Why am I so PISSED!

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lately i was starting to get c0nfused wid wut kind of feelings i hav ayt now? i cant explain,but maybe i have fallen for another guy *shitness* dis feelings makes me sick!!! but am just always telling 2 myself dut dis feelings cud also ease easily,,,dis feelings myt destiny's game,it was an unexpected feeling i never dremt of,,,but destiny make it happen!!! it was 5 years ago wen i met dis guy.. he became my friend,closefriend,bestfriend... he was also a former boyfriend of my friend,well i must admit that i was attracted to him already b4.,but i never expect that my feelings cud be dis serious,,,bkz we lost our used communication bkz b4 we used to talk on the phone till the break of dawn!!! *funny thing* is that my mom used to wake me up everytime dis guy is calling,'morning,afternoon,midnight!!!" we never expect we could have each other as special persons in our life ryt now!!!as in we never imagined ourselves being together in the same dream!!!this feelings myt wrong but,it just happends!!!well since then our communication is only in phone calls but we share alot of things,we myt not know each other everything but i am ready to knw everything..*funny* ryt??? as of now were,"i" am already contented of what are havin'ryt now... we go out,talk,give time to each other,i think we will always have this way.... bkz we hv r own priorities 1st,and hahaha....nothing!!! i just want to blame everything to myself!!!i am not a play girl!!!but the thing is i have fallen........ i think me,myself cnt control dis feeling,although i know we will alwys be just this way...i want to 4get dis feelings but i also want him,"dis" feelings to stay as a "spcial person", duts why i am really confused.....haiiizzzzzz..... well whatever happends!!! i just proved to myself and to YOU.. dut destiny cud make POSSIBLE everything in this world... i feel so blue!!!! confused...... confused......... confused .........