im hurting my mom!!! all moms,please help me stop it!!

Philippines
January 24, 2007 9:27pm CST
help me. i had a fight with my mom over a very small thing. but since my pride was hurt. i began to ignore her and never talked to her. i know im wrong and i hurt her so much. but then,,, i just cant say sorry. and my siblings an other friends kept on telling me that mom dont deserve that treatment, and i must look in the good things she have done for me. and not on a single bad thing which is actually my fault. but my pride is on the way. and i just cant swallow it... sorry really seems to be the hardest word!!!! help me... what will i do??
15 people like this
88 responses
@mansha (6301)
• India
25 Jan 07
Please read this and tell me is your pride bigger then the love for your mom: IF I KNEW If I knew it would be the last time, That I'd see you fall asleep, I would tuck you in more tightly and pray the Lord, your soul to keep. If I knew it would be the last time that I see you walk out the door, I would give you a hug and kiss and call you back for one more. If I knew it would be the last time I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise, I would video tape each action and word, so I could play them back day after day. If I knew it would be the last time, I could spare an extra minute to stop and say "I love you," instead of assuming you would KNOW I do. If I knew it would be the last time I would be there to share your day, Well I'm sure you'll have so many more, so I can let just this one slip away. For surely there's always tomorrow to make up for an oversight, and we always get a second chance to make everything just right. There will always be another day to say "I love you," And certainly there's another chance to say our "Anything I can do?" But just in case I might be wrong, and today is all I get, I'd like to say how much I love you and I hope we never forget. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, young or old alike, And today may be the last chance you get to hold your loved one tight. So if you're waiting for tomorrow, why not do it today? For if tomorrow never comes, you'll surely regret the day, That you didn't take that extra time for a smile, a hug, or a kiss and you were too busy to grant someone, what turned out to be their one last wish. So hold your loved ones close today, and whisper in their ear, Tell them how much you love them and that you'll always hold them dear Take time to say "I'm sorry," "Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay." And if tomorrow never comes, you'll have no regrets about today. I have lost both my parents and I will tell you moms do not expect ypu to say sorry just go and hug her, she will forgive you. You can never be a bad person for her, you are herown blood, she can never hate you, mom's love is always unconditional.
1 person likes this
25 Jan 07
love the poem its really lovely
• United States
25 Jan 07
your poem say's it all, a mothers love is unconditional
@vbcoder (196)
• Philippines
25 Jan 07
very true, the love of your mother to you cannot be compared. you should realize this before it is too late.
• United States
25 Jan 07
Swallow your pride and talk to her again. From personal experience, I know somebody who did that...and then something bad happen to her Mom. You should see how sorry she was and she can turn back time, she will do otherwise. We only have 1 mother and we have to think that they took care of us right from the start and we owe our life to them.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Jan 07
Well said ladymoostone!
1 person likes this
@sizzle3000 (3040)
• United States
25 Jan 07
I am sorry that you and your mom are having problems. It is always harder to tell a loved one that you are sorry than someone who is just a friend. Your mom is only doing what she feels is best for you. Your mom loves you more that you will know and would do anything in her power to keep you safe and happy. Talk to her explain how you feel but you need to let her know that you love her. When you have your own children you will understand her point of view much better. I too thought my mother was sufficating me and treating me unfair but then I had a duaghter of my own. I raised her stricked as well. I hope some day she too will relize just how much I love her. The best thing for everyone is for you to talk to her and get back your mom before it is too late. Some times too much time can go by and then it is too late.
1 person likes this
@arvee17 (730)
• Philippines
25 Jan 07
Stop being a stubborn kid... Does your mom deserve that harsh treatment from you??? Did she in any way maltreated you to put her in such misery? I am sorry for my words but i'm also a daughter and a mom... I know the sacrifices our parents gave us just to put us where we are... but now a days most young people ignore their parents simply because they know they can live without them because their parents are finish sending them in school and that they can get money on their own... It is like an insult to most parents when their children ignore them and what more is that the children expect that their parents do the first move.... Just a question... where would you be without the love and support of your mom??? Pride should never apply if you know you are wrong... STOP BERATING YOURSELF! I know you might get hurt for my words and i think you are kind of person who don't accept critcism that easily but i am just being honest about how i feel... but still i wanna tell you that what you are doing to your mom is totally wrong... what if by tomorrow, your mom is gone? would your pride matter? you don't have to say sorry if you don't want too. a simple hug and a kiss will suffice... she is not even expecting it from you... give her a chocolate or flowers and that would make her day...
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Jan 07
Im 15 i know how you feel just talk to ehr tell her your really sorry bring out tears if ya gotta u know just do nething to make her feel better and make your self feel better also
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11750)
• United States
25 Jan 07
What would you feel like if tommorow your mother was gone. You never forgave her and she left this world with things the way they are. Life is hard and you have to take them one day at a time. Call your mother and tell her that you would like to start having a relationship with her again. Don't say the words, I'm sorry. If it was such a small thing, she will be happy with just seeing and talking with you. Being with the ones you love is way more important than anything. Make the first move and go with it. Just make peace with her before you regret it.
1 person likes this
@hellfire (187)
• India
25 Jan 07
thats really bad... sincerely wishing that there was something i could do for you, but you are the one who should make your decisions.. you should only do what you feel is right, no matter what others say.. so go ahead and make your choice....
1 person likes this
@jimotman (633)
• Indonesia
25 Jan 07
actually, you already know what to do. I know your heart tells you that you should make up and say sorry to your mother. I have a child, and I can tell that you mom must be feeling very sad that you're ignoring her. do you know how much it hurts when your mom gave birth to you? do you know how much she suffers when you were a baby and she must take good care of you? I know because I've seen my wife did all that. even if you do all the nicest things in the world for her, it will never pay her back for what she has done for you. and now you're ignoring her just because your pride is hurt of something wrong that you did? just say sorry to her and make up with her and you will be very relieved. please do that before it's too late and you'll feel bad forever.
1 person likes this
@jenl68 (1)
• United States
25 Jan 07
Sorry is a very hard word and I myself have alot of pride and have a hard time saying it. Sometimes it is not necessary. Go to your mom and just start up a conversaton. Moms are usually pretty understanding about their children and will recognize this attempt to reconcile without the justification of an I'm sorry. Maybe doing something special for her to show her that you love her and appreciate her would also be appropriate. Whatever you do, do not stay mad at your mother, you only get one and if something were to happen to her you would be devastated that you never made amends.
1 person likes this
@MzLefty (311)
• United States
25 Jan 07
It would appear to me that you are a bit selfish,there is no way on God's green earth that I could ever disrespect my mother in such a way.she gave you life,and this is how you repay her?The bible says honor thy mother and thou far,for if not,your days will be numbered.I have a friend that was very very mean to his dad,even after everything that he had done for him,he cursed him out,and everything else that you can think of,now the son is blind,and who is it that he needs to take care of him? his father, the same person that he mistreated,now has to be the one to lead him around in life.that is your mother,you only have one,you need to fix this situation,and you need to do it asap.and God forbid if something happens to your mom,and you never had the chance to say that you were sorry,you would never forgive yourself.fix this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• United States
25 Jan 07
Honey You are right that is the hardest word to say, evan for us adults, but two wrongs dont make a right and if you were wrong and you know it ignoring it wont make it go away. I tell my kids if they cant say it outloud write it in a note and like that your communication skills will get better.No matter how you tell her you are sorry she will appreciate it. Its a sign of growing up Good luck
1 person likes this
@tigrashadow (1086)
• Australia
25 Jan 07
we only get one mum, and we often have fights and problems with our parents. you really need to get over your pride and make peace with your mum as you will regret it deeply if you dont. if you find it hard to say it to her face to face, i suggest writing her a letter and posting it to her. She really doesnt deserve this if she really did nothing wrong and as the previous poster said, if something happened to her, you will regret it. sorry is the hardest word but the best received. please dont let something small come between what can be one of the best relationships you can have. as we get older we often have better relationships with our parents...dont lose that because of your pride.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Jan 07
I have a somewhat similar situation, nut in the end she will always be you mother. We have had so many arguments in the past years, but when it comes down to it you only get one mother. I lost my father so that makes me apprecitate her even more.
@Rahleah (187)
• United States
25 Jan 07
That's a great point I forgot to bring out. Once you've lost one of your parents, the other becomes so much more precious. And all the petty fights really seem ridiculous when you think about a time that you will no longer have that person in your life.
@hellboi (663)
• Philippines
25 Jan 07
well, your pride is building a wall between you and your mom and it's getting thicker and higher as you allow it to be. strike down that wall and let down your pride. hug your mom and say how sorry you are for hurting your feelings. just be brave and face your mom. don't let your pride get in the way of love. let love pervail, you can do it!
@dmajkc (196)
• United States
25 Jan 07
It's your mother you are talking about. Make amends with her. By doing this you will show your maturity and your mother will perhaps see you in a new way. Plus, it's your mother. I know they can be a pain, but without her, you wouldn't be here
@jhoanee (598)
• Philippines
26 Jan 07
i know its hard to ask forgiveness to somebody you hurt specially if u really mean it. it just didnt come out in your mouth. but if u really cant say that then let it show thru your actions. try to give her a smile, be with her when shes around for sure she will notice you and mother had a strong instinct specially if it concerns their kids. dont let the opportunity pass, life is too short u have to make the most of it. for sure your mother was waiting for you. you should be the one making action coz u said its your fault and besides she is your mom for sure she will understand and accept you. and one things for sure too she LOVES you, you came from her womb...
• India
26 Jan 07
Hi Jane.. Dont worry you can say sorry to your mom and I gurantee you she wil forgive you whatever may be the reason for which you had fight with your mom.. Let me know what had happened Nxt.......
@malsun (1528)
• United States
26 Jan 07
if you feel sayin sorry is the hardest, then just go and hug her and in that moment say sorry. your pride is not worth it janecarmel. moms are too precious.
@winter18 (19)
• Philippines
26 Jan 07
Parents can never ignore or hurt their children. I just realized that when I became a mother also. My mom and I always clash, even up to now, but my Mom is kind enough to understand me, as if she's already immune to this situation. Eventhough we have this situation, she's the one who keeps saying that she knows that I love her inspite of my attitude. But of course, we talk. Take one step at a time and make efforts to start a conversation.
• Jamaica
26 Jan 07
You really want to make amends as soon as possible. This is best for everybody involved. Your siblings and friends are right, your mom doed not deserve that treatment. You are hurting her more than you know, trust me. I am not a mom, but I know. I have seen this so many times. Your mom loves you, and she will never try to hurt you. Even if she doesn't agree with you, or doesn't seem to be on your side at the time, she really just have your best interest at heart. Imagine how you would feel if you had a child that ignored you, and refused to talk to you. I am sure you have had an argument with a friend that resulted in you not being on speaking terms for a while. Remember how that feels? Well what your mom is feeling is 10 times worst. Just say you're sorry. You will feel better too, believe me. Unforgiveness and anger hurts the person who is holding on to it more than the person it is directed at. Set yourself and your mother free. Forgive her, apologise to her, and tell her you love her too. You will grow even closer.
• Philippines
26 Jan 07
truly, saying sorry is the hardest thing that anyone can do but it is the most rewarding actions to stabilize your inner self and in the eyes of our creator.The thing is maybe you never heard your mom saying sorry to her siblings whenever she did wrong to anyone in the family, that is why it is too difficult for you but it doesnt mean to say that you disrespect her.You need alot of prayers and before you notice it,you already in good terms with your mom.looking forward for that day to come