how to change his mind!!

United States
February 10, 2007 4:59pm CST
My husand has never saw his real dad things were bad between his mother and this man they were never married she has two kids by the same man truely I think she told them stuff that wasn't true he real dad's family has told me things after we married she ahs told me stuff herself my thing is should he go on throught life and never meet this man we know where he lives we go to his brothers house but My husnad refuse to meet him at all says he hates him well how does he know if he hates him he has never talk to him was told to my husband that his father said he wasn't his and the other child was that is here say we don't none know what was said but him and my mother-in -law so what do I do I think he should at lest speak to this man tell him fine if he doesn't want to be his father but he can't say he isn't my husband looks just like him or should I just keep my mouth closed and stay out of it give me so kind of feed back I don't know what esle to do....I just don't want this old man to die he is sick and my husband come up years later and say I wish I had talk to him.....
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1 response
• United States
11 Feb 07
The best you can do is to redirect his thinking. To try to change his mind is not going to work. He has a lot of years where his mom had control to tell him things about his dad. Depending on whether she was bitter or not would depend on what kind of things she told him about his dad. If he has never met his dad there is no logical reason for him to hate him. At the best he could say he has no feelings for him. I think there is a lot more in play here than meets the eye. Is his dad a person who drinks a lot or abused his kids. These are questions I would want the answers to. I do think his dad needs to be given the benefit of the doubt. He will regret it if he doesn't at least give his dad a chance. Once his dad passes away he will have no opportunity to find out what went on between his mom and dad when he was younger. There are two sides to every story and he has heard only one side.