What makes a good and lasting marriage?

United States
January 29, 2007 3:09pm CST
What do you think makes a marriage last and why? I think it is being best friends with your spouse. All answers will be rated, thanks.
1 person likes this
15 responses
• Indonesia
29 Jan 07
Best marriage comes from a two persons who are willingly all the time compromise and ignore their own ego. A marriage would last long, when they both realized that they should respect each other, and work things out together through trials of their marriage. They support each other, and they stick to their commitment when they first got married.
• United States
29 Jan 07
Thank you for your response.
@nelltx (277)
• United States
29 Jan 07
I think that trust & mutual respect are the biggest factors in a relationship. Love is wonderful, but there is a lot of people that mistake lust for love. My hubby & I have been married over 14 years, and I know that he loves me, but most of all he trusts me & respects my thoughts, dreams & wishes. We discuss finances, children, just about everything. Neither of us go off and do things without discussing it with the other. If you can't talk to your partner, your relationship won't last.
• United States
29 Jan 07
I've been married over 12 years but lived together for almost 17 years. I agree with you totally. We, too, discuss everything and I can count on him for everything.
• United States
29 Jan 07
I think a lot of things makes a marriage last and one of those things is deciding before you get married that you'll never get a divorce is one of the most important things. No matter what happens we're staying together so that they only chance to get out of a marriage is to never get into one! After that I think a husband must love his wife as Christ loved the church and that he must live with her in an understanding manner. I think that a wife must respect her husband and his role as the leader in the marriage. My wife is my best friend and we spend a lot of time laughing and enjoying each other and we both strive for excellence in our marriage.
• United States
29 Jan 07
Sounds like you have a great marriage.
• United States
29 Jan 07
We have an excellent marriage and we look forward to spending the rest of our lives together! Thanks for your kind words.
• Philippines
31 Jan 07
For me the following makes a good and lasting marriage: 1. Acceptance - accepting your partner for who she / he is 2. Making God the center of the relationship 3. Putting your partner's concern first
• United States
31 Jan 07
Thanks for your response.
• Australia
31 Jan 07
For me, there's no secrets between us, we are each other's best mates because we see one another all the time, and most importantly, we have to sort out all differences before going to bed. its important not to go to bed being grumpy with one another. u never know when one of youse will never wake up the next day. and of course heaps of 'i love you-s' throughout the day :)
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Jan 07
Thanks for your response.
• United States
30 Jan 07
For me, the most important thing is trust. If there is no lingering doubts about one's partner, then that means there is respect. The rest, like friendship, will just follow. Trust is very important because this will make you see the importance of the other person in your life even when the passion is gone and beauty (which I believe is skin-deep) has waned.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Jan 07
Very good thought, thank you.
@mommyaiai (295)
• United States
30 Jan 07
For me,you should have trust to each other.In that way you can have a peaceful mind to make a good and lasting marriage and you should also understand your partner.Be open to your partner,if you have a problem share it to your partner in that way you can solve it together.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Jan 07
Thanks for your response.
• Canada
29 Jan 07
Compromise, compromise, compromise. And never going to bed angry. Those are the 4 most important things in a marriage. Also, the ability to talk about your problems.. and be willing to work on anything. Even best friends have issues with each other, but what makes it a lasting friendship, or a failed friendship is the ability to recognise when something is your fault and work on it for the betterment of your relationship.
• United States
29 Jan 07
I agree with not going to bed angry. Thanks for your response.
• Philippines
29 Jan 07
To make a good and lasting marriage is to accept the differences that you have. I am here to fill in the shortcomings of my partner and vice versa. I believe that you do not only marry a person because they are your friend or you compliment each other but because you have found the one that would make you complete no matter what. Marriage is like a giant crystal ball that the husband and wife holds dear in their hands, once one of them lets go of the hold,the other would support the weight on their own until the partner reaches out for their hand to carry it again. Its a mix of sacrifice,give and take,understanding,a dash of quarrels and making up that makes a relationship lasting...
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Jan 07
Very thoughtful and different answer, thank you.
@GEORGiQ (115)
• Romania
29 Jan 07
Jack Daniels!
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Jan 07
Very inventive but I don't think it works. What happens when it wears off?
@Netsbridge (3242)
• United States
29 Jan 07
Love (you love each other to be married), trust (you must trust each other to remain together) and respect (you must respect each other to keep things moving on).
• United States
29 Jan 07
That's a good way of looking at it. Thanks.
@jillypy (15)
• United States
29 Jan 07
The #1 issue you have to be on the same page is trust. I always said my marriage is great because I married my best friend.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Jan 07
Good for you!!
@hmbw_24 (407)
• United States
29 Jan 07
Im not sure. All i know is that my husband and i have been married for 8 years now. We are not what you would call best friends but more like companions who can put up with each other. There is a saying "familiarity breeds contempt" and it can be so true so you just have to be commited to working together and working thru things and working out problems, even agreeing to disagree cause there are plenty of times that you just are not gonna feel the same way about things.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Jan 07
I also believe you need to be committed to working together. I have known too many people who just don't want to work at the marriage and think they can just sail along. Of course, all of them divorced.
@listen2me (511)
• United States
29 Jan 07
i think first would be trust, and long after, tolerance of the person you've married, an everlasting love almost unconditional, you know and being best friends surely.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Jan 07
Thanks for your response. Just wondering what you mean by almost unconditional love? Are there any conditions you would put on your love?
• India
29 Jan 07
If you treat your spouse as a friend, and you both have a good understanding between each other...And the best thing is trust..
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Jan 07
Thanks for your response.