judge told me to come pick him up. He has been with me ever since. He was failing when he lived with her , now he makes straight A's. I have to send his copies record cards to the judge.All I know is if he was still with her he would have dropped out of school and I was not going to let it happen.I love my son and I WANT HIM TO HAVE A BETTER LIVE. EDUCATION IS THE KEY AND MOST PEOPLE WHO HAVE AN EDUCATION WILL AGREE WITH ME. UNLESS SOMEONE IS GOING TO SAY THEIR OWN CHILD IS DEPRESSED, UNABLE TO LEARN FOR SOME REASON, I WOULD FIND OUT WHY OR WHAT WAS GOING ON. EVERYTHING HAS A REASON IF YOU JUST GIVE UP THEN YOU SHOULD SEND THEM TO THE OTHER PARENT. LET THEM TRY BUT LETTING THEM QUICK SCHOOL SHOULD BE ILLEGAL.I HOPE TO SEE IT BECOME A LAW ONE DAY WHERE IF A CHILD QUICKS SCHOOL THEY WILL NOT BE ABLE TO DRIVE. This was a good discussion that is all....This is one of my friends life we are talking about not mine...
@nishanity (1652)
• India
14 Jan 07
i guess this happens only in your country.... lemme guess it might be america... forgive me for being so brash but its the fact... i have noticed that none of the people in your country have any sense pf feelings to one another... the fact that the person in question in your father or daughter doesnt seem to bother anyone... it doesnt happen in my country, which by the way happens to be india... we might not be technologically advanced as you people... but we do give importance to something much more better... its relationships!!! so the families in india are much stronger... in america, parents get in trouble if they raise their hands against their children or if they neglect them slightly... well tell u wat? "spare the rod and spoil the child" is a very good saying which u people should understand... the parents dont know how to tackle their children and give them much mroe space than they deserve,,, hence so many drop outs and other problematic people! i think none of this problems would happen if relationships were given some importance,,,, and as the father of the house, the guy ought to know how to make his word as the law... else he aint a good enough father!! besides all these priblems wouldnt have occured if the parents hadnt got divorced in the first place!!
1 person likes this
@lynninky (491)
• United States
19 Jan 07
SPARE THE ROD AND SPOIL THE CHILD... YES A LOT OF PARENTS HERE WORRY WAY TO MUCH ABOUT GETTING THE LAW CALLED.I FEEL IT IS MY CHILD , WHEN HE IS WITH ME HE WILL MIND OR I TAKE OUT THAT ROD.. WITH ME FAMILY IS IMPORTANT, I STAYED WITH MY CHILDS MOTHER AS LONG AS I COULD.I WAS WATCHING MY SON AND HER OTHER TWO KIDS WITH SHE WAS AT BINGO.SO SHE SAID BUT SHE WAS NOT AT BINGO SHE WAS OUT SLEEPING WITH OTHER WOMENS HUSBANDS. THOSE GUYS WIFES CALLED ME TO LET ME KNOW.AFTER THE FIRST ONE I MOVED INTO MY SON ROOM.I WAS THERE TWO MONTHS THEN I GOT NEW THAT SHE HAD GOT OUT AND GOT HERSELF AN STD. MY PARENTS WAS THERE WHEN I FOUND THIS OUT.THEY TOLD ME I NEEDED TO THINK THINGS OVER MAYBE I COULD GET MY SON.WE GOT DIVORCED BECAUSE OF ALL THE CHEATING SHE WAS DOING.I JUST KNEW THE JUDGE WOULD LET ME HAVE MY SON.I HAD 9 GUYS THAT CAME UP TO ME AND SAID THEY WOULD GO TO COURT WITH ME BECAUSE SHE GAVE AL OF THEM THE SDT.YOU KNOW WHEN SHE WAS FOOLING AORUND BEFORE I FOUND OUT SHE WOULD COME HOME AND HAVE TO HAVE IT AGAIN.SO IF I HAD NEVER GOT THAT FIRST CALL I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN THAT SDT TOO.I COULD NOT LIVE THERE AND NOT BE IN BEDROOM WITH HER SO I HAD TO GET OUT. SHE LEFT ,TOOK THE KIDS BECAUSE I WAS STAYING IN THE OTHER BEDROOM.I WAS WORKING EVERYDAY MAKING 22.00 AND HOUR (I DO NOT MAKE THAT NOW).I CAME HOME , PICKED ALL KIDS FROM HER MOTHERS EVEN ON HER DAYS OFF,I WENT HOME WASHED OFF , STARTED FIXING DINNER.MOST TIMES I WOULD HAVE THE KIDS FEED, BATHED, AND BE PUTING THEM TO BED WHEN SHE ROLLED IN.SOMETIMES I WULD GO BACK DOWN STAIRS AND EAT MY DINNER,TIRED OF WAITING ON HER, GET UP DO THE DISHES, AND PUT HERS IN THE MICORWAVE.THATS WAS 9 AND 10 AT NIGHT.SHE WORKED DAYS.I HAVE NEVER HIT A WOMEN, I DID THINK ABOUT ITWHEN I FOUND OUT EVERYTHING SHE HAD BEEN DOING BUT I DID NOT.I COULD NOT PUNISH HER TWO KIDS BUT I WAS THE ONLY ONE WATCHING THEM IN THE EVENING. I DO NOT WANT TO GET OUT OF PAYING CHILD SUPPORT.I WANT TO BE ABLE TO TO HAVE A SAY IN MY CHILD NOT FINISHING SCHOOL.HIS MOTHER IS ALL FOR IT. I DO NOT KNOW ONE PERSON IN THAT FAMILY THAT HAS FINISHED HIGH SCHOOL. MY CHILD MAY HAVE A LOT OF THEM IN IT BUT HE ALSO A LOT OF ME IN HIM TOO. AS MY FRIENDS TELL ME THEY HOPE SO BECAUSE HE DOES NOT LOOK LIKE ME AT ALL.NO ACTIONS LIKE ME. HE HAS BEEN MINE FOR 14 YEARS NOW. IF IT WAS SOMEOTHER GUY.I WOULD SAY IT WOULD BE THE ONE THAT WAS KILLED IN ACCIDENT . BESIDES UNLESS IT IS FOR THE MONEY WHY WOULD A WOMEN LET A CHILD COME UP TO STAY WITH A MAN AND HIS GRANDMA. I DO NOT THINK SHE WOULD, SHE NEVER LET THE OTHER two see the father or fathers.am i a good father i can not say i am.my son would have to tell you that. my ex would say no but i am always wanting to know about my son, i call to much, i think i can just come anytime i want too.i see it if he needs someone and they are not going to be there , i will be there.my ex tells everyone that i should buy my sons clothes at dollar store. that i spend to much money on his clothes,i could give that money to her and she could do much more with it.i would like to know why she thinks $705.00 a month is not enough for her. when her mother ,my mother and i buy everything the child wears ,need, uses,dreams of if i can find it. no i am not buying hima new 4 wheeler to many people are getting hurt and her mother tells me his mother and her boyfriends calls him chicken if he does not do the jumps that they make.he has already wrecked twice.once all of them adults was drinking and not watching.
• United States
14 Jan 07
Whether or not she's in school the father needs to pay child support. I don't see the logic in increasing the child support. I don't know about the rest of you but I spend a lot on school lunches and school supplies, not to mention all the other activities and events sponsored by the school. The way I see it, he should be asking for a reduction.
@crystal8577 (1472)
• United States
14 Jan 07
In most cases once the child is 16 they can drop out on their own. If that happens then there is not much either parent is going to be able to do. In the United States you are by law required to supoprt your child until they turn 18. That means in most cases you are not going to be allowed to kick them out or not provide their basic needs. I don't think I could turn my back on my kids just because they do sometihng that I do not approve of.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Jan 07
By law he is still responsible for his child till she reaches the age of 18 in school or not, that is his responsibility for producing a child. But with her trying to get more since their child is no longer in school that is total c***. He should never have to pay more because mom allowed the child to drop out of school and the idea of her changing her last name that is just a slap to his face and he should fight the proposed increase citing that the name was even changed showing that they wanted no part of him with that child. Her being at home eating all the food is mom's choice as dad was the one fighting it so mom should have to flip the additional bill. Thank you for the good discussion and have a great day!!
• United States
14 Jan 07
I don't feel that the parents should allow their child to drop out of school, but child support is to help support the child housing, food, clothing etc.. Dropping out of school does not affect child support.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Jan 07
The point of child support is not to make sure that your child stays in school it is to make sure that the child has things such as food, clothing, housing and the neccessities of life. I do not agree to a child dropping out of school but if this is your excuse not to pay child support then maybe you should just sign away your paretnal rights. Then you never have to worry about taking care of the responisbilty of the choice you made in having a child.
1 person likes this
@dravid (1050)
• India
14 Jan 07
no way..if you dont feel like studing i dont have problems..all things are not ment for al.but you should get your things...working...if u are not willing to study hoe are you actually thinking to earn your living...what about your bread and butter ...parents will not be live for your whole life what the.....no pay from father...he got to learn the way of his earning..father can just help him...i.e give hin some funds only if he feels that he wil not missuse the money
1 person likes this
@achyuta (2854)
• United States
14 Jan 07
I think the fact that the mother of the girl had the audacity to bring her father to court for she not going to school and staying at home, reflects very poorly on our judicial system. How is such crap allowed. Cant someone expect basic fairness, logic and justice?
@lynninky (491)
• United States
19 Jan 07
thank you for your reply.i think some new rules need to be made for child support. if not some women are going to be handing to kids off to strangers and still keeping the child support.
@bhchy1 (6052)
• United States
14 Jan 07
Absolutely yes! Just because your child drops out of school does not end you responsibility to help provide for the child you fathered. Where were you that you didn't have any influence over your child's choices? And yes, even if the child changes their last name, your still the father and still have an obligation..face it you play, you pay.
@lynninky (491)
• United States
19 Jan 07
wait just a minute... if you would read the whole thing you would see that was not my child that changed his name.it was something i was reading on another website. as far as being in my childs life.i have been there when it was not my time to be there.one of his classese was having a meeting for just 8 of the kids mine included.my son told me about it. i told my ex i wanted to know everything that was said, she reply i am not going to that sh*t. so i took off work drove 5 1/2 hours to get there.my son told her i was going to be there so she did not even drop the child off.the school call his homesomeone answered told her the child had to be there with a adult. she told them she was busy they told her his father is here. well she hang up came to the school with the police.so they would make me leave because her new husband gets mad if she does not have them run me down when i come on non visitation times.i have been there how do you think i know that my 14 year old can't wait until he is 16 so he can stop going to school.just like his mother did, his brother did, his sister did, and his stepfather. his mother is telling how cool it is to stay at home while others go to school. i just know her and she uses the child support to buy big thngs, like remodel her house, her car she uses for work,how she wants all of them to get new 4 wheelers before my his turns 18.you see they talk freely in front of me and her mother.her and her husband pay monthly bills. they should they would have to have them even if child was not there but thanks to him they now have a two story brick home .if it was not for child they would be living in stepfaters very small trailer.child support finished paying off the 4500.00 that was still owed on the house.once that was paid off she boguth herself a new car. not for child , childs grandma takes him to doctors,movies, shopping if he needs to go grandma takes him.i buy every get he wears year round.his grndma buys school supplies for all her grandkids.he eats at grandmas because his mother and stepfater work late hours.it is always after 8:00 when they get home.dear i know how offen my child goes to the bathroom and yes now he is 14 he is going more and staying longer.i call so much he ask me to stop calling.i wnat to be in his life(every minute but i can't)due to his mom moving 5 1/2 away.i know what you are thinking and it was not me. she was fooling around. the first wife to call and me child was 2, i tried to talk to her she told me to deal with it or else. she had two other kids that never seen a father both have different last names.i wanted to be with my son so i shut up.i moved into the room with my son.few months later my parents come to visit.i was busy watching al three kids while she was out.the phone rang i told my mother to get it.it was the health dept asking for me ( they said they had to get some news to me). when i got to the phone i was thinking she has got out and got herself pregnent by some other man (i can not take this). well that was not it she had got somethng alright a std.her man friend told her ,she went to get meds for herself.they told her your married so you need to tel your husband he needs to come in. she told them you can tell him or he will find out on his own. no i do not want to take anything away from my son.i just think there has to be away to get a child that makes a and b's in school to finish school.his mother is not going to do it.i think if i stop paying support she wouls send him to me, i just do not know how long it would take her. yes i love my son. i hope he will not follow in my foot steps too,i did play but i wish i had of played with someone else.i have faced it, and i have alway paid. i would love to have him with me , she would not have to pay at all. i would just love to have my son so i could be there for him like my dad and mom was for me.i want him to finish school even if it would mean telling his mother to spend al the money on herself (not on house ,4 wheeler) and make him go to work at wendy's, mc d's.there has to be away to make him see what his life will be like if he is stuck working at a fast food place.he dresses in nothing but the best.i have never bought him a pair of shoe that was under139.00 (that was when he was 5-9 yrs old.for years they are all over 250.00, his jeans are all 80.00 up to 175.00,his watch he wanted was 350.00 he is 14.,the only under wear he wants cost 10.00 for one.i did this to him i will admmit it.i gave his mother the child support and 76% of all unpaid medical then i take him shopping once a month.my son could not take it if everyone stopped buying for him like his grandma and i do. then he would have to ask his mother to buy him something out of the child support. if she said no go back to school, get a job, work the school thing out. he would he is a level headed child. she has just got him talked into droppin out of school.i just do not understand her.in order to get to him i have to break her first..i hope you all know how worried i am about my child not finishing school, if not look at all the long replies.i am just sick about. he is 14 and she has already got he out of school, he is going maybe three days a week.well he going if it is raining.i need help not attacked.i am none of the good dads.
1 person likes this
@Sir_bobby88 (8248)
• Singapore
14 Jan 07
In the first place how come the child drops out from school , you must know what happend in order to find another school for her yea ....Of course if it is some family problem you should talk to your ex and try talking to her ...i don't think it had reached a situation where you want to throw away your child yea
@lynninky (491)
• United States
19 Jan 07
thanks for you reply.. The child wants to drop out because his mother did, his brother did, and his sister did. They all make it sound so cool.His mother said she was okay with it,if he did not finsih school.Her words was why should he finish it would just make the rest of us feel stupid.Everyone tels her she needs to tell the child that he need to finish high school but she said no she was not going to say one word to him about it.That it is up to him she does not care. All the child and her can talk about is taking the child support since it will not have to be used for lunch money, school supplies.She said the child has clothes on top of clothes, her and her husband pay of the monthly bills like electric,phone,water, rent that is the way it should be.What woman is going to live with another man when she has to take her childs support to pay bills that she would have even if she did not have that child? Well I know of a few low life woman that live with man and pay all the bills with child support. Thats why a lot of men marry or live with some woman. I guess I would have to do without if I had to pay so one would be with me. Something else I do not understand. As for FOOD the child eats what everyone else eats so that should be NO BIG DEAL, yes they may want some little debbie cakes or something.Thats what I am talking about the child would still be eating with the parent it lives with. If that child wanted extras then it would have to do something to get them.Go back to school or get them a job at some fast food place. Most of them will give them a job if you tell they want is going on. Not to many people want to see a child drop out.So they are planing on taking the to pay on the remodeling of the home and the other half of $705.00 to to pay payments on three new 4 wheelers so they can go riding while everyone else is in school.This child makes a and B on report card. It is a waste....
• Melbourne, Florida
14 Jan 07
Considering child support does not pay for school, I don't see why this would be reason to stop getting child support. Does the mother still feed the child? Is the mother still responsible for making sure the child has a roof over it's head, electricity, running water?
@lynninky (491)
• United States
19 Jan 07
thanks for the reply..as far has the monthly bills the mother would have with or without the child..as adults i think we all have our place to live and the bills it takes to keep things going.this is just wild to me. that child is not the reason you have a roof over your head and bills to go along with it..it may be a big plus to some people some they can afford to. feeding the child? you mean that child does not eat what you put on the talbe? you have to take the child support to buy the same food just to make for that one child ? so if the father is sending moneyand it is going for all these things. who is saying they are buying clothes for this child. it seems you would be be keeping a roof over your head with all the bills and you would but letting your child stay with you. no i would say the mother would not (have to keep a roof over the childs head ) i would say in most all cases the father would be jumping at the chance to have had that child with him for all it's life.i do not think he would be worried about the letting that child stay under the roof he has over his own head. you would have to have all those things anyway.if your child could look some of these up when they get older what would they think? would they think no you did not have to keep a roof over my head (but i would hope money or no money you would want to) but in most cases you could always send the child to it's father.. it is just way way some of these are written. it sounds like a duty.when there are so many people out there who would love to have a child and never like like it is a responsiblity. parents are responsible for the kids. making sure it eats yes.as far as your home and bills.let me ask are you remarried ? if so you and your husband have a home and bills.plus you have your child.if you are not married where would you be if you did not have that child ? i mean where is it that you would be to not have a roof, and those monthly bills? i am not trying to be a witch about this but i am a single mom myself.if my child came to me next week and said i think i am going to go live with dad.i would have have these bills/roof to keep.i am just glad the judge lets the woman have the kids in the divorce. heck if it come to child with no support or no child i would pick child.like my husband had put in for one of the other comments (he just did not know what to do with this one) he has lost jobs just so he could travel to be at his childs school events.if the court and his mother would allow him to do so, he would pay her the $705.00 a month and keep the child all the time so he would not have to miss anything else in his life.it's just like when child is here for two months but mother still gets child support for those two months.
• United States
15 Jan 07
I have a few different thoughts on this topic. First no the father or mother depending on the case should not have to pay more because the child is home more after dropping out of school and any judge who awards more in the case is just foolish, therefore I can't see it happening. I could see the judge even commenting on the fact that the child should indeed get a job. On the other hand it may have been neither parents fault that the child dropped out of school because unfortuantely it is legal for that child to make their own decision. The child is still young and living at home and should continue to be supported and pushed toward some form of bettering themselves toward the furture. So my answer is yes they should continue to pay until the child is 18 and in most cases children don't leave the house after the age 18 and in those situations I feel it is sad that the parent not living in the home with the child being legally not responsible for that childs well being decides to discontinue support. There are many children that finish high school and go on to college still living at home but without continued support from the absent parent. This leaves the parent housing the child souly responsible and nothing is ever considered with that.
@SageMother (2277)
• United States
15 Jan 07
YOu must be the guy paying the child support. YOur obligation for chilc support might not end until after the child is 20 if they go to college. That is usually the only time that the child's student status makes a difference otherwise you are responsible, usually, until they are AT LEAST 18 OR BOTH parents emancipate the child. The child that is 16 and not in school, is still under 18. Two more years of child support would be in order, in most places.
15 Jan 07
Of course they should. If the child costs money then both parents should pay for those costs. The fact that the father in the case youy described couldn't persuade his child to go back to school only illustrates that the mother is not 'letting' this happen, the child has made a choice, it is not the mothers fault, so why should she be punished for it. The fact that the relationship between the father and chid has broken down is down to the father. He is the adult, it is up to him to repair the relationship and he is still responsible, the mother does not get to walk away or stop paying whenever her child is being wilful or hates her. There are no conditions to the obligation to raise your child and to pay for that upbringing. If the child leaves home and needs no financial support from either parent then fair enough, otherwise the wage that a 16 year old can earn is unlikely to entirely cover their cost of living and most mothers would not expect them to hand this over anyway but would continue to house and feed them, perhaps asking them to pay a small contribution or to buy their own clothes.
• United States
15 Jan 07
If a child drops out of school I still believe child support should be paid. Even if the child dropped out of school he/she still needs money for clothes, food and more. Although it isn't a good thing that the child dropped out he or she still does need support.
@gochrisko (469)
• United States
15 Jan 07
hell no