how hard to marry a seafarer?

Philippines
January 23, 2007 6:47am CST
I'm married for almost 12 years with my seafarer husband and for 12 years I still get lonenly everytime he leaves for work. I felt the other half of me dies. It's hard to marry a seafarer husband but if god is the center of your marriage no nautical miles can ever hinder your love. When I married him I said I do not only to him but also to the uniform he is wearing. That's why we live happily and conquer all circumstances along the way. How about you? how did you handle it? did you ever regret marrying him?
2 people like this
7 responses
@grayxenon (1307)
• Philippines
26 Jan 07
That's life, you can't have it all so they say, seafeares ar undoubtedly one of the hightest paid profession, you can have a well-secured finacial future because of the big earnings, but that price you pay is the time that he will be most of the time away from you. And in my personal opinion can't be replaced by money..It is a choice for you to make, a well-secured future or a uncertain future but with him most of the time.
1 person likes this
• China
26 Jan 07
i think so
1 person likes this
• Philippines
26 Jan 07
thanks, yeah that's true we can have it all in life and the best thing I learn it our married life is in able to enjoy it, treasure the things we did together and be content of what we have. Eventhough most of the time he is onboard he see to it that if he is on vacation with us he make a quality time together and that is priceless.
@shiela15 (286)
• Australia
26 Jan 07
my father is a seafarer. I am used to it that he wasn't there for my birthday, for christmas seasons and mom don't have a date during valentines day. I don't cry everytime he is leaving because i'm used to it since I was a child i think an age of 5. Sometimes, I can't understand his attitude. He become mandatory and he always wants us to do the task as perfect and immidiate as he wants. Maybe that's him in his work but he forgot that his with us and not in his work.
1 person likes this
@grayxenon (1307)
• Philippines
26 Jan 07
i understand your feelings, i had some friends you are in the same situition such as yours..It is really hard, and at time they don't even exactly know thier father, they treat him as a guest that everytime he is on vacation they are so anxious so make him leave as soon as possible.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
26 Jan 07
hi shiela! That's agony of bieng a seaman they hardly know thier family and they spent almost half of thier life onboard. maybe the best we can to make a healthy family with seafarer is that we just continue to love him and try to understand him and most of all talk with him about our feelings. cheers to us....
@sechsey (1836)
• Canada
8 Feb 07
I am not married to a seafarer but i understand how it feels to see your husband go away again and again. My husband currently works abroad while I am here in the Philippines for now. And everytime he is home, that two weeks is very precious. Im just forever happy whenever he is here. But when its time to say goodbye again, its hard. Its not something I will ever get used to nor something I can just shrug about. I do see him again every four months but I simply dont like goodbyes anymore. It hurts too much to see him leave, or wave goodbyes in the airport. I dont want to let go in all those times he gives me hugs and kisses when the plane was already scheduled for boarding. And the tears never stop no matter how many times this same scene happen again and again... Soon though, just a couple more months and one more plane departure and we will be together for good.:) Its never easy. Constant communication and chats and soem text here and there keeps us together despite the distance. A dash of hope and patience also quite helped.
• Philippines
8 Feb 07
I really hate goodbyes sechsey! that's why I dont want to see him leave and I really dont want to go with him on the airport during his flight, I can say I was never used to the situation even he was doing it for almost 8 years I think I can never be used to it all. We really have something in common sechsey! I really agree with you hope and patience really help and for me being faithful and devoted to him makes me more stronger. Thanks friend!
@mssnow (9493)
• United States
8 Feb 07
I love the pciture mari. Very pretty. I would miss my husband as well if he had to be gone from me. Thank God I dont have to worry about that. I'm sure you being apart from him makes your love grow stronger. Good luck to you :)
1 person likes this
• Philippines
8 Feb 07
Thanks mssnow. That picture was our beach reception picture and I really like that picture of us. I really love my husband and for 12 years I can say I was so strong enough for a distance relationship for if Love is true it will last forever. Thanks friend!
@g_aileen09 (1354)
• Philippines
8 Feb 07
A seafarer spends most of his life at sea. In 12 years of marriage, maybe it's only barely two years that you two were together. For when he comes home, he needs to attend trainings thus can be with you only at nighttime. But come to think of it... the agony you suffer for his being away from you may only be half of his agony. I am telling you this not because I am connected to a seafarer, but because I meet them everyday. They have lots of stories to share...good...bad... mostly bad. The most common one is unfaithfulness of their wives, or their wives being spendthrift... gone were the days that seafarers are known to have an affair in every country they dock on...because these days, medical repatriations are rampant that the shipowners are now strict on illness-related things. Don't worry. :) Just be patient. He is doing this sacrifice because he wanted to give the best for you and your kids...basic needs...and most importantly...education. You will get to have him in full, in due time.
• Philippines
8 Feb 07
Some of my husband friends onboard encounter those problems you've mentioned and I really dont know how those woman can ever do this to thier husband who was responsible enough to provide everything and very willing to work onboard just to provide them a better life. Thank you g_aileen for all the inspiring words.
• China
26 Jan 07
oh,that is a surprisse. how can you meet him
1 person likes this
• Philippines
26 Jan 07
hi davis! My husband and I went to same school in college he is is also in the naval reserve force which I joined also and there it started all. He started as my Upper class officer, then we became friends and ended in a blossoming love and marriage.
@worthy (2413)
• India
8 Feb 07
I am not married yet.I am happy that you and your husband love each other so much.I think that is why you can face the tempory distance with a smile on your face and hope and love in your heart.
• Philippines
8 Feb 07
True Love binds two heart no matter how far they are with each other and that made me really strong to face the temporary distance. Thanks worthy!