Giving birth - a nightmare!

@Marie2473 (8521)
Sweden
January 14, 2007 1:04pm CST
No, I am not pregnant - and I do truly belive that one of the reasons I don´t wanna be is because I am terrified of giving birth. The fear I am feeling can not be normal ... Just thinking of it can make me cry.. This is very sad for me coz I truly want kids, and I truly want them soon... Is there anyone who felt the same and pulled through? Any advice`?
2 people like this
17 responses
@misskatonic (3727)
• United States
14 Jan 07
What your feeling*is* normal. Thousands of women are scared of or disgusted by the thought of giving birth. I'm one of them - the idea of being pregnant and giving birth makes me sick. I feel physically ill thinking about it. But it's not an issue for me - I technically can't have kids and don't want any, anyway. If you want children that badly, look into adoption. The majority of women who are frightened of giving birth to such an extent end up resenting and having emotional detachment problems if they try and suck if up and go through with it. Talk to a therapist to determine the extent of your fears and where they're coming from - if anywhere - and get some idea of what would be the best course of action for you. For a problem like this, it really is best to talk to someone who's experienced in that particular area of specialty.
3 people like this
@Marie2473 (8521)
• Sweden
15 Jan 07
I really do want kids and i am afraid that this will stop me. Adopting here is not easy and it is VERY expensive. Also my bf really wants kids, although maybe not now and as long as the issue is not really there I guess I shouldn´t worry !
1 person likes this
@mansha (6301)
• India
15 Jan 07
Better tell your boyfriejd about your fear, In some countrieds there are aided births too which reduce the pain trmedously. I am asking you to tell your Bf before marriage because I ammarried to a man who didn't want kids at all. We nevber discussed it before marriage as I married when I had just completed my 20th year. I was naive. I wanted kids real bad and we did have evntually two of them but it was emotionally hard for me to convince him and he still I feel not very happy with the idea. It has left some strained marks on our relationship. Please tell your boyfriend this stuff and get it out of the way before its too late.
• United States
15 Jan 07
Well, i do not have any children yet as well. However, i used to have this same exact feeling. I guess the thought that scared me the most was the pain. Oh my god how was i going to handle the pain of giving birth?? About a year ago i let go of my fears. I guess it was when my best friend was having her baby and she had asked for me to stay in the delivery room with her. I had never witnessed a birth before. That was the most beautiful miracle i have ever witnessed. I guess from seeing how after it was all said and done with my best friend was fine. She was happy and smiling and just filled with joy. Needless to say look at the precious little miracle she gotin return. After her and the baby settled in at home I had a chance to ask her this question a question that i'd asked a million times growing up. I asked...didn't that hurt?? How could you bear that pain? She answered...I don't even remember it hurting. All you are focused on at that point in time is bringing your child into this world and as soon as you see that face..whether it hurt or not, you just kind of seem to forget about it all. So, i guess that was what put my mind to ease. Now i am still childless but i am no longer scared!!
2 people like this
@kabella50 (309)
• United States
15 Jan 07
well giving birth in these times is nothing like the days when I was giving birth.In the 60's and 70's when a woman went into labor she stayed home until the very last minute and then went to the hospital and endured hours of pain in labor.Now women get a date to show up and the doctors give epidurals which we use to call spinals and then take the baby through cesarian section.There is not that long intense painful experience anymore .The hospitals say they have to take the baby for one excuse or another when i think time is the factor now and doctors no longer want to wait for the babies to come naturally.
2 people like this
@Marie2473 (8521)
• Sweden
15 Jan 07
here they do not preforme cesarian section unless it is absolutely necessary!
@lauriefnp (5112)
• United States
15 Jan 07
I don't think that what you feel is abnormal; I would say that most, if not all, women have the same fears to some degree. It sounds as if this is really a distressing issue for you, and it could most likely be worked through if you were to receive some counseling. Why not check into mental health counseling services? Ask for a female counselor, and begin to explore why you have this strong emotional reaction and what you can do to reconcile it so that you can start a family. Good Luck!
@Marie2473 (8521)
• Sweden
15 Jan 07
Thanx for commenting. yeah i do agree witht he fact that I might seeks ome councilling. i really do wanna have a kid, or kids someday... but right now the scary part is just to much!
1 person likes this
• Romania
15 Jan 07
This thing is very sad......but I think you don't have to be affraid, or terrified, it's hurt a little, but not like you imagine!!!Have you talkedthis over with your husband??and another thing.......you can give birth in other ways to, not just like old fashion way!!!There are new tehnologies that let you do this....without pain!!! You should try talking to a specialist!!!You're not the only one from this planet with these problems....
@Marie2473 (8521)
• Sweden
15 Jan 07
Yes we have talked about this and he is supportive. i do know that there are other ways, but thats the thing. over here u can not choose. A c-section (or whatever it´s called) is something that u can not choose, it is something that is done, only when something goes wrong!
1 person likes this
@janejaa (412)
• Pakistan
15 Jan 07
Eventhough Im not a female, I think its something really difficult but not too difficult. Dear, we must be terrified of those things that seldom happen to humen but we must not be terrified of the things that are normal to people or that often happen to people. Just bear in mind you are not the first lady to give birth to a child. Nowadays medical science has progressed alot so you'll be not facing any problems. Think of that time when human was not so progressed and the birhts of thos kids. Hope I solved ur problem.
2 people like this
@Marie2473 (8521)
• Sweden
15 Jan 07
Thanx alot for your comment. I know that i am not the first and that it has been done by others a millionm times - however It doens´t remove my horrors. it is hard to explain how strongly i even feel about it!
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Jan 07
I would say that it is normal. I didn't have my son until I was 29 yrs. old. I never had any interest in having children, I think sometimes what we see on t.v. portrays it worse then what it is. Even though I started having him natural, I ended up with a c-serean. And it was still not that bad. Truthfully, if I had a choice of having an absessed tooth or going thru labor again, I would pick the labor.
@Marie2473 (8521)
• Sweden
19 Jan 07
thanx alot for your encouroging advice!
• United States
18 Jan 07
You know having a baby was always something that scared me from having a child but now that i have had my one year old I'm kinda excited to have another child. When your having a child you forget about all the pain.
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8521)
• Sweden
19 Jan 07
Thanx for commenting
• India
16 Jan 07
Giving birth is not a nightmare , this pain is for some time more than 2-3 hours but u forget everything we u have a baby in ur hand . No other things make happy which u will feel when ur baby is in ur hand just after delivery . don't take it more . every women face this situation .
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8521)
• Sweden
16 Jan 07
thanx for commenting. I know that u will probably forget the pain later, but it is hard to do it now since i just think of it with pure horror!
@katyzzz (2902)
• Australia
16 Jan 07
Giving birth can be tough, but just think of all those, including me who have done it. Nowadays they do a lot to help you. Sometimes it is very easy for some. The reward at the end of it all is amazing
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8521)
• Sweden
16 Jan 07
Thanx for commenting
@AskAlly (3627)
• Canada
15 Jan 07
Just breathe!!!!! I can't think of anyone that actually looked forward to labour and delivery. But the world is very populated so it is being done all the time I don't know if I was more scared the first time or the times after (I had 5) The firts one was fear of the unknown the others were fear because I knew what was going to happen. The thing is they now have the epidural. I had one during the birth of my 5th son I could not believe what an easy time I had!!!! In a way I still can't rationalize the fears I had each time. But after when you are holding that wee babe in your arms it was all worth it.
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8521)
• Sweden
16 Jan 07
Thanx for your comment.
@moneymaka (495)
• United States
15 Jan 07
Im glad i dont have to worry about this, being a guy rules :P
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8521)
• Sweden
16 Jan 07
But there are other things we women never have to worry about =)
• India
15 Jan 07
I went thru hell when i was pregnant with my son but when i look back at what i have being thru i looks minimal in front of my little son i think it was worth.
@Marie2473 (8521)
• Sweden
16 Jan 07
I am sure it will be worth it once it´s over - but just thinking about it makes me shake!
• Indonesia
15 Jan 07
You have a phobia of giving a birth. Therapy to get the phobia out of your mind is the way out. You need to go to the psyciatrist. For some reason it need a lot cost. To get try the cheapest way you can also find out by asking friends or find some books how to get out of it and you can do it of your own. Tell this to somebody very close to you ( family, friend, boyfriend, husband etc), you need support nearby you to make you strong facing it. And the caesar surgery would be a choice if you are about to giving a birth but you cannot get rid of it yet.
@Marie2473 (8521)
• Sweden
15 Jan 07
Thanx alot for your advice
• Philippines
15 Jan 07
Is your problem only is giving birth? You are not afraid to get pregnant, aren't you? Well based on my experiences only normal deliveries suffers pain that you are afraid of. Just thinking of it really hurts you because half of your life would be in danger. Why not try a caesarian section if you are afraid of the pain of giving birth. Just my advice.
@Marie2473 (8521)
• Sweden
15 Jan 07
if that was a choise i would, but over here they do not do it unless it is REALLY REALLY necessary =)
@Geminigirl (1909)
• United States
15 Jan 07
I am not afraid of giving birth, but I do not want kids. If you do know that you want kids, but the physical pain scares you, then I would think adoption would be the perfect solution. Good luck with your situation.
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8521)
• Sweden
15 Jan 07
Since you do not want kids, can´t you pass over some of your curage to me *lol*
1 person likes this
@totnakish (141)
• Philippines
15 Jan 07
i saw my wife in her joyous & happy mood in giving birth so i beleive its not a nightmare instead it a blessing from God because you already a mom/dad by having a child
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8521)
• Sweden
15 Jan 07
I know having a child is a blessing, although i do not belive in God. However if you are scared of something it is hard to look at it this way!
1 person likes this
• India
15 Jan 07
ho...come on lady..i acn understand ya feelingss...bt even den..u need to undrstnd dat dis process of reproduction is the basis for the very existence of dis world...wait a sec...wat if ya mother was sittn up quite wid the same kind of emotions...forget it...u h ntmentind the reason 4 ya fear proprly..c..in todays world ders so much advancemnt in medicine..each n evry step n the devlpmnt f baby is traced..so no prblm at all.....no fears at all..jst do it..all the best
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8521)
• Sweden
15 Jan 07
No fears - well I am afraid that it is not possible... maybe i need councilling =/
1 person likes this