One of her classmate harassed her, should I tell the teacher/ someone ????
By apakabar2007
@apakabar2007 (1693)
Netherlands
February 15, 2007 12:09pm CST
She's 4 years old and she's excited about going to "real" school for the first time. The 2nd week in school she told me that one girl who's bigger than her didn't wanna play with her. Instead this girl started calling her small, babies, etc. I couldn't believed what I'm hearing. The next day, I went in the class, before the class begin. This girl happened to sit next to her. She seemed like a very nice and sweet girl. So, I talked to her was it true that she didn't wanna play with my daughter and why. Surprisingly, she said she didn't wanna play with her because she's brown and small and she didn't like people that has other colour than her. My mouth just wided open when I heard what she said. But calmly I said and half joke, we are brown because we sit to much in the sun but we are nice people. She just turned her back and said nothing anymore. I thought well...problem solved. Nope !!!
Before I left the school, the same day I took a peeked at the school window and saw her hitting other kid, but this kid just ignored her. The second harrasement one week after, this girl hit my daughter on the back. There was nothing I can do, because I didn't see how it happened. And my daughter didn't seemed to be upset about it. But I said to my daughter, next time, she must yelled and said "stop" to this girl or she has to go to the teacher to tell her about it.
And yesterday, was for the third times. I was really upset but I don't know what to do. I wanna tell the teacher, but this little devil can really fool the teacher with playing innocent. While my daughter didn't wanna tell the whole story and forgot about it already. Help....
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9 responses
@gharinder (2044)
• India
27 Apr 07
thats really unfortunate, but i still suggest you should indeed tell the teacher. a child's behaviour is well known by the teacher who teaches them, its difficult to fool the teacher, so dont fear that she might try to be innocent in front of the teacher, and generally the kids of the same class surely will support you and speak up of her behaviour. so dont fear about it just go ahead and complain about it to the teacher
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@apakabar2007 (1693)
• Netherlands
2 Jul 07
Thanks, I did (finally) tell the teacher about it. She said she'd have a word with that girl and she did. Now....that girl stop hiting nor saying those words to my daughter as I always kept my eyes on her. I'm glad about it and that my daughter can just play with other kids and that girl without have to be afraid that she might hit her again. But I keep telling my daughter if something not nice happen again to her that she has to tell immediately to me or the teacher....
Thank you for your lovely advice !!!
@catbvq (364)
• Philippines
27 Apr 07
By all means you should inform their teacher. You should also ask the teacher if she could transfer your daughter to another seat far from the assaultive child. The teacher should also inform her parents and suggest that they should not raise their child to be such racist.
@apakabar2007 (1693)
• Netherlands
28 Apr 07
Well, I'm glad that informed the teacher about it, it was kinda too late but better than never. And the teachers did help this time. Unfortunately, transfer her to another class is not possible (as it won't solve the problem). My daughter still sometimes sit next to this kid (but I told my daughter if she ever hit her again she must tell the teacher immediately and us). And I constantly keep my eyes on my daughter and this kid. So, I must say....it's going on a good way....because that kid stop hitting instead become friends with my daughter after the teacher and us talk with this kid (in a friendly way, of course). Hopefully, it will stay that way.
Thank you for your advice !!!!
@weemam (13372)
•
21 Mar 07
My children are grown up and 2 of them have 2 teenagers now each of their own , I would suggest you make an appointment with the head of the school and the teacher and sit down with them and voice your concerns , children usually are racist if their parents are and they have taught them this , this child has probably been doing this for some time and needs to be watched , you have a right to this meeting and you have a right to what you say to be put in writing , please stick to what you think is right for your daughter and any other child who is bullied xx
@apakabar2007 (1693)
• Netherlands
10 Apr 07
Thank you for your kind respond. I do keep my eyes on all my daughter friends now. Just to make sure that this won't happen again and that my daughter can just be friends with anyone. Glad that you supporting me !!!
@LindaLou (483)
• Canada
15 Feb 07
I would tell the teacher exactly what you heard and saw and have the teacher watch this child extra closely. I would also encourage the teacher to start promoting racial diversity to the class. This child obviously needs some positive exposure to other races/colours. I feel badly for that child. Imagine what kind of family she must come from! In the meantime, let the teacher know that you will NOT tolerate any further abuse from this child to your daughter or anyone else.
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@apakabar2007 (1693)
• Netherlands
19 Feb 07
Thank you for your advice.
Today, I told the teacher about it. At the end of the day, the teacher told me that she had a conversation with that girl. But, I can see in that teacher's eyes that she didn't quite believe my story, just as I expected - I hate when this happened !!!!
Obviously, that girl who bullied my daughter has been in that class longer than my daughter and she can really pretend like she's done nothing wrong. The teacher told my husband and I that maybe they've just played and didn't mean it. At that point, I don't see any use further discussion with her. So, we just said....as long as she didn't hit her again, at the moment is good enough for us. But I certainly will keep my eyes wide open on that nasty girl whom bullied my daughter !!! Grrrrr
@syain1972 (1011)
• Singapore
13 Mar 07
It's all about the child's upbringing. By the response of the child saying that she do not want to play with someone of different colour showed that her mind has been warped at a very young age. I think the school has to educate children about cultural diversity. It is good that you have informed the teacher about this while you are also on the lookout. It is also good that you've informed your child to inform the teacher when the next harrassment takes place.
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@apakabar2007 (1693)
• Netherlands
3 Apr 07
Thank you for your support. When my daughter in school I can't just sit next to my daughter and make sure that no one will harm her (I would though...hehehe), that's why I told her when somebody did something not nice especially violence during school (when I'm not around) to her then she has to tell the teacher. I'm glad that my daughter now come home from school with smiles on her face.
@palpalsky (899)
• United States
12 Mar 07
you should surely tell the teacher or somedody who is incharge of that class.
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@apakabar2007 (1693)
• Netherlands
14 Mar 07
Thank you for your respond. After three times, I told her teacher about this and that they will do something about it. I hope that they will really do something about it or solve it or I will.
@nvtellan (1907)
• Philippines
19 Jun 07
I would tell the teacher about this observation and advised them to be extra observant as well. Since you brought your child in their school and under their care, they should be responsible in welfare of the kids in their class. You said you saw this kid hitting other kids and my question is, what was/were the teachers doing during those times? You should also investigate what the teacher's are doing because maybe they are letting this things pass and that is not acceptable. You may even bring this issue to the school principal or administration if there is indeed sign of neglect on the part of the teacher/s.
@seamonkey (1976)
• Ireland
9 Mar 07
You really need to let the teacher know. I have been through this and regret not bringing it to the teacher's attention sooner. There are two sides t every story but what is happening to your child is just not on. I am sure the school will have a protocol to deal with the situation, and the other family. At the very least, they need to protect your daughter while she is in there care from such nastiness.
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