To Leave...or Not To Leave..????

@Mamaof2 (574)
Canada
January 25, 2007 5:04pm CST
ok, so your in a marriage of 4 years...been together for 12. Your not happy, really do not feel anything for your "other" and want to leave. Only problem is, you know you cant do it alone. You need them finacially, you need the support of his family ect... What do you do? Is leaving worth all the trouble? Or do you just put your happiness a side and basically suck it up? I know your happiness is the most important thing...I realize that this is what you all are going to say BUT. Without him I cant provide for my children (which is the most important thing) I have no one to watch my children when I do have to work, I have no where to go with my kids let alone the means to get a place... BLAH BLAH...the list goes on and on really. What would u do?
1 person likes this
3 responses
@biwasaki (1745)
• United States
25 Jan 07
If you are really that unhappy, then you should leave. How can you make your children happy if you are unhappy? You should look into programs that may help you pay for childcare while you have to work, rent, and other necessities. Ask him to pitch in and help you watch the children, they are his after all. It will be hard in the beginning, but if you are truly unhappy then it will be best for you in the long run to leave now. Good luck!!
@Mamaof2 (574)
• Canada
25 Jan 07
Well, that is what has passed this time so quickly. I spend 100% of my time and effort towards the children as I dont ever want them to sense that Mommy is not happy. If it had to do with any sort of abuse..I would not think twice about leaving as these children are the most important part of my life. I think that I just keep thinking that as long as I provide the best life for my children...than nothing else matters. I love this Man more than anything...but feel nothing anymore..If that makes sense? Prob not...lol Anyways, thank u so much for your advice. I guess it just takes...getting up and actually leaving...not sitting here and thinking about all the neg that comes along with it. Thanks again :)
@biwasaki (1745)
• United States
25 Jan 07
Well, loving someone and being in love with them are two totally different things. Are the lines of communication open between you and your husband? Maybe you could talk about the way you are feeling and see if there are alternatives you could take, rather than just "up and leave". Good luck with whatever you decide!!
@Mamaof2 (574)
• Canada
25 Jan 07
I think that if the communication was there on both parts I wouldn't be in this situation. That is part of the problem. I talk, I tell him over and over... and he says Nothing...I guess that just comes along with maturity and taking things seriously. I dont know tho... :S Anyways, thanks a bunch :)
@adidas7878 (2013)
• United States
31 Jan 07
my friend was in the position as you couple of years ago, she would call me and complaint about it all the time, and she finally decide to leave, but the kids stay with the dad. if you arent ready to leave the kids to the dad. what happend to your family cant they help you at all in anyway? what about the goverment, is there anything they can do? check into that.
@Mamaof2 (574)
• Canada
31 Jan 07
I am so independent I dont see going to my family as an option. I dont like to ask them for anything even tho I know they would do what they could to help! As for leaving the kids...NO WAY IN HELL would I leave the kids to their father. Nothing at all wrong with him, he is a wonderful father...but these children are my life..and without them I would have no purpose. Not to mention financially he is a no better position then I to provide for them. I actually make more than him...working part time :) The Goverment is an option I guess if I really needed it...but even then, they make things so difficult. I really dont want to leave..what I really want if for things to work out. We got together when I was 16, had our first child at 18, got married at 23 ect. This man has been my life for my hole life kinda thing...BUT..If I had a choice it would be to resolve everything between us...get rid of all these hard feelings ect... But this has been an issue for years and doesn't seem to be going any where... :S Which is so frustrating....grrrr..lol
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Feb 07
maybe you and him should find sometime and sit down and have a heart to heart talk and take it from there see how it go, if things dont work than, i am afarid leaving is the only opinion, i know it is not the best. so i pray things will work out for you two, sit down and have that talk.
@7nicole1 (1634)
• Canada
25 Jan 07
Well your right many of us are going to say get out. It will be hard at first your right but when my mom did it she felt so much better in the long run about everything and even herself. I understand you think you need him to help provide and your probably right it is easier but its not worth it. Eventually everyone in the household will be miserable. I wish you all the luck in whatever decision you make.
@Mamaof2 (574)
• Canada
25 Jan 07
Yes, my mother packed us up when we were children and left my father. Altho that was the hardest, most uncertian thing she has done...she was happy in the long run..and we were too! Thanks for the advice :)