falling in love with my ex-professor

Philippines
February 6, 2007 6:13am CST
i am really absolutely clueless with this situation i am in right now. but i can't just blurt it out to people because, as the title of the discussion states, i am currently dating a person who used to be my professor. but before you say "Ewww" or "Yuck", let me just clarify that the guy I am dating is just 5 years my senior. So he's quite young for his profession. I am quite old to be a college student. And as we speak now, I am no longer his student. Lately we have been hanging out. I feel that connection with him that is so rare to find in a person. I just know that we have something special going but the situation is really so controversial and I am afraid of what I am doing. I do not want other people to think that I am using him to get good grades with his colleagues or something. I just genuinely enjoy his company. We do enjoy talking to each other. And he really pampers me like a princess, treats me like a lady in the truest sense of the word. I like to keep things in wraps until I graduate from college. Maybe that's when it's most appropriate to date him. But what should I do now? Should I keep hanging out with him? What do you think?
1 person likes this
8 responses
• Romania
11 Feb 07
I think you should probably keep hanging out with him, but other people or classmates shouldn't know that he is your boyfriend.You should wait till you graduate, then you can tell all the people about your relationship.I hope this helps you.
• Philippines
28 Feb 07
this is what i'd like to do if it were a pure heart's decision but it's really difficult and risky. thanks for this input radukugalati. i really need to weigh my options and see which is most important for me...
@CTHanum (8254)
• Malaysia
31 May 11
It is okay if everyone know the relationship. They can't do nothing for it. If we did hide it from anyone they will feel strange too when they know the real stories but if you still can hide it then go on ~
@smints8985 (1595)
• United States
8 Feb 07
Yes there is definitely nothing yuck about that. I used to have a lot of crushes on our professors, and yes they are between 5 to 14 years my senior. One of them I am somewhat close to, like we do text each other. He even text me during wee hours when he gets drunk.. haha.. he's special.. I think what you have is pretty much normal, you got to know each other more in school, just like classmates do but the only thing is he was a professor and you were his student. There really is nothing because you're not his student anymore right now, but then because of the student-teacher relationship thing I think it'll be given extra attention if people knew you were together. Anyways, just follow your heart. If you think you should wait after you finish college to continue what you have and if you honestly believe that then would be the proper time then go with it. Good luck!
• Philippines
28 Feb 07
hi smints8985, that's really sweet knowing that you have experienced the same thing. actually i am really worried about the extra attention people would be inclined to give our dating relationship. some of my professors do know and tease him everyday in their office. but it's worse with students who may find out about it.
@CTHanum (8254)
• Malaysia
31 May 11
It is better if someone got crushed with their teacher they both need to respect others as well. You may go on with your relationship and make sure it will not make others feel wrong with both of you. Just make it professional when you are in school compound and that will be fine.
@swatha (47)
• United States
7 Feb 07
Ask him to marry you.You both are loving each other.He is doing a job job(Professor).and u completed your degree.and u both like each other.If u marry him u will be happy.Marriage is the solution.
• Philippines
28 Feb 07
hi swatha. this is so funny! i liked your answer so much. but i don't think i am ready for that sort of thing yet. but i would like him to do the asking in the future. i think he does have future plans and i think he is slowly including me in it... which is really the exciting part of the uncertainty and glamour associated with love. thanks for posting back.
@ipanks (892)
• Indonesia
7 Feb 07
i think its natural when you feeling like that.and if you really like him so what's the point that you stop your hanging out with him?i suggestion you don't have do that.if you feeling enjoy then carry on.i think in the some other time you will get the answer on how should you do keep hanging out with him.i hope you understand of what i am tell you.
• Philippines
28 Feb 07
hi ipanks! it's been a few weeks since i posted this. i hope you get to read my response. this is exactly what i have been doing the past few weeks and i honestly enjoy it. i don't know for how long i could keep doing it though. thanks.
@ygkchaitu (388)
• India
7 Feb 07
You can do so till you are comfortable with it but if you see yourself with some career then give importance to studies think of a situation when you too separate in the long run..if u r not good at your career then you might find difficult to survive. So better concentrate on ur career. there is always greater part of life to enjoy.
• Philippines
28 Feb 07
hi ygkchaitu! i am finding it more difficult to separate with him as time goes by. but i do acknowledge this point of view and i intend to make a compromise of sorts which will be the best solution for my current dilemma. thanks for bringing up the matter of career in my priorities.
• United States
6 Feb 07
I don't think it's gross or anything like that - even if he were 20 or 30 years your senior, as long as you're both consenting adults and you like easch other, who cares what the difference is? In terms of whether you should wait until graduation to formally start dating, it might be a good idea, but why don't you ask him? What are the rules that he has to abide by to keep his job? I'm sure you don't want to get him fired. But if it's not against the rules, and you aren't using him for good grades (which I'm sure you're not) then I say go for it, and good luck to you both.
• Philippines
6 Feb 07
hi iftheresaway! Thanks so much for answering my question. Thing is, I am not really sure if it is still not allowed even if I am no longer his student. I might ask him about it because we have been going out since November last year. And he did tell me plans about resigning in the near future to pursue higher education in another country but that's still a plan and not something concrete. It just makes me uneasy dating him this way, but I guess on the up side, it motivates me to study well to graduate quickly. LOLZ. =P
@CTHanum (8254)
• Malaysia
31 May 11
Yes you may continue your relationship and it is to you if you want to keep it as a secret or show it to others. Since you were no longer his student you don't have to afraid that you are dating with him.
• Philippines
23 Sep 08
There's nothing wrong if you date your ex-professor. Anyway your not his student anymore so why afraid of dating him? We can fall in love to anybody. We can't teach who to fall for. We can't decide for our heart to beat. What I mean is eventhough he's old or young, your teacher or a priest then we can't do anything if he's the one our heart chooses to love.