Would you allow you bf/gf to be friends with his /her ex?

Philippines
February 15, 2007 1:06am CST
Me... Im a jealous type of person... most of the time I dont tolerate communication with x... how about you?
5 people like this
20 responses
@ydnac22 (804)
• Philippines
28 Mar 07
Yes im a jealous type.I never allow my bf to have comm with their x specially if i dont trust the girl.
@daryljane (3439)
• Philippines
25 Mar 07
me too..i dont like that idea also..
24 Feb 07
I'm not terribly happy about my partner hearing from his ex due to distance being the only factor that caused them to split up. However, I wouldn't dream of insisting that he cuts off all contact with her. If the roles were reversed and I wanted to communicate with my ex, I'd be furious if he tried telling me whom I could or could not speak to. I feel it's important to treat people the way you would like to be treated yourself.
@slavezero (835)
• Philippines
23 Feb 07
definitely NO... just like you im a jealous type of person. i don't like and i don't want my gf to still have a communication with her past bf(s). i know some people will think that i lack trust to my partner but let me put it this way "i trust my partner but i don't trust her x bf"
• Philippines
21 Feb 07
I don't want to look like bad in doing so but I honestly dont want my girl to have an active communication with her ex's... I also set limitation to myself in doing the other way to be fair... In the case that I dont love that much my girl, its just ok.. who cares lolz!
@speqter (132)
• Philippines
21 Feb 07
I'm not the jealous type, but I know that allowing your gf to go out with her ex is just plain stupididity. I know a guy who allowede her gf to go out with her ex just for one cup of coffee. After that, they broke up, and the girl left him for her ex.
@Myrrdin (3601)
• Canada
21 Feb 07
You don't tolerate communication with the ex? Well that seems ill advised to say the least. I don't control my SO, ever, and she doesn't control me. I know I will have as little contact with my future ex as possible, but there will have to be contact we have a daughter together so there can be no way for us not to communicate at all. Jealousy is just another way of saying you don't trust the person, if you trusted them what do you have to worry about, if your trust is misplaced then ex or just some random person they could still cheat on you.
@nicolec (2674)
• United States
20 Feb 07
"allow" is a strong word. Can you really tell them to stop being friends. A friend is a friend and I try not to interfere unless I suspect something shady. My current b/f is friends with the mother of his child. Even though I feel she gets more attention then me, for the sake of the child, i have to "allow" the friendship. I really have no say in it. i did put up a big fuss when he slept at her house one night (for more details see my discussion 'he tells me it's none of my business') That caused a big fight but he assured me that he fell asleep on the couch and nothing happened. I too am a jealous person and it's hard to trust your other when you are. BUt sometimes the situation calls for it.
@ma_belle (1358)
• United States
16 Feb 07
i'm like you have the same type of issue with my boyfriend. he has a friend who is an ex, and ideally I wouldn't have an issue with it. however, from the first time I met her, she was rude, short and disrespectful to me. she demands his attention when we're all together and I basically don't trust her. therefore, I don't want my boyfriend hanging out with her, pretty much because she is rude and unfriendly with me. in anyother situation, i would be ok with it, but in this one I'm definitely not. it may sound irrational, but i have my reasons.
@cheenlly (3485)
• Philippines
15 Feb 07
since the time i was cheated i hardly trust now. although i trust my boyfriend now i dont give it 100%. Its one thing i learned from the past. if their friends its ok but beyond that talking or seeing each other i dont think i will tolerate that and i am really an honest person i would really tell my boyfriend that im jealous so he will know and he can adjust.
• Philippines
15 Feb 07
it only happened to me early this morning when i saw them together.. i give a lot of trust to my loved one.. maybe that's why its only fine with me whenever they're talking with their ex.. but then.. they shouldn't let me know that.. coz if they will.. i will really get jealous on that.. hahaha..
@vangie79 (198)
• Philippines
15 Feb 07
I get jealous when i heard that my bf talked to his ex but i trust him and i am secured that he loves me very much...
• Philippines
15 Feb 07
no. i dont allow my guy to be friends with his x especially with the last one because the girl is a flirt. but with regards with the others its alright with me because i see and feel that everything is all left in the past and i know that it wont make any problems.
• Germany
15 Feb 07
I trust my girlfriend so I don't mind it if she talks a bit with her ex. He's now just a friend of her not more and I trust her. If I wouldn't know that I can trust her I wouldn't allow her to be friendly with him.
• India
15 Feb 07
Relationships cannot be just broken and thrown to dust bin. They stay with us even after we have decided to physicaly live apart and stay away from each other. Parting would have happened due to certain mis-understandings. The good in the other person which would have impressed us when we were in friendly terms remain with us for the rest of our life. So it is not correct to object to any communications with your Ex. Jealousy thy name is woman. It is typical of a woman to feel jealous and it requires a lot of balance of thought to overcome such a feeling and tolerate the relationship of your partner with his/her ex.
@SageMother (2277)
• United States
15 Feb 07
I really don't think it something to be "allowed". When you mett a person and getting to know them you should discover what theri friendships are as a matter of course. If they have a friend that is objectionable because its based on their once being a couple, then I would think the relationship would not get to be bf/gf. When in a relationship that has the potential to be more than a platonic friendship, it is wise to remember what your personal limits are and honor them. I preventa alot of misery. It also makes no sense to enter a bf/gf relationship and then start trying to change who the other person's friends are.
@Lifeless (2638)
• India
15 Feb 07
Can't Stand that... - Intolerable...
Same here. Even i won't allow my mate to hav conversation with her ex or any other guy. If she does that, it kinda heats up my a**, and my bloody head just blows off!!!
@stibigirl (291)
• United States
15 Feb 07
After 11 years, 5 of those years married, I would have no reason to worry about such a thing. If I was not secure in myself and my relationship I might not be able to stand her face, but as it is she is married now and my husband and hers are really good friends. I guess it would all depend on your situation and how you were with your own security.
@Sissygrl (10999)
• Canada
15 Feb 07
I used to be the same as you, but my hubby has a son with his ex. At first it was really weird and awkward, but she's engaged we're married, and her and i are friends. she was in my wedding and my daughter will be the flower girl in her wedding.
@lonewolfnan (4367)
• Canada
15 Feb 07
I have great faith and trust in my relationship with my g/f of 7 years and do not worry when she goes out with friends or old flames.We communicate quite well so as to keep the air clean and our feelings shared(did I actually type this??).