how do you discipline them for this?

United States
January 20, 2007 8:22pm CST
Ok to start off I love my children very much. I'm very upset at the moment though. To start this off, my husband and I have been married almost 10 yrs. When we were first married, i had a very cheap solitaire from walmart. Anyway, so last year for my bday, valentines day & our 9 yr anniversary he decided to take me to the jewelry store and tell me to pick out what i wanted. so he bought me a beautiful brand new wedding set. I'm always extra careful with it, so yesterday when making the beds i took it off and sat it on my armoire in our bedroom. Not thinking another thing about it till today as we were geting ready to leave and I'm searching all over for my rings and can't find them. My middle son tells me that my youngest daughter got them and had them. So after 2.5 hours of searching the house top & bottom for them, my daughter actually tells me that trent got them down and gave them to her, because she can't even reach the armoire. So i tell them, it's ok mommy's not mad but i really would like my rings. Tell mommy where you put them. Neither will tell me anything. Finally I get really emotional about it and start to cry and my daughter takes me to the other end of the house and says bam bam put them in here and pointed to my oldest sons toilet in his bathroom. Shocked I go to tell my husband, so he starts asking trent and trent hides behind the door. (what he does when he knows he's done something wrong) finally he looks at me and says i put it in the toilet, but avery is hte one who flushed the toilet. He's almost 5. He knows better then this. She's only 2 1/2, but they both know better then to touch things like that. So with how upset I was I just grabbed my keys and left the house. I didn't wanna say or do anything I might regret. So now I'm wondering how do you punish them for something like that so that they understand what they did wasn't acceptable, and was wrong in so many ways. Now I didn't ask for it, I had it pushed back on my armoire toward the back, where it was out of reach. So my son goes and gets the stepladder to get up there. That ring meant alot to me, it had sentimental value as my husband doesn't generally do things like that. Definitely not with thought into it. Not to mention the thought that my kids flushed $3,000 down the toilet and it was "nothing" to them.
4 responses
• United States
22 Jan 07
First hon I'm so sorry that you lost your rings. Perhaps your homeowners insurance would cover it? Hmm...its a stretch but something worth asking. Your kids had no idea the cost and value of your rings. Unfortunatly. They will never forget this day when they hurt and disappointed mom so much. I'm sure they have punished themselves quite well. Your decision to leave the house and cool off was wise, it is definatly ok to do that! Just reassure your kids when you are ready to talk about it with them that you love them dearly and of course more than a set of rings, but that other people's posessions are valuable and they need to respect them. This was a hard lesson that I'm sure will stick with the older ones for sure! *Hugs*
@aprilten (1977)
• Philippines
22 Jan 07
I'm really really sorry for what happened. But, like others here said, your kids are too young to know the value of those rings. They did what they think is fun for them. I understand that it's not easy to forget that $3,000 was flushed down the toilet but, you will just laugh thinking about it years from now. I suggest that you and your husband set a meeting with all of your kids including the youngest. Talk about what happened that day and explain to them why you got so mad and other relevent things that they should know. You can also ask them how they felt seeing mommy so upset. But be careful cause they might think that it's all about money. You can probably tell them it's important to you because it's a gift from their dad, etc, etc.
@jenbatres (800)
• United States
21 Jan 07
I am sorry about what happened, I know the rings were special to you but the ring does not make your marriage any happier. I don't think the kids need punished but in the future I would find a safer place for your rings. I would also call your insurance company, they may be covered. Best of luck
• Philippines
21 Jan 07
I'm so sorry for what happened but remember that it's just a ring worth $3,000 compared to your 2 children. Yes it's of sentimental value but 2 children to suffer just in case. Embrace them both and cry over what they have done, tell them about it, what they did is not good, that they should not touch nor get what's not theirs, that they should get permission from mom or dad if they want to see something, teach them the value of money and everything so that they could appreciate them. Flushing that down into the drain was nothing to them because they do not know the value. The ages of your children are best time to cuddle them while teaching them what they are supposed to know. May God bless you and my embrace to the kids.