making the breakt from a controlling mother

January 31, 2007 9:05am CST
I know she loves me but I wish she wasn't always quite so hands on. How can I escape her clutches and still stay in loving touch?
1 person likes this
2 responses
@cream97 (29169)
• United States
20 Jun 10
Hi, chellicks. Maybe you should just move out into your own home, if she is controlling. Take care of yourself and let her see that you are able to hold things down on your own. I hope that she will understand. Are you the only child?
@cicisnana (776)
• United States
20 Jun 10
No responses to this question?? I am shocked! What areas are you having problems with your mother controlling? I can tell you my daughter and I have had the same problem. My daughter had her children at a very young age, 17 and 19, she really wasn't ready for them. The daughter she left in my total care for 22 month! For 8 of those months she wasn't even around and living 150 miles away. When she moved back in she still did very little and I was still the main care giver. I don't think she ever put the baby to bed or gave her a bath. She would change an occasional diaper. As long as it was poopie. With my grandson she started coming to her parenting abilities a little quicker (probably because "daddy" was there to help, most of the time, the only time he wasn't was while college was in). But, she still expected me as the one who got up in the middle of the night. It was me who gave him his baths and tended to him while she slept. Even while I was getting up all night with the baby, she was the one who slept in until 10!! Than when she would wake up I would ask, yes, ask, if I could go nap and she'd say "Well, I wanted to get on the computer and see if Derek (the baby's dad) has emailed." So I would have the baby yet again. She'd come down, "Can I nap now?" "I'm fixing to mop the floor." She would use house cleaning as a way to keep me taking care of the baby, although her house cleaning was half as3ed.... So, of course I became very very attached to these children. She took to where she was ready to move out of my house and it killed me to have to let these children go. And when she did move out I would call, many times a day, to check on the children and ask her to bring them to me. She said I was trying to control her life with her children. It took me awhile, and I probably was, but I didn't mean to be. It was just I had taken care of those kids so long that it was hard to let them go. We are starting to get along better...but we still have a long way to go, as I feel like she ripped my heart out.