5 Stages of Joining an Excellent Online Dating Service, Like Filipino FF..
January 31, 2007 12:04am CST
Online dating is no longer the exception to the rule. It’s now the norm for people to meet potential partners online and to have lasting relationships with one-time cyber buddies. But for those who haven't tried online dating, or who have tried it without success, there can be some understandable apprehension about joining a site. The online dating journey may be likened to the Five Stages of Dating. These five stages can be reached at different points by men and women alike, mirroring the different expectations that men and women have about dating in general. No matter how one goes about online dating, the fact remains that each stage is necessary, and the order in which they are reached is important to create a happy and successful relationship… with your chosen online dating service, like Filipino FF. ATTRACTION This new online dating service you’ve joined, looks like the right one for you. Your curiosity is giving you a good vibe. All the people you’ve looked up are gorgeous and they seem to be right up your alley as far as personality and interests. The site seems to really know just what you need and want in a dating service. You’re getting acquainted with the online dating service you’ve chosen. Chances are good that you’re addicted to the newness of it and are exploring at every opportunity—you’re meeting new people and learning more about yourself in the process. This is a healthy and exciting stage that can be likened to the initial attraction two people feel at the start of a relationship. Enjoy the ride. UNCERTAINTY OK, it’s been a few weeks. You’ve had responses to the online dating profile you posted, but the people aren’t exactly what you were hoping for. You’re starting to doubt whether to stick with this new relationship with your online dating service. Perhaps your friends’ reactions to your online dating haven’t exactly been what you were hoping for; maybe you’re feeling uncomfortable about your choice to attempt this kind of dating after all; or you could have made contact with a real jerk online and now want to ditch the whole service as a result. Now is the time to realize this uncertainty is healthy. In fact, it’s necessary and doesn’t automatically mean there are problems. The uncertainty stage of a relationship can be easily misinterpreted as a karmic road block at the beginning of the journey, instead of just a speed bump that needs to be navigated. These moments of feeling antsy and unsure about your choice are important. At this point it’s OK to step back for a moment and reevaluate your decision to join an online dating service, but don’t be too hasty or throw your hands up and walk away. EXCLUSIVITY You’ve officially decided to stick with your chosen online dating service. You’re not hmming and hawing between two different sites. You know this is the one that’s right for you and you’re sticking with it. Unfortunately, this may also be the point where you get a little lazy about your part of the relationship. It’s important to not get too comfortable and expect good responses to come your way without a little effort on your part. Continually update your online dating profile—post new pictures, or add a few things about yourself. Change it up a bit and keep the relationship spicy. INTIMACY When you reach the intimacy stage with your online dating service, you have come to a turning point. Trust has been established between you and this leap of faith you chose to take. You’ve had a few decent dates and a few bombs with people you’ve met through this service, but still no lifelong partner. That’s OK. You know that you have to take the good with the bad. And you never know who’s around the next email. The bottom line is you’ve taken off your mask and become fully intimate with your online dating service. They know what you need and you’re not afraid to ask honestly for something you need but that they may not be giving you. They understand your quirks and you’re accepting of any technical difficulties that may happen along the way. ENGAGEMENT When you have reached the final stage of joining an online dating service you do one of two things: 1) celebrate the great opportunities you’ve been afforded through this venture and hold on to the relationship, or 2) feel the whole adventure has been a waste of time and cut off the relationship completely. What Filipino FF hopes is the only time you cut ties with them is because you’ve found the love of your life. It’s important to remember that at any point in the 5 stages of online dating the relationship can end. Too much eagerness or uncertainty at the wrong stages and the relationship is likely to go bust. You must trust your online dating service, not expect too much too soon, and walk cautiously where too many bells and whistles may abound.