Boyfriend cheating??????

United States
January 20, 2007 12:03pm CST
Well i got on my bfs computer the other day and i discovered he had been talking to a girl who he was talking to before we meant and i'm not sure what to do about it, i'm upset and all he is saying is that it's not what i think and that he has only talked to her a few times in the past few months but i checked his cell phone and he has talked to her twice in the past week. I need help with this one
7 people like this
72 responses
@mzbubblie (3840)
• United States
21 Jan 07
In my relationships, I know going into it he probably know some females, as long as we have communication and trust one another, and secure in the relationship, I don't think there would be anything to worry about it, no offense to you. However, talk to your boyfriend and tell him your feelings and the reasons why you don't like the fact he speaks to her. If he really is concerned for your feelings and the relationship, he will change and not speak to her again. If he's going behind your back, however, you need to really talk to him and how it affects the relationship for being secretive...Good luck with your relationship...
• Philippines
21 Jan 07
Trust and respect are the basics of a relationship..not just love. There's what we call blind trust...for now I cant say that you need to have that..but just keep your eyes open. You dont need to suspicious of your boyfriend though. If you feel he loves you that much, then trust
• United States
21 Jan 07
Probably there's nothing going on there. Maybe they are just normal friends chatting about things they want to. So, don't be too suspicious. Cheers! ^_^
1 person likes this
• India
21 Jan 07
gently speak to your boyfriend about this issue and try to resolve this matter...or break up if it doesn't work
1 person likes this
@denden (803)
• Philippines
21 Jan 07
you have to talk to him about that matter and discuss about your problem.be open enough when you and your boyfriend. so if hes keep on denying it then you must called off him and move on.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
21 Jan 07
i think you have to watch out for him. maybe his doing something in your back, and you should discover it before things gets worst. test him if he is really telling the truth, if you can interrogate him it would be better, than if he keep on pushing for a different topic, it means he is escaping something, there must be something he hides, and you must discover it. you know it's so hard to put your 100% trust on your boyfriend nowadays.
1 person likes this
@sbernama (47)
• Malaysia
21 Jan 07
a man will always be a man. what he is doing is basically playing hide and seek with u and he is enjoying it. the fun of doing something wrong and get away with it is something exhilirating. if he could do it now, who could say he wont be doing it again later?. it is going to be difficult to skip this bat habit. u have to decide
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Jan 07
It does sound like he's cheating and he lied, unless you truely love him, break up with him. I think you'll only end up in tears if you don't.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Jan 07
Well if he was talking to her before you met, then what's the problem? Perhaps they're just friends? My bf has plenty of female friends and I trust him. If you don't trust your bf, there really shouldn't be a relationshiip there.
1 person likes this
• India
21 Jan 07
You just leave your bf if he have something in his heart for you he coma back other wise leave him .. Take care bye
1 person likes this
• Pakistan
20 Jan 07
If he is lieing then there is just one simple solution you just leave him because that guy doesnt really knows his lovers value but if he is saying the truth then you must forget this small thing because its just a small thing. If a guy is chatting witha girl or talking with a girl on her cell is not a big deal. Its common. Its the way you trust your bf.
1 person likes this
@ritak3 (52)
• India
20 Jan 07
hmm well its a very difficult situation and also critical. dont worry just as him to give you that girls number talk to her politly as a friend. and make sure that while talking to that girl you specify your bf's name and express that you both love each other so much. see what i feel is trust is very important in a relation. i am not talking in favor of your bf but i am trying to help you. if you were my younger sister i would have suggested you the same. and one thing friend, if you have any confusion in life talking out is the best way of solving it. :)
• United States
20 Jan 07
Thanks for the advice but the girl wont talk to me , i allready tryed.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Jan 07
that girl could be sitting on his peni* and tell you they are just friends. Don't be stupid abbout this. You have no reason to call her your not his wife. Your not in need of getting the facts before a divorce. Your a person who can say hello today,and goodbye tomorrow. Without a second thought. he is not cheating on you leave the poor man alone. Unless your looking for a way out.
@wrdsofwisdm (1070)
• United States
20 Jan 07
Well, You have already caught him, confronted him, and when you checked the cell phone, his excuse doesn't match what you found. If he hasn't met with her yet, he probably will. If he wasn't interested in cheating, he wouldn't be dishonest and sneaky about it. I can tell you from experience...if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, then it's a duck. Don't waste your time worrying if he's doing things behind your back. I would confront him about what you found and how it doesn't match what he told you. That will give him one more chance to explain. If you get a stomach ache after he explains again, you need to say bye. That's your gut instinct teling you to run away.
• India
21 Jan 07
I agree with you wrdsofwisdm.
• Canada
21 Jan 07
I would love to tell you that everything is going to be ok and to trust him but honestly I dont think I can...... I think that it might be possible for this girl to be his friend yes but for him to lie to you like that is not looking good in that thought........I am so tempted to tell you to see if you can keep track of his convos but then again that would mean that there is no trust in that department so I would not advise you to do so...... I think that if you know that he is lying to you that you need to hold your head up high as you walk out the door and think that there is someone out there for you and that would not lie to you and that you can do better then that......because honestly from my own experiences you do not need to be treated like that and it will just go down hill from there...... Hope I helped a little
@doncris (637)
• Romania
21 Jan 07
You need more "evidence", that's for sure. Try phoning this girl and CALMLY talk to her. See how that works. Maybe he's telling the truth.
• United States
21 Jan 07
if he is just talking then i dont think that you really have anything to worry about. Yes it is our meaning "woman" jealous side that doesnt like the idea that our men are talking to other women but if they are just talking then we really dont have anything to be concerned over. If she is just a friend. but the idea that he has meant someone on the computer and then begin talking on the phone together peaks up some more concerned jealous emotions. where does this girl live? has your relatiosnship since been rocky? is there any chance that she and he could get together. if she lives close by and noth in a different state then i might be a little concerend. If he has met her then i would be concerend. ask him straight out without getting into an argument what they talk about, does he like her, are they just friends? he has been hiding this from you and you need to know why. if you fel like you have to worry then there isnt any trust and if there is no trust there is no real bond. sit him down and have a talk . tell him everything you feel and find out exactly what is going on between the two of them
• United States
21 Jan 07
Maybe he just found a good friend in her. I wouldnt jump to conclusions till you guys hava a non blame talk. Where either of u dont make the other feel guilty for this girl. Least not until you find out the truth. If she is just a friend i would leave it be. I have had plenty of male friends in my lifetime and they where JUST FRIENDS. Now if he is interested in her or there is something going on you have the right to know. Tell him its not fair to string you along. Your a human as well and have the same good and bad feelings as him. I wish you luck.
@tigerdragon (4297)
• Philippines
21 Jan 07
irish, he is definitely cheating on you. this is a man telling you and i hope you would listen to my point of view.if those were the facts then it is time to have him seat down with you and have a serious talk and if everything fails then i would say you have to let him be and go on your way because the love you tought you have with him is not really worth fighting for.
• India
21 Jan 07
Hey, don't worry of anything, he is just flirting with a girl which u mentioned. If ur love is true, he will definately come to u. U must have a trust on him that's it. Don't try to veil his conceal activities. Just simply trust on him and try to be in his contact as much as u can. Anyways, be happy.
• India
21 Jan 07
this relatinship is depend on faith only if u see something wrong that u not like then the relation is not proper at that time . it is purly depened on your choice u can trust him or not so u deside. if u have broadmind then u carryon and if not then leave it.