Have you ever fallen in love with someone who is currently in a relationship?

@Mikaelo (191)
Philippines
January 23, 2007 2:46am CST
There's this girl that I like. The only problem is that she's taken...if you know what I mean. The good thing is that her boy friend is very far away from where she's presently located. So, I don't want to ruin a good relationship...but, I think I have fallen in love with her. How would I know if the feeling's mutual? And it's this guilt that's getting into me every time I think about making the first move. Is it just ok to fill in? Should I continue? Or just wait and take my chance after they break up?
1 person likes this
27 responses
@hobohobo (681)
• Indonesia
24 Jan 07
i agree with other responses, it's absolutely wrong, being the third person is not good, and waiting her is just waste time because how about if they never broke up their relation. Before you try to make a relationshipp we should know about her, so we dont make a mistake, try to be her friend but dont hope more than that. I suggest you too find another girl, it's very bad attitude try to take that's not belong to you. But if he is really for you, the time will come. regard
@Mikaelo (191)
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
Like others said. It's not my fault that I have fallen in love with a girl who's currently in a relationship. But like I also said, I couldn't help it. In your life, have you ever felt something so right? Though the feeling is right, the timing is not right...and that's what's too damn difficult! Like a famous song said: "We had the right love at the wrong time..."
@hobohobo (681)
• Indonesia
24 Jan 07
yeah but keep our love for her while she was in relationship with other guys si still not good. Hope you can find another way out
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@Mikaelo (191)
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
I sure am hoping that she would realize that I am just on her side whenever she needs me.
@jillann (780)
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
It's definitely not right that you make a move with this girl since you know she has a bf. It's not your fault also that you have fallen for the girl. Just out of respect, don't make any move unless you know that she's already free. You might even risk loosing your friendship if you make a move. This things are just one of the many heartaches people experience when they get into love. Be strong buddy!
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@Mikaelo (191)
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
Ok, well let me ask you this...do you think long distance relationship would work? I mean, I know how difficult it is to long for someone. What if...just what if you fall for someone who you think could fill the gap that your bf could not possibly do? That is possible am I right? I know that I might gamble our friendship here, but who could blame me? I also don't like what I feel...I know that it isn't right...but I just can't help it. It's like finding someone whom you've been waiting for all your life...it's only the timing that's not right. :(
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@jillann (780)
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
I don't believe that long distance relationships actually work. I can't live with such a relationship but then it all depends on both parties. Depends on how strong their love for one another is. But still, it's not right to get in between a committed girl.
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@Mikaelo (191)
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
Exactly! That is why I want to fill the gap. Do you understand? I know that it's not easy but I really hope that I could fill the gap for her. Her boyfriend's away...and I'm sure that it affects her to be in that kind of relationship. I'm just hoping...and not forcing her. I'm still analyzing the consequences. You don't have to worry, I won't butt in like a hot potato. (^_^)
• United States
24 Jan 07
I dont think you should interfere in the relationship, if she is already in one, she needs to give you strong signals that she is interested in you, Then she needs to be brave enough to break off the relationship with her current bf. If she cant then she is not totally in to you.
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@Mikaelo (191)
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
Thanks for the advice. I know that I shouldn't interfere. But does it ever occur to you that there are somethings that you just can't stop. Something that you cannot hide, that you just have to let it out.
@shmeedia (1045)
• Canada
24 Jan 07
yes some things you cannot hide...because of that, it works both ways. so if she felt something for you, eventually you would be able to tell (using your theory of some things not being able to be hidden). since she has not shown any sort of feelings for you, you can assume (but never know for sure unless you ask) she is fine with her current boyfriend.
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@Mikaelo (191)
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
I am not in the position to assume things. And based from experience...guys tend to assume wrongly compared with women. (^_^)
@shtefcs (109)
• Serbia And Montenegro
27 Jan 07
YEs I am, and it is so interested. Secret relaitonship. in my Languaga has one song. Ima neka tajna veza, tajna veza za sve nas, ima neka tajna veza, tajna veza za sve nass.
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@Mikaelo (191)
• Philippines
28 Jan 07
Hmmm...I'd really appreciate it if you would kindly translate the song for me. Thanks.
@Gwapako_28 (2142)
• Philippines
27 Jan 07
Are they married?If not, you have all the chances to court her or to tell her how you feel.For me its okay to fall in love with someone who are taken but not yet married!God Bless...
@Mikaelo (191)
• Philippines
28 Jan 07
Amen to that...but if you were in my place, won't you feel guilty at all?
• Philippines
27 Jan 07
What i nice topic. Yes I also experience to be in that situation before. I also fall in love with a girl that still in a relationship. it's hard. i don't know what will i do on my feeling that time. Someone say that i tell her what i fell and some say don't. i choose to tell her what i feel and then things goes right. she broke up with her present boyfriend and accept my proposal. i didn't mean that you should follow what i did. anyway good luck to you my friend.
@Mikaelo (191)
• Philippines
28 Jan 07
Thanks bro...
@kristia (138)
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
you know what???just tell the girl how you feel... and ask her what she thinks... if the feeling is mutual... give her time...
1 person likes this
@Mikaelo (191)
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
That's easy for you to say... I believe that not all women are the same...What if someone tells you I love you and you know that he's in a relationship? What would you do?
@aelyus (635)
• Romania
24 Jan 07
No,but my best friend did that,and i can say that is really a bip problem.That person has already somebody to love,and in rare cases will let go that person for you!
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@Mikaelo (191)
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
Now that is plain stupid. If I were you I would not go for guys like that... If he could do that to others...what makes you so sure that he won't do it to you?
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
Hi Mikaelo. you should continue it as a friend. but you must wait for the right time or chance after there break up. First, you must recognize the possibilities that would happen if you hasten to court her with a boyfriend. you must control yourself first, after that follow the simple rules of courting. you will feel the condemnation inside your heart if you ruin their relationship. if you you opportunity to tell her, be kindly tell her how you feel about her. secondly, tell her that you're always open for some topics about her current relationship. don't mess up everything. lastly, if you really love her, tell her about your feelings. and you are willing to wait for the right moment to know her answer. just enjoy first what the blessings coming to your life. fate and destiny will crossed your attention and feelings, and all of a single tip of a hand, everything will come to order. as GOD make a way for your prayers. So i hope Mikaelo, this simple opinion of mine will help you a lot to decide and make some changes to your life toward your special girl. good day. God Bless.
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@Mikaelo (191)
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
One word would probably best describe what you just said... "KARMA" Thanks for the advice. (^_^)
@shmeedia (1045)
• Canada
24 Jan 07
sniff....i feel your pain :( this is a really hard situation to deal with. i think about this almost every night before i fall asleep. so many questions and what ifs, when in the end, there is probably no chance for me to be with the one person i truly want to be with. same for you and your girl. she is taken. her boyfriend is not nearby, still she hasn't shown interest in you...so is it safe to assume there's no hope. someone in your spot (as in mine) will keep thinking 'but what if i suggested it and she agreed!!!?'...there's always these questions that haunt us. one way to find out for sure is to suck up your pride and just tell her how you feel, acknowledging that she has this boyfriend, and all. if she then leaps on you and says 'i was just waiting for you to say that!' then, kudos to you. but more likely than not, she will just be awkward and hopefully be polite in telling you she isn't interested. it sucks, my friend, i know :(
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@Mikaelo (191)
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
I know that it's really hard to hide these emotions...but I'll try, one way or another to tell her. Not just now I guess.
• United Arab Emirates
24 Jan 07
I've been to that situation, all i can say is, Love can makes you happy but often it hurts, it will become special when you give it to someone who is really worth it.
@Mikaelo (191)
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
I totally agree. Add up this quote "If ever in this lifetime you forgot to say things you want to say, you'll have to wait for the next life. And that's the perfect time to say it... - Anonymous"
@victorwzj (539)
24 Jan 07
Yosh, you are in trouble don't cha. you need to ask you self several question. Is that guy is your good friend or something close to it?. if he is not your good friend then there is no harm. What do you think that about that guy? Does he a good person and does he deserve her?. Does the boy treat that girl nicely. if not then go for it dude. There are not easy way to see weather the feeling is mutual. The most straight forward way is to confess your love. or else you can talk bad about that guy and make them break up. Then when you comfort the girl and it make your move. p/s don't take my word seriously.
1 person likes this
@Mikaelo (191)
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
Actually, I don't know the guy and no, I haven't met him yet. And I don't care about the guy's info...hell he's too far away for me to trace his identity. I don't want to break any relationship. That's bad I know, all I want is a chance...
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
24 Jan 07
I have been attracted to one who was already taken although know better than to get involved. The ideal thing would be to talk openly with her. Maybe start with talking about her boyfriend and that about his absence. Ask her how she feels. Is she lonely? Tell her that you have feelings for her and that you are attracted to her and guage what you do by her response. Word of advice is to NOT make a move on a woman who is currently involved. Totally uncool. Show that you are not only atracted to her but that you care about her as well and respect her involvement with another. Fill in? No. "after they break up?" It sounds like you are privy to something not mentioned in your post. Or is this wishful thinking? In any case, I'd just wait. If she becomes single then ask her out on a date. :)
@Mikaelo (191)
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
You know, you made a lot of sense. And for that I give you the best reply for this discussion. But attraction is different from falling in love with the person. But I like the way you think bro, maybe I'll do what you said. For now, let's wait and see.
• India
24 Jan 07
i never fall in love with some one who is already engaged .or if i got to know that she is already in relation with some one ,then how can i breake that relation .i dont want to make a relation which is a cause of finishing other . Sorry if some one u love is alreay engaged and try to get your loved .Then, that person is completly flirting with u .Do remember it . When she will get another one ,she will also kick u .
1 person likes this
@Mikaelo (191)
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
I am not, I repeat, I am not praying or in any way wanting to do some actions to separate them. I know that it is bad. All I'm asking and waiting for is a chance... You would not easily understand since you haven't been in my situation.
• India
24 Jan 07
i dont think you can disturb her when she is already in reltionship, it is onway love now,unless she gives a positive signals you can not continue.
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@Mikaelo (191)
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
What if it's the opposite? Like what others said, what if she's the one waiting for me to do the first move...would you not regret it?
@runsgame (2034)
• India
24 Jan 07
some thing serious love matter. better be separated so that u will get a good response. all the best for nice reply/response
1 person likes this
@Mikaelo (191)
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
I'm just after other's opinions or advice. If their case is the same with mine...then they are more welcome to post in this discussion.
• Pakistan
24 Jan 07
Yes I have fall in such kind of relationship. I started loving a girl but she was already engaged with someone and she was happy too. I tried alot to make her mine but I failed.
1 person likes this
@Mikaelo (191)
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
Well, your case is different bro. The girl that I like I think (I'm not sure yet though) is happy with my company... I have to be careful though because I'm not sure if it would go to a higher level or it will remain just like that.
@alchemistrx (2570)
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
I think you should not interfere with their relationship because you might ruin it. I have to say that you have look for other girls instead of her.
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@Mikaelo (191)
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
Have you already been in my situation? If you could only feel what I feel right now, perhaps you'd understand... :(
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
In my own oppinion, just wait and do not make any move. Just be a nice friend to her at this. If there will come a time that they will break-up, then that is your chance.. ^_^
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@Mikaelo (191)
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
Easier said than done...I wish it was that easy... You know the feeling of something that you want so bad but it couldn't be yours? I hope that she'll be mine someday...let's just wait and see.
• India
24 Jan 07
you have to continue....
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@Mikaelo (191)
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
Thanks for the push...we'll wait and see what will happen next.