Eating disorder, are you suffering also?

United States
February 11, 2007 4:46pm CST
I know someone who is suffering from eating disorder. She is now 27 years old. A year before she got married she weighs 127lbs. She is now 2 years married and now weighs 96lbs. I know she's having problems with her husband. But i also know that she is using these problems as an excuse to her eating disorder. I remember how people complimented her how she eats a lot and still look sexy. Little did we know that she is a bulimic person. One of our friends say that she is suffering from glutony, and we all just laughed about it. The truth was, she eats a lot and throws up in the bathroom. After a year of doing this and being bulimic, she doesn't even have to put fingers in her mouth to throw up, she eventually become anorexic. what can we do to help? what should be her husband's approach to her? what are the first step? what can we do to help and how do we start especially when she denies being anorexic?
6 responses
• United States
20 Feb 10
Stop saying "you look great" and start saying "you're getting waaay to skinny" or "you're beginning to scare me/us/people you lok almost sickly" I know that sounds harsh but "you look great" or "you're thin enough already" are actually subconcios phsycological encorragements for her behavior. No one really means for that, but even though you have the best intentions, it could be doing more harm than good. She probably doesn't realize the psycological impact either. If you tell her she is looking sickly or things like that it will hopefully alter the behavior.
@kym123 (8)
• China
20 Aug 09
actually, i found myself got this problem. i cannot control myself when eating. at first i loved to release my pressure through eating. then i found myself got lost in eating. you know its really struggling. i know i am full, but i just cannot stop eating. i want to lose weight,but how can i get it if i keep eating so much?! i feel hopeless. i cried, lost, hoping someday i can get rid of it.
• Romania
9 Apr 09
Firstly, eating disorders are about secrecy. Of course she will deny she is suffering from anorexia. Did you know that anorexia has the highest mortality rate among eating disorders (which are medically considered a psychiatric disease, not a lifestyle). I feel sorry for her. One can also not eat a lot and still purge. I classify as bulimic too. I have about 200 calories a day (solid food) which i mostly vomit. I can't stand the thought of food moving in my stomach. I am very happy when i fast. Purging can be very damaging. It leaves me with a sore throat and dehydrated. To be honest, i have no idea what can u do for her. The main point is that she has to want to get help, and start recover. Forcing her will not help at all!
11 Feb 09
I have an eating disorder. And I know that ANOREXIA CAN BE THROWING UP. It's not just restricting, there is such a thing called a binge and purge anorexic. But Don't go there. I am not anorexic. Came close. BUT I am trying to get better now. You shouldn't laugh about it, when she has a serious condition, I would find that extremely upestting if I told someone and they just laughed. Imagine how you would like it, if someone laughed about you crying ever night over the toilet. Tell her you are there for her when she needs to talk, just suggest that you think she may have an eating disorder. Bulimia and anorexia are serious diseases, life threatning ones. You look it up. She could die like that. I find it very worrying that people take eating disorders so lightly these days. I am 16, and fighting mine very hard. Try to get her to go to your local doctor. To be put up for therapy. CBT for me worked like a charm. She needs to understand that there are a lot more important things in life than being thin. Another book, I will suggest helped me come to terms with mine was Life with ED by Jenni Schaefer. It's amazingly reccomened. Good luck with your friend. But please do not laugh at her. She must be in so much pain. She's just trying to deal with things. That's what an eating disorder is. I hope I helped. Hannah x
• Canada
15 Mar 08
For starters throwing up is NEVER anorexia. Anorexia is when you severly restrict your intake of calories and food. Just because she can throw up without her fingers does not make her anorexic it makes her severly bulimic. As to your problem about how to approach her I suggest starting gently, tell her youve noticed how much weight she's lost and ask her if she's ok. If she wants help then she will tell you. If she denies it then there really is not much you can do. You could perhaps stage an intervention, or if worse comes to worst then you cna take her to court and argue for someone else to be in charge of her health decisions.
• United States
22 Feb 08
Denial isn't the same thing as ignorance. She knows she has an eating disorder, she can't possibly not know that, but she can be in denial of it. It isn't uncommon for people with eating disorders to deny it and have strings of excuses, exaggerations, explanations, and outright lies at times to try to get others off their back and not be pushed into treatment. Unfortunately, there isn't much you can do. Recovering form an ED is mostly a mental process, and and unwilling person will not recover. They may gain weight either from being tubefed against their will or they may deliberately gain the weight to get people to leave them alone. But if the person hasn't decided in themselves that they want to deal with the isses and make an effort to change their habits, they won't have recovered, and will only be looking for the next opportunity to lose the weight again. I would say just be available as a friend and make sure she know that, don't be pushy. When she comes to the point of wanting to get out of the trap of her ED, make sure she can reach out to you if she wants to.