My Twins Were Seperated at school -

@jade01 (803)
Australia
January 31, 2007 7:30pm CST
ok so yesterday was the first day back at school and to my shock they have seperated the twins. They are so upset, Annique bursted into tears today when i droped them off because she wants her sister, its so sad. I spoke to the school about this and they still wont put them into the same class. What do I do? I hate seeing my girls so upset and i am worried about how this may affect them.
3 people like this
9 responses
@maenad (46)
• United States
1 Feb 07
not knowing how old they are, I still have to say that this is something that has to happen. They need to be separated at some point, so they can learn to be independent. The school may have a policy about twins in class (I remember the issue at my school was that the twins always wanted to work together, and not with other people). They have the rest of the day at home to be together. Remind them that it is part of the day and not the whole of the day. I'm a twin myself, but my brother has autism, so we were usually separated. We went through elementary school just as inclusion was started and we didn't even go to the same school for a long time. I'm still one of the few people he lets touch him, and we have a very close relationship.
2 people like this
@jade01 (803)
• Australia
1 Feb 07
Sorry, they are only 6 years old and they have never been seperated. they usually sit at oppisite ends of the class, they are bith very independent kids but they dont function unless they can see each other and know that there twin is ok
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@maenad (46)
• United States
2 Feb 07
Sounds like it is a school policy then. But help them get together -- do they each lunch in the same cafeteria at the same time? The same recess?
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@jade01 (803)
• Australia
2 Feb 07
they do spend lunch together, but when it comes time to go back to class they cry and the teachers cant settle them down, and then they end up calling me to go to the school and help settle them and thats what i do. and at the same time i am supposed to have complete bed rest as i am going through threatened miscarriage. but what do i do they need me right now and its my duty to be there for them.
1 person likes this
@XxAngelxX (2832)
• Canada
1 Feb 07
When my two youngest started school (the are eleven months apart and due to where their birthdays fall, they started together) the school wanted to separate them. I went to the school and demanded (and cried) they put them in the same class. The principle didn't want to do it at first (I think my crying persuaded her, or she just wanted to get the crazy lady out of her office, lol)but they did in the end relent. I only cared for grade primary as it was a new situation for them and they have been together for as long as they can remember. After primary they were separated but it didn't bother them as they were use to it. If I were you, I'd go right back to the school and demand they be put in the same class. If this doesn't work, contact the school board.
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@jade01 (803)
• Australia
1 Feb 07
Thankyou so much for your support, wish me luck.
1 person likes this
@jade01 (803)
• Australia
2 Feb 07
hi again, just thought i would let you know that the twins school is now considering putting them back together, they want a 2 week trial first.
1 person likes this
@ronita34 (3923)
• Canada
6 Feb 07
That i awesome that they are considering to put them back together after a two week trial!! I know that your twins will prove that they can work together and it will all be ok! I think that demanding to have them put together is fair also! What harm could two young twin girls really get into? They need each others support with childhood is what it is above all. The school system jumps too fast into assuming that siblings will just cause problems together!!
• United States
2 Feb 07
They are not "twins" they are two separate individuals who happen to look alike and share a birthday. It is more important for their development that they learn to be their own person rather than one half of a set of twins. I notice you only mention one girl is upset. It is more important for the less dominant one to get away from the dominant one as soon as possible in order to fully deveop her personality. It's painful at first, but it will all work out.
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@jade01 (803)
• Australia
2 Feb 07
I know better then anyone else that my twins are individuals, 9 out of 10 times i am the only one that sees that, however i dont think you understand the bond that the girls share. they have there own seperate friends, do activities withoue there multiple- they dont depend on each other for that sort of stuff and thats great but they do over stress when they cant see eachother and know thet the other is ok. I have read studdies into seperating twins at school and my girls already do all the pros to it and now the cons are starting to affect my girls and one is loosing her confidence and that cant be good.
• United States
1 Feb 07
Yea i have twin lil brothers they are 12 they where separated in like the 4th grade but they where boys so hey really could care less i never had the problem but i kno how they feel wen i was in the 5th grade my bst frined was named jade and she was like my sister and my parents took me out of the school and i was like we stoped talkin alot and then we just stoped talkkn at all and wen i was 12 i moved away from my home town so that was hard on me i havent talked to her ever since
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Feb 07
I can see your conflict with this, as it is so difficult to see our children upset, but I think this will give them a chance to grow as individuals, while still having each other to count on. They can make friends outside of the home and not become so dependant on each other. This could also bring them even closer together than they already are, causing them to value the time they do get to spend together.
1 person likes this
@crystal8577 (1470)
• United States
1 Feb 07
I do not have twins, but my sisters are identical twins. They were not seperated in school until they went to high school. They are 20 & college freshman. They still live at home & share a room. They spend 99% of their time together. They love each other but fight a lot. They wish they would have had the chance to be apart in school & get to be their own person. This is hard on your girls now, but it may be a good thing for them. It will help them adjust & learn to function on their own.
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@Shaun72 (15968)
• Palatka, Florida
11 Mar 07
Aw that is sad it looks like for the first year that they would keep them in the same class in school espically at such a young age.
• United States
7 Feb 07
My boys started out in the same class when they were 3 1/2. In Montessori schools the kids stay in the same class for 3 years with the same teacher. I thought from 3-6 they could be with the same teacher then when they were in 1st grade they could be placed in different classes. Two weeks into their schooling the teacher calls me and tells me she has a really "boy heavy class" and she thought it would be better if the boys were in different classes. I bawled. The boys were 3 months premature, I am also a teacher, and felt they should be together. I told the school I would only agree to the seperation if I could pick the boy to leave the room and pick the teacher that the other was going to. Because I had done my Montessori training I knew almost all the teachers and respected some more than others. The teacher who was the whole reason I became a teacher taught in the school and I said if Gus could have her I would agree. Dagan was much more suited personality wise to the first teacher and was very attached to her and the IA. Dagan came to me crying saying, "Gussy get lost without me." It broke my heart but we did it on a trial basis. In hindsight, it was truly the best thing we could have done. I made giant pictures of each of the boys and other family memebers and placed them on card stock so they could always have a picture to look at. At lunch time they would bust out of their lines and run over and give each other a huge hug. It was the high light of much of the staff's day! It was adorable. I have always been happy in my classes to accept twins but have never had parents who wanted it. They may be upset at first, but they may find themselves and have much more to come back and talk about to each other after school. I feel your pain, I have been there and we came out on the other side beautifully!! Good luck!
@ronita34 (3923)
• Canada
6 Feb 07
Awwwww...I am so sorry about this situation and it does seem some what unfair as they are used to having eachother around! I think that the best thing to do is to talk to them and ask them to at least give it a try! If they are still miserable then you might want to try talking to the principal again and if that does not work than maybe think about transfering them to another school where they can be in the same class! Good luck and God Bless!