u like arrange marriage or love???????
20 Jan 07
Many people , especially in the west do not understand clearly about arranged marriages. Many love marriages in countries where arranged marriages are prominant fail. The explanation for this is fairly simple. The reason why arranged marriages work well in countries like India and so on, is because, there are pre-defined criteria on how a man or a woman should behave and certain roles and responsibilities are enforced by the society itself. Also in those countries, families are more united and they have a big influence in the couple's lives. Respect for elders, respect for advise from experienced people and family is enforced by the society itself. So a couple living to gether in such a society in midst of the families always live their lives by satisfying many intrinsic family and traditional values and social values (unlike western world, there in almost all cases, they are very independent ). So a couple living in such an arranged marriage always think twice before they do something bad, or say something bad and think about the consequences which would affect their siblings and their traditions and their entire families. And that is why, there is much compromise , support by the family and trust established. And that is why many arranged marriages there are successful, because of the variations in the social structure. This will not work as well, in the Western Coutries, where we do not have such structure. Given that many in the western worlds think that in an arranged marriage anyone just pick anyones and just marry. It is not so. Many times, especially these days, both men and women are given the choice to see many such prospective families and look at their traditions and also to many levels about personality compatibilities and also for most part they seek their spouse from their own culture, relligion, traditions and so on, which makes a life a lot easier. Just a couple getting along in life is a challenge. And when religion, culture, traditions are varied, it takes a huge amount of work to keep things in place. Their society gets rid of some complexities , so marriages can last. Many love marriages do not last as long as arranged marriages in those countries, because of the same issue. If the couple has a issue, there is no one to really help or advise, and they won't listen to in the first place. It's a fight between two, and who is to say among them, is wise? There is love at first sight and then love formed because you completely understand a person. And arranged marriage usually has the second form of love. Beauty is only skin deep. Love at first sight is all about physical attraction , even before you know anything about the character of a person. The more you get to know a person, the more you get along with your spouse and his/her families, the more everyone loves you, and love is built slowly in arrange marriage. And of course love alone doesn't feed a family. There is both financial and moral support given to the couple in many cases. But that does not mean 100% of the couple in the arranged marriages are happy. There are always exceptions. Not everyone can get along with everyone in the family. But then again, that is where tradition and compromise and religious values give them the power to keep things together. The reason these days there are issue in arranged marraiges more than the older times, is primarily because of loss in family values, and family and social unity, and where these countries become more Westernized and people become independent. happy mylot day.
7 Jan 08
I have done and I choose my feeling which is I am in love to the person I love. For me, I would choose to a love marriage. I would choose this because I believe that having a love to the person who you marry will bring a good harmony to your relationship and it is not hard to be him/her for the rest of your life.
20 Jan 07
i like both of them . both of them have pros and cons and they differ for different people. love marriage has very less success stories as u can see in america or other countries that have independent culture. there the love marriage is performed in most of the cases which don't last for long. whereas in arranged marriage there r chances of lasting and the example is india. the rate of divorce is very low in india and the credit goes to the effective family planning by the parents and arranging the wife of their sons.