Should religious differences stop people from getting married?

United States
January 20, 2007 9:24am CST
I ran into this situation as a teen. This girl and I were in love and could have seen ourselves married in the future. However, her parents never would have allowed it. I eventually moved away and think of her from time to time. What would you do in this situation?
3 people like this
16 responses
@makaira (1158)
• Philippines
23 Jan 07
two of my friends were caught up in this kind of situation. one was a christian and the other was a muslim. they had a really hard time about their relationship because parents and religion really won't allow them. however, im very happy to see them that they are happily married today. i think religion differences is such a big problem. However, I think, we should stop this. it will lead us to nowhere. it will just create more hatred. if i was caught up in that situation, i would fight for the person that i love and pray that he will also fight for me...
• United States
23 Jan 07
Good for them. Whether any of the readers know it or not, there is only one God, no matter the name. Man is the one who created organized religion and how you should practice it. Does anyone believe this one Supreme Being would talk to the different people who wrote the many holy books that exist today. To give them all contradicting ideas. Not a chance. To those who think their God is the only god and their religion is the only right religion, I say this. Every one of you and your different religions are right. As long as you live life correctly and strive to improve your life and those you come in contact with, than what's there to be wrong about. Really people, do you really think there are many gods sitting around playing a cruel hoax on us. Seeing who can have the most followers.
• United States
24 Jan 07
Yeah, people just don't get it do they. We're a selfish and stubborn species. Most people are very closed minded and don't have what it takes to see beyond their face. Thanks makaira.
@makaira (1158)
• Philippines
23 Jan 07
i totally agree with you. We only have one God and that our God wants us to be all united. I think the problem is with us, people. however, we should be very open-minded to understand this differences.
• United States
5 Feb 07
I don't think religious differences should stop people from getting married, but ultimately the situation and decision is different for everyone. I come from a Jewish family and my parents don't really care what religion my partner is as long as they're a good person. My sister's boyfriend is Jewish and my boyfriend is not Jewish, and my parents treat them both like part of the family. I know of a few other Jewish people who won't marry non-Jews. It really depends on how important religion is to the people involved, I suppose.
• United States
5 Feb 07
Absolutely true. Situations and decisions are very different and unique to each couple faced with this. Like you said, it really depends upon the people involved and their willingness to accept and respect each other.
• Philippines
5 Feb 07
Anything can be settled through compromise. Marriage's sole purpose is for love and commitment. Having united by this special sacrament, you have agreed to respect each other's individuality, and this includes spirituality or religion so to speak. Just as long as the other person's religion doesn't require him/her to kill or eat live animals (in other words, cannibalism) i think it is just okay and there shouldn't be any problem with this. There might be some differences you could stumble upon to when talking but i think the best decision you could ever make to avoid issues regarding religion is that one should humbly accept and be open to his/her partner's religion. But he/she has to do this with great sincerity and open-mindedness.
• United States
5 Feb 07
Wow! You have a very mature view on relationships. That is indeed what a marriage is all about. Two people becoming one while retaining their individual self. They are to grow and learn together and conquer any hurdles placed in front of them.
1 person likes this
• Pakistan
4 Feb 07
YEs it is the main reason. The religion difference do matter and it does effect for someone who are religious. They don't get married to those who are not from their religion even they can die on them.
• United States
5 Feb 07
It's a shame so many people feel this way. If religion teaches us is to love one another without judgment. It doesn't matter the religion you practice but the kind of person you are.
@emquinsat (1058)
• Philippines
4 Feb 07
Well I think its a religion is a lame excuse. If you really love someone, this shouldn't be a hindrance at all. I've seen a lot of lovers conquer this difference. And I believe now a days this isn't a big of an issue anymore.
• United States
5 Feb 07
You summed it up very nicely. Maybe someday all people of every religion will realize what we already understand.
@thyst07 (2079)
• United States
5 Feb 07
Religious differences are an important factor to consider. If you both strongly believe in different things, and believe the other person is wrong (or even going to hell for what they believe!), chances are you're going to have trouble communicating on this issue. Religious views have a large impact on values and behaviors, and it can be hard for two people with completely different values to find common ground. I think for people with different religious beliefs to be together successfully, they both have to be willing to accept that their belief is not necessarily the only right belief, and that the other's beliefs are just as valid. It's a really rare balance, but I don't think it's impossible. And as for the question of being "allowed" to marry, I don't think that anybody anywhere should have a right to say who's allowed to get married and who isn't.
• United States
5 Feb 07
Well put. Life is hard and though we all have our differences, we become better people by stepping outside ourselves and understanding that there is no one way to do anything. It's a matter of acceptance and respect. We need not practice another's faith but making yourself see things through the other person's eyes is what makes us grow spiritually.
• United States
24 Jan 07
Absolutely not. Religion is a small factor. It's completely possibly for two people to be in love and have their own religious views. It doesn't change their feelings. I would never let religion, or any other small matter, stop me from something I really wanted.
• United States
24 Jan 07
Beautifully said. Religion should be no more a factor than anything else when making such a decision.
@jmcafam (2890)
• United States
26 Jan 07
I don't think religon should stop two people from being together. It is the love between one another not the religon. You both can believe in differnt things.
• United States
26 Jan 07
Absolutely. There is no reason two people in love and committed to each can't live with separate religions. The only thing needed is respect for each other's beliefs. ‹(°¿°)›
@pennycan2 (251)
• United States
23 Jan 07
Being raised in a Christian family it was important for me to find someone with the same values and same religious beliefs as I. My brother who is protestant (inter denominational/pentecostal) married a catholic and they are having issues on how to raise their non existant children. My husband and I never had this issue as we are of the same denominational belief so when it came time to bring our child to church, there was no argument over christening or dedication, we dedicated our child as our church does not baptize babies. Ceremonially it is the same practice. There are other issues that weigh in when you marry someone who does not believe as you do, it can put stress on you and your marriage. If you are a person who holds strong Christian or any other religious beliefs I think that it is important for you to marry someone who has the same beliefs as you do. You wouldn't marry someone who hated what you love passionately i wouldn't think so this should be along the same line.
• United States
23 Jan 07
Very good points and some real concerns. There are so many factors to take into consideration when contemplating one of the most important spiritual decisions you will make during your life.
@xiongqh (791)
• Hong Kong
22 Jan 07
I think so, It will stop people from marriage. Diffrent religion will make people have diffrent value about life, family, country, and so on.... Another side, some religion have diffrent eating mode. muslim don't eat pork, but for most of chinese eat pork, if they married, they always argue for the problem, it will make the relationship became worse. I know some people with diffrent religion get married, it doesn't means it is popular.
• United States
22 Jan 07
Good points, however, one can still live their life with their beliefs and practices intact. No matter the religion, we are taught not to judge, so long as there is mutual respect for each other. Without diversity, life would be very uninteresting, unchallenging and quite boring. Popular is not why people get married. They get married because of love and respect for one another.
@kritipen (4082)
• United States
21 Jan 07
Generally both boy and girl coming from same background helps in having more common grounnd for a relationship to grow. But if 2 people are in love and they sufficient things in common, they should get married even if they do not belong to same religion. Same religion, same status, matching sun signs, matching horroscopes etc., all are meant to increase the common ground for a relationship to grow and blossom.
• United States
21 Jan 07
Absolutely. As teens you can't make those choices while living under your parents roof but once two individuals reach a certain age they have to do what's best for them. ‹(°¿°)›
• Philippines
4 Feb 07
I don't think that religious differences should stop people from getting married.
• United States
5 Feb 07
I agree completely. A couple should hopefully be able to work through anything if they respect and love each other.
1 person likes this
@shobasvk (787)
• Malaysia
26 Jan 07
No,i don't think so.Religion is for people to live a cultred life and taught the good things..Not to separate anyone.People who get married to different religious can continue tha same way after marriage.It's their personal needs and no one can interfere in that.Have guts to make love...so must have that same guts to stand for our love one.
• United States
26 Jan 07
Couldn't have said it better myself. Love does conquer all. As long as two people respect and love each other, than religion should only strengthen the bond. Besides, each can learn new things from the other. ‹(°¿°)›
@smkwan2007 (1036)
• Hong Kong
23 Jan 07
There is no strict rules forbidding people of different religions from getting married. However when they become man and wife, it means they will be living together for a lifelong time. When two people with different beliefs accompanying each other for decades, religious conflicts must happen. This would destroy the bonding between the couple and finally their marriage may end in disaster. I think that is why your girlfriend's parents disagree your being together. Well, if both of you firmly like to challenge the difficulties ahead why not set up your own family and try to prove her parents wrong!
• United States
23 Jan 07
That was long ago now. Then I would have fought for her hand as she would mine but now with age I realize that things might have been difficult but with respect and love perhaps it could've worked. ‹(°¿°)›
@samsonskola (3357)
• United States
20 Jan 07
i see nothing wrong with marrying outside your religion, as long as each person respects the others beliefs and does not try to persuade them otherwise...i've been in that situation, and it's a constant battle...i think as long as each person respects the other persons right to keep believing and not try to change them, they should be allowed to be happy.
• United States
20 Jan 07
So true indeed. That was the case for my girlfriend and myself. However, we were minors and she couldn't dismiss her family's wishes. If we were adults it would have been entirely different. ‹(°¿°)›
@Poison86 (121)
• Bulgaria
21 Jan 07
Sometimes,I don't think Christians and Muslim will have a happy marriage,because the religions and the traditions are so different.
• United States
21 Jan 07
Don't you believe that if two people respect each other's beliefs that all will be fine? After all, no matter what name people give God, Allah, it is only one Supreme Being. ‹(°¿°)›