Are there times when you have to contradict your spouse's decision?

@manong05 (5030)
Philippines
February 1, 2007 7:02pm CST
When I visit friends homes, sometimes I find couple arguing. The wife already said "no" to what the children are asking for then the children will run to their dad, and the dad says "Ok, you can have them" How will you handle a situation like this?
4 responses
@hellboi (664)
• Philippines
2 Feb 07
yeah i lot of times we do this when we were kids and i've also observed a lot of couples with differing ideas especially on what their kids should have. but fortunately for my parents they do differ in ideas on petty things like should i have candy or not, should go out and play or not. cases like that i also found out that the other usually does not press on what he or she means to say, and would easily give in to the other's wishes. although the mom says you can't go out but the dad says it's fine, she just let's the kid go out or it may be the other way around and the dad would not press on. but on bigger issues, i guess it is best that the dad and the mom would agree on themselves first before putting up with their kid or else their line of defense would be breached and fall down easily. say for example on disciplinary sanctions, it would not be as effective if mom and dad don't agree on it.
@manong05 (5030)
• Philippines
2 Feb 07
I agree. It's not good for the children too. They are the ones who are most affected in situations like this.
@jep_toyo (1607)
• Philippines
2 Feb 07
I dont have my own family yet but i think its natural that you and your partner will not agree to certain things. I usually dont agree with someone especially when i know that his/her decision is not right but i still let that person do what he/she wants after giving that person an advice.
@manong05 (5030)
• Philippines
2 Feb 07
yes, but in the context of a family and child rearing, couples should agree.
@ktroth (378)
• United States
2 Feb 07
Kids are constantly trying to play their parents against each other. When one of my kids asks my husband for something, he will say "did you ask your Mom? What did she say?" and I will do the same if they come to me. That way we can stick to whatever answer the other one gave first. But you have to discipline yourself to remember to ask what the other parent said. Parenting is a partnership and it won't work well if one parent is undermining the other's authority.
@manong05 (5030)
• Philippines
2 Feb 07
I agree with you completely. Yes parenting is a partnership, nicely worded.
@LittleMel (14059)
• Canada
2 Feb 07
yes, pet wise. many times. he doesn't want more pets, I do. he doesn't believe in superstitions, I can hardly avoid it. he doesn't like eating soup, I keep cooking it for him LOL
@manong05 (5030)
• Philippines
2 Feb 07
you are one of a kind. lol, I like that.