Joke of the day
February 7, 2007 2:00pm CST
after na blind date, a man propses marriage to the woman he has just met. Surprised, the woman say,"but we don't know anything about each other." It is all right," the man assures her." we will kearn as we go along." so the woman consents, the tow are married and they go on a honeymoon to a fancy resort. one morning, the two are lying by the pool when the husband gets up climbs up the 10-meter board and does a tow and a half tuck gainer, entering the water with barel a ripple. this dive followed by three roations in the jackknife position before he again straightens out and cuts into the water like a knife. when the man comes back to his wife, she cries in excitement, " that was incredible!" " i used to be an olympic diving champion," the husband says." you see, i told you we'd learn about each other as we went along." with that, the wife dives into the pool and starts doing laps. she moves so fast that it seems as if she's a hydroplane, barely touching the water. After about 30 laps, completed in mere minutes, the wife climbs out and lies down on her towel, not even breathing hard. "that is amazing!" the husband cries. " were you an olympic swimmer?" "no," she says. " i was a hooker in Venice and I worked both sides of the canal."
9 Feb 07
A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job. The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks "What do two plus two equal?" The mathematician replies "Four." The interviewer asks "Four, exactly?" The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says "Yes, four, exactly." Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The accountant says "On average, four - give or take ten percent, but on average, four." Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says "What do you want it to equal?" Man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. Tells the shepherd, "I will bet you $100 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock." The shepherd thinks it over; it's a big flock so he takes the bet. "973," says the man. The shepherd is astonished, because that is exactly right. Says "OK, I'm a man of my word, take an animal." Man picks one up and begins to walk away. "Wait," cries the shepherd, "Let me have a chance to get even. Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation." Man says sure. "You are an economist for a government think tank," says the shepherd. "Amazing!" responds the man, "You are exactly right! But tell me, how did you deduce that?" "Well," says the shepherd, "put down my dog and I will tell you."