The Pain Of Being Disowned

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After an early child hood of abuse my Aunt "adopted" me when i was 13. After an abusive first marriage She took me and my three small kids in again bout us a house, gave me a car to drive and payed for my college tuition along with giving me a 1500 dollar "allowance". When I met my current husband of 9 yrs now in a chat room and through deciet went to meet him,she found out about it and called me a lousy mother for going nd disowned me. It has been 10 yrs since I have been able to realy talk to that side of the family and my biological father had given me a phone call when I was 8 stating that he no longer loved me so that side has been cut off a much longer time. I tried to apologize to my aunt for my part in the deception of meeting my current husband but I recieved a letter soon afte stating our time with you was more bad than good we prefer to keep things the way they are. It was heart breaking. They kept contact with my children but even that has died down and thre isn't really a reason for it. I now have no family other than my husband and my cildren to claim. The pain seems fresh when I am asked for family references and I have to put none. I was invited to my cousins wedding a few years back and I went but I felt like an outsider to the people that were supposed to be the closest to me. I was then asked to another wedding on that side but coudn't bring myself to go it was just too painful. The one I miss the most is my grandmother and I have heard through others that she wants me to contact her but I am afraid to I can't deal with another rejection If this is untrue. Has anyone else been thru this and what did you do to cope with the pain of losing an entire family and not being able to make things right?