Why do we ignore or forget the old one's?

Old man selling in Sighisoara - An old gypsy that sold items made by him in the city of Sighisoara.
@Profetu (1253)
Romania
February 15, 2007 11:58am CST
Didn't they gave birth to us?Why our modern society don't allow them to exist arround us anymore?In past they would have represent the "elders" , the advice that you'd go to, the person who has been through life and knows some things better than me, you and all of us?I am starting to appreciate most of them because in a way "they" need us and we need them.Don't lock them up in an retirement (i saw that in some countries that's the "solution" for them: yeah great...like today i'm locking up mom because she's...old and needs attention) and forget them there.They are stil human beings, why do we don't pay enough attention to them?Everywhere you will see discussions about youth problems but what about the old one's?(Ehmm out of curiosity...do you like the picture that i've made?)
5 people like this
20 responses
@maryannemax (12176)
• Sweden
16 Feb 07
actually, it hurts me when i see old people having no place to stay but the streets. i just wish i could do something for all of them. i look at them and feel sad. how could their sons and daughters just leave them there and not care at all? i also see old people doing their groceries on their own. they even carry too heavy loads on their way home. i know they are not alone since some of them buy baby foods or baby milk for someone. they do this things for other people even they hardly have a hard time walking? i just hope that someone is there to accompany them or carry the loads for them. society has changed a lot. and i am glad to know that there are still people who love old school. be there for their parents until the end.
1 person likes this
@maryannemax (12176)
• Sweden
16 Feb 07
as i may add, i feel bad to those children who put their parents in nursing homes because they feel like parents when old are already a burden to them. but if in case they need to do it for their parents' sakes, atleast they should find time to visit them regularly and make them feel loved and remembered.
1 person likes this
@Profetu (1253)
• Romania
16 Feb 07
When i can i help for example carring stuff etc.It did happen for me to get a little missunderstood and confused with a mugger but it didn't bothered me...i just tryied to explain and if they were reticent i left them lone.
• United States
15 Feb 07
as one of the old and almost ignored i thank you for this posting from the bottom of my hear i wish every one would read it (especialy my own children )
1 person likes this
@Profetu (1253)
• Romania
15 Feb 07
i thank you for your kind words posted here and i am very glad that this kind of site can allow a "connection" between generations.It's a shame that the young (i'm 23) people do that and in our present day we are just...ignorant,selfish and well...add vanity to that.
@maryannemax (12176)
• Sweden
16 Feb 07
ignored? why so? i hope your kids will find time to be with you and give you the attention you deserve. most kids in this generation have changed for the worst. but there are still those who remained loving and caring to the old ones. i just hope that there are more caring children than those forgetful ones.
@mayshoe (606)
• India
17 Feb 07
old is gold........and everybody gets old.......only thing is time which is long for someone who hates old.......and short of time for those who help or respect old ........i would say life gives a slap on the face of persons who dont respect elders...........in their old age.......i respect elder people and i live with my father who is 79.......and respect him and once gave a warning to my elder brother who disrespected him ........i visit elderly people also in an old age home and would like to start one.........for the children and old........child for education and elders for experience......i hope i will achieve my goal.......
@Profetu (1253)
• Romania
17 Feb 07
i really hope that this kind of attitude and mentallity will "spread" more into our world.I;ve seen here very positive attitude regarding my topic.That's encouraging for me...not to say for the old people (who we will become...maybe even remembering writing about on it here on mylot)
@sithlord (167)
• India
16 Feb 07
the reason ppl dont give any importance to the old anymore is simple...dey dont care anymore..modern man..had become more selfish dan before..he cares only for himself..his life..and his family..etc...whereas when it comes to old ppl dey just dont have da patience ...society thinks they are a nuisance cause dey have old ideals are stubborn refuse to do wat the doctor says...but still there are a few old ppl who keep themselves healthy and strong and still live a good life...but still man thinks that he is greater and knoes beder...dat is why we tend to ignore and forget the old ones...and ur picture correctly describes it..even an old man has to earn his living now which is a shame...he worked hard all his life and now he still has to work to survive..
@Profetu (1253)
• Romania
16 Feb 07
I guess it's a society "flaw" but this thing scares me.There are actually no boudries we will grow old eventually.What then?Are we going to be as "stubborn" and "old-fashion" like the old people from out times?And most of all i really don't want to end up in an retirement home after providing a home and a life for my own kids.
• Australia
15 Feb 07
I think that it comes down to time and money. Many familys have both partners working and they dont have the time or the money to do it, they probably think that it is better for the oldies to be around people their own age, with constant care and the medical facilities that they need. Retirement homes are like child care for the oldies, everything that they should need to live a relatively good life, the only thing missing is their children. Most people that put their oldies into retirement homes do so because they believe that they are doing the best for them. There would be very few that do it just coz they dont want to look after them.
@Profetu (1253)
• Romania
17 Feb 07
Time and money...that's NOT a valid thing.There use to be a time (WW1 and WW2...that's world war) that i think tooked away EVERYBODY's time and money so it doesn't stand out.they've been through war...some never returned (a LOT actually) some did....who did return managed to get to all their problems and still had time to raise and educate us.Most of us are in a way educated by that.....but we just forget to do that to the next generation i suppose.
@Lardiel (280)
• Romania
20 Feb 07
i think that's because they kind of scare us. it's something that we are going to become and we don't like the sight. or in some cases might be the fact that we don't want to take care of them in their time of need, like they did for us when we were kids.
@krishkorp (427)
• India
16 Feb 07
i feel they should be respected,but most of the times the love and respect is never delivered to them ,which usually starts with the shortage of time and then it consolidates to something like this.I feel its our duty to take care of them when they need us,like our child. Because in old age people tend to go through the child stages once again but with the loads of wisdom they have gathered.Its high time we love them and not neglect .
1 person likes this
• India
15 Feb 07
I think you are right , we always end up ignoring our older relatives as we think we have nothing to talk or do with them. We should aways keep in mind that it is because of them that we are alive an we should be indebted to them for whatever they did when we were young. Locking them up in retirement is disgracful. We should definitely give more attention to youth problems and should stop being self centered.
@myjack (132)
• China
16 Feb 07
i think there's gap between the youth and the elder.they have different lifestyle,different hobbies,different ways of thinking.In my opinion it's due to the different life experiences they have.youth should respect the elders,after all,elders have more experiences of life and understand life batter.so ,if youth and elders live together,youth ought to consider what and how the elders think.and think about their suggestions .if the youth and elders could understand each other better,and reverenve each other's thoughts,their lives will be a harmony.
@Profetu (1253)
• Romania
16 Feb 07
Didn't think of life experience.Nice argument brought here.I didn't think of that and that it can prove to be a split between generations.But the thing is...respect don't comes out of life experience.I think either you have it (or learn about that from parents etc.) or you just don't.
@skb369 (285)
• India
16 Feb 07
here in india,where joint,nuclear families are the norm,instances of elderly being retired to the old age homes are pretty rare. the bond with our parents is a strong one and the respect and the love and affection one has for their elders prevent us from forcing them to spend the rest of their lives in the company of perfect strangers. i guess the closest i have come to witnessing this phenomenon of sending the aged to retirement homes is on the telly and it usually cuts a forlorn picture in my eyes. there is no way we should 'offload' our parents,who spent their entire lives raising us. in todays fast paced ever changing world,i guess people find the elderly too slow and out of place. their advice and concern becomes inwarranted intrusions in the eyes of some. its a real pity that things have come to such a head today,for such trend bodes ill for any society. if we arent capable of loving our own,then what is left there to love...
@Profetu (1253)
• Romania
16 Feb 07
I think that the problem came from more "industrialized and developed" countries.A very modern society i guess is heading more to that problem that the rest who i guess remain a little more "traditional" to some concepts and ideas.
@pSYoniK (35)
• Romania
16 Feb 07
Well the main issue is that people don't care thinking that "they are old...who cares about some old fart who didnt stay in touch with reality and now thinks that a phone is the work of the devil"....i think this is how a lot of people think about older people and i think its pretty unjust since i made the mistake of not listening to the advice my parents gave me when signing up for college and now i am paying for that, and i am paying BIG TIME for that....the main issue is that most kids nowadays think the stuff i quoted a few lines earlier but they don't realize that Good choices come with experience...experience comes with bad choices and i am pretty sure that everyone made a mistake in their lifetime and that we should do what we can to learn out of that mistake....
@Profetu (1253)
• Romania
17 Feb 07
The "who cares about.." problem i think it's because people tend to be selfish...if they gain something from somebody then tey'll react..i fnot then they'll ignore the problem untill they become one.Then fun time for them complaining and asking how did this happen to me?(inside of them they know..at least some)
@nana1944 (1367)
• United States
16 Feb 07
I am almost sixty-three years old. I worked hard for most of my life and now my body has started to betray me. Oh course I lived a rough life. I am a mother, a grandmother and a great-grandmother. There seems at times that there is only one of my grandkids that even acts like he has any respect at all for me. When they see a lack of respect like from my son-in-law a good bit of the time, then I can understand why they are that way. As long as I could and did help them out financially, it was not so bad. I helped them more than his family did. And I think that was about the worst mistake I made. I respected my grandparents and my parents a lot. And I miss all of them so much.
@Profetu (1253)
• Romania
16 Feb 07
My regards goes to you madam.I am also sorry for your situation , but in a way you get at least attention (cruel kind of way but at least it is)and you have mylot from time to time :).Best wishes and thank you for posting.
@lpetges (3037)
• United States
16 Feb 07
i think as i was younger, i didn't give old people the time of day. Now, as i grow older, i look more deeply into how they live, and how they are treated. mostly, because i fear what they go through. i am very kind to the elderly now. it just takes some growing up, and maybe having your parents growing older gives you some idea of how it feels.
@Profetu (1253)
• Romania
16 Feb 07
In general that happens when you are young not to pay attention to that sort of thing (and i'm saying that having 23...damn i guess i'm aging faster than i thought :) ).
@stibigirl (291)
• United States
16 Feb 07
I am from the United States and I don't know about anyone else, but from my personal experience I have found that the older people that I come across don't want to give advice they just want you to respect them because they are old. I have a personal example, my mother-in-law. My mother-in-law doesn't like me, she never has, basically because I will not have children, I know that sounds stupid, but that is the reason (she has no other chance for grandchildren if I don't have them). She has berated my husband in front of me, even has called him fat and stupid. I don't care what anyone says about age, there is a line that can be crossed, if you do not have respect than don't expect to get it.
@Profetu (1253)
• Romania
16 Feb 07
I wasn't talking about personal examples.I was talking about a "mentality".I'm sorry for you , you are entitled to be offended by her but i think you got my point because you said "they want to be respected" so...it's a general saying.thank you for posting.
• United States
15 Feb 07
Although I generally ignore random elderly people just because I don't know them, I never ignore my grandparents. They call once a week and I love telling them about how I'm doing in school and sports, and it cheers me up because they always have a positive response. When we get together for holidays and such, my grandpa and I will play cards while my grandma will cook some of the best food that I'll ever eat in my life. My grandpa was also in the navy during the Korean War and an in the FBI for a long time, and I love listening to his stories. If I had less interesting elders, I might ignore them, but my grandparents are very enjoyable. I see the overall picture that you are portraying here though. I guess since they are old and feeble, we tend to discount them when it comes to decision-making. It's a shame because there's a wealth of history and knowledge in that generation.
@Profetu (1253)
• Romania
15 Feb 07
Well we all do in a way...pass buy them or just don't listen to every story that they have to share even if they represent our family.But i wasn't speaking about that...that i find in a way normal.The ideea was for example : giving a seat in the bus to an elder (although some elders do abuse about that and that ain't a good thing) or helping with money (ONLY if you can)etc.etc.I have an example : I met a man who was an airplane engineer form many years (met him when i was part of the elections) and after a few years i recognoised him searching through trash.that was a very emotioning experience.
• United States
16 Feb 07
I am an indian ,now a days live in US.In our country we take care of our elder(Old).mostly our mother & father live with their son though he is married.so some time there is some thinking differances in between us bbut it does not matter.now a day it starteed retirement houses over there but people how send their perent there are very few can be countable in u r fingure.
@naren152 (47)
• India
16 Feb 07
question which you posed is true in many cases! if we go in search of reasns rewsponsible for this situation we come across many thigs! this compitetion world wont let us go back to our own lives.since evrybody got bigger goals,and got themselves involved in busier tasks noone has enough time to spend for their own personal lives and take care of the elders who had taken care of them earlier! its all in how evrybody realises money is not every thing!!
@nicky35 (751)
16 Feb 07
i know what you mean,its terrible really.i will never turn my back on my parents or grandparents because i adore them but i know alot of people who would
@valmiki (84)
• India
16 Feb 07
The primary reason could be that most of the young people like the company of young poeple. They just don't want to spend any quality tie with the elder members in ther family.
@smartpk (194)
• Pakistan
15 Feb 07
some people feel proudy or dislike oldage people but they must be well aware that next wil be out turn....