the heartache of adoption

wow, u have adopted and are being supportive of my decision to revoke the affidavit of reliqushment. i am very surprised and appreciative, most adoptive parents are resentful to birthmoms like me. was your adoption open or closed, and what states did u deal with? i know in tx there is no grace period, but we have 30 days to appeal the termination of our parental rights, but we have to prove "duress" or "overreaching". its gonna be a hard case to win, but even if i cannot get my little girl back (which ill never stop trying), i am making an effort to change the laws in texas to allow a grace period, or at least to require that the agencies provide counseling to make sure that the parents are in their right mind and that this is what they really want to do. i kept telling them that this was not what i wanted to do and i was in tears during the whole process, but they said that it would be selfish of me to keep her, and that i needed to think of what was best for her- not what i wanted.

Thanks for your reply. Sorry it has taken so long to get back. I went to court on November 15th and the adoption agency got on the witness stand and lied about everything. they said that I came in demanding that they take my baby, that my husband and i didnt want her anymore, that they offered counseling and i refused it. I was so hurt that day- i could not believe that i had entrusted these horrible people with my precious little angel. Needless to say we lost our case. We could take it to the appeallate courts, but that could take years to win, and i do not want to rip her from her home as she will come to know it by that time. The adoptive parents are awesome people though. we hot to choose them so we are lucky. they send pictures twice a month so far, and even sent us a christmas package for our older daughter who is now 15 months old. i am hoping that things will continue to stay this open even after the adoption gets finalized. I can only pray that my story doesnt turn into one of those horror stories abt adoptions getting finalized and the adoptive families disappearing without a trace.

I'm so sorry about the outcome...it is so rare that the natural parents don't get the baby back. I hope your adoption stays open and, in the meantime, if there is no gag order warn everyone you know about this agency...especially if they think that they night place their child through them. Word of mouth will hurt them. And, if they lied, then others need to know how unscrupulous they are. Take care!

wow, i didn't realize that total strangers could be so supportive. I just hired an attorney this Friday. (my sister is paying and she was taking her time, which i feel we really do not have. :( apparently, they already terminated my rights on 10-6, but my attny says he thinks we have a fair shot at this since we were obviously under so much duress and the agency was so unprofessional about things. It makes me so angry because they made money off of our pain....this should not be legal. I wish they would have agreed to just give me my baby back, but the agency wont even talk to me. and the F***ed up part about it, while the adoptive parents were still in town, we were supposed to be getting together so i could see Dezyr- thats her name, before they went home to Idaho. Well, the agency advised them not to talk to me or let me see her since i had already consulted with an attorney, so when i went on saturday morning - yesterday, to give them a letter at their hotel pleading with them to let me see her before they left, they had already checked out. I called the agency right away and they affirmed that the couple had already gone back to idaho- with my baby. that was just cold. thanks for the advice. i'll check out that link right now, and yes- the papers were signed by 2 witnesses and a notary...but i have found a couple of flaws with the affidavits, so i am hoping that if all else fails, my attny wiill be able to get them thrown out since they do not have everyhting that the tx family code says it MUST have....

thnks- i need it!