Family Vacation Disputes

Tweet

Is there a time when kids should be able to exclude themselves from family vacations? When my girls were teens, one of them definitely did not want to go. We tried to get her input on the vacation destination, but she just thought she was too old to be stuck with her younger sisters on a family vacation, and would rather stay home and hang out with friends. She kept pointing out that she was almost 16 and practically grown. We forced her to go anyway and ended up with a sullen teen who sat and read a book the whole time, speaking only when spoken to, and in a barely civil manner. As a result, the rest of the family was stuck with the pall she cast over the trip. We had little discussions with her, made threats, etc. but she was determined not to enjoy the vacation and not to let anyone else enjoy it either. The next year, we rented a campsite with electricity where she could take her little portable sewing machine along and she spent her time sewing a new outfit for herself so things were improved, but she still made it clear to us that she was there against her will. What have some of you done in similar situations? Have you allowed them to stay home, or with a relative? How has it worked out? Or should parents just say, "You are part of this family, and the WHOLE family is going on vacation. Period." I feel like kids grow and up and leave too quickly anyway, so I hate to let them start the process early. A week or ten days of togetherness once a year doesn't seem like too much to ask.