The couple on the bike

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When u travel in a car, and are not at the wheel, you land up having a lot of time to do a lot of things. For one, you land up reading all the advertising hoardings…aloud for the benefit of those driving(almost driving them crazy)! Then ofcourse you play the eternal role of watchdog..."Watch out for the bus!" "Careful the bike is too close to you" "It's Red...stop! stop! stop!.....almost as if the car couldnt be navigated without you! Then, when you have been severely chastised for back seat driving(sitting in the front) you start observing the way people are seated on their two wheelers. Couples in particular have their own ways and means of sitting on the 2 feet by 10 inches seat. After careful observation and much deliberation I can safely say that the couple(s) on the bike can be classified as follows: The Leech: This is normally the couple who look like they have been stuck together and have become one with each other. The age group for this type of people varies between 18 and 24. Seated astride, the girl bites the ear of the rider even as she murmurs sweet nothings. (Reminds you of a famous brand advt. doesnt it?)The hands from behind go round the male in the front in a vicious death like grip….no escaping this one!! What is also noticeable is the way the brakes are applied with alarming regularity. Guess it has something to do with the head-on collision…er…head did I say???(Shall leave it for the imagination to decipher what exactly collide!) The Snail: The newly married come under this category. Everything is one sweet snail pace for them. No hurry to get back home to the maddening crowd. They have their nth honeymoon on the bike. They cootchie coo, drive well on the left hand side of the road…allow the world to pass them by…. giggle and laugh and generally have fun! The girl’s arms snake round her husbands trim waist….it is a show of ownership…of acceptance…of defiance…of ‘I am now married to him..so what can you do’ ..attitude. The Kangaroo: Children are found at every possible nook and corner of the seating arrangement. The perch on the petrol tank, they hang from the lap, they get sandwiched flat between the parents, some even manage to hang on their dear lives on the edge of the seat or on the carriage!! Babes in arms dangle freely from their mother’s grips, their tiny feet and arms bobbing up and down on every bump and speed breaker. The faces of the parents are next to grim now…….she for having to put up with this kind of tortured travel and he for wondering when did the transition take place forcing him to become a transportation officer. The Crab: A good fifteen years after marriage…….with children not sandwiched the hand now lies on the thigh of the rider…..the paunch occupies too much space and the arms can go round no more! The lady has not only been cooking up food…she has also partaken of the generous spread that has made them grow together in size as well!! The weight of the body acts as a balance and the bike sails on like a ship with a strong anchor! The hand on the lap is now a sure sign that they have been married for more than a while now. The pillion rider knows how to balance with ease. The lady behind is no longer stuck nor astride but instead is perpendicular to the rider! The rider knows what pot hole to avoid and how to cross the speed breaker. Also by now the rider no longer rides straight. He does a crab like imitation and goes sideways slides around and generally disappears!! The Hermit: 40 years and going strong…….in the marriage I mean. Physically the man is just about able to kick start after a while. The lady waits patiently. Once the bike is on, she asks for confirmation before seating her self. Never know when the two of them are likely to lose balance! He then plods on oblivious to the blaring horns, the snide remarks, the traffic lights. The bike moves and they go places. Now the driving is done more from behind than the front. “Watch out for the approaching car!” “You are too close to the bus.” “Why are you inching your way????” “You just drove through the red light!” “Are you sure you are feeling OK??” “ I told you……….” Sigh!! Like I said it is more fun watching the world go by!!