10 things you dont want to hear during surgery
January 31, 2007 1:25pm CST
1 Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough. 2 Nurse, did this patient sign the organs donation card? 3 Damn! Page 84 of the manual is missing! 4 Everybody stand back! I lost a contact lens! 5 Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie 6 Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy. 7 "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness" 8 Whoa, wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that? 9 "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, he's got two of 'em 10 What do you mean "You want a divorce?"_________________
7 Feb 07
What's the difference between an insurance company actuary and a mafia actuary? An insurance company actuary can tell you how many people will die this year, a mafia actuary can name them. An actuary and a farmer were traveling by train. When they passed a flock of sheep in a meadow, the actuary said, "There are 1,248 sheep out there." The farmer replied, "Amazing. By chance, I know the owner, and the figure is absolutely correct. How did you count them so quickly?" The actuary answered, "Easy, I just counted the number of legs and divided by four."