dreaming of Interviews
By smuggeridge
@smuggeridge (2148)
February 15, 2007 4:17pm CST
I had an interview the other day. I know what your thinking "they're going to let you out, is that safe?" well yes, yes it is but i did manage to well and truly freak myself out on the way to this interview and it is this which i wish to discuss.
I was on the train getting all nervous as i do and thinking about what the interview might be like but all that would come to my mind were those interviews they have on the apprentice (i'm not sure if its the same over there in Yankyland, but here in the UK the final task is to be interviewed by some complete and utter b*st*rds who rip into them and critcise everything about them) not what you want to be thinking about.
A little later on that journey i drifted into a sort of dream/daydream which i still remember clearly, this is how it went:
I walked into a reception and told the receptionist that i have an interview with Mr Sykes and the receptionist tells me to take a seat, he will be out in a moment. Literally a moment later a man walkes out and i stand and shake his hand.
Mr Sykes "very good you stood up when you saw me, your smartly dressed and a nice firm handshake, i like that"
me: "thanks, its nice...."
Mr sykes: "shut up i'm not finished yet"
me: "sorry"
Mr Sykes: "I however couldn't help but notice that you only made eye contact for 3.2 seconds"
me: "really, umm i umm, sorry?"
Mr Sykes: "DON'T GIVE ME THAT CRAP BOY"
me: "uuurrr, what? i umm dunno...."
Mr Sykes: "why couldn't you look me in the eye?"
me: "i can, i thought i was i think"
Mr Sykes: "WELL YOU CLEARLY CAN'T CAN YOU! AND I KNOW WHY, ITS BECAUSE YOU WERE JUST IMAGINGING ABOUT FORNICATING WITH MY DAUGHTER!!!!!"
me: "no, i... no, i don't even know your daughter"
mr Sykes: "THATS COMPLEETE LIES!! HOW DARE YOU COME IN HERE AND LIE TO ME YOU DISGUSTING, PERVERTED *&£$!" £$^&*^ %$£$^&** &^$%"$ $&&**&*^!!!!"
me: "i, no i didn't"
mr Sykes: GET OUT OF MY OFFICE, YOU WILL NEVER WORK FOR THIS COMPANY, IN FACT YOU WILL NEVER WORK FOR ANYONE, I WILL MAKE SURE OF THAT IF IT IS THE LAST THING I EVER DO!!!!!!!!!!
that was my whole dream, i hope you enjoyed reading it. Luckily the real interview was better than that. does anyone else do this thing of when they are nervous not just thinking about the worst thing that could happen, but the most ridiculous, extreme worst thing imaginable? or is it just me thats crazy?
2 people like this
3 responses
@anonymili (3138)
•
22 Feb 07
Awh bless, I don't think you're crazy, erm just slightly over-anxious to the point of almost being insane LOL! Just kidding!!! People do get very nervous when they know they have an interview coming up and the more they worry about it the more knotted up they feel inside until it displays itself in this way - imagining the worst possible scenario!
The best thing to do before going to an interview is ensure you have done enough research about the company you're going to, make sure it's a company you'd like to work for (no point attending interviews just to get so stressed out unless you really want the job). Make sure you have read the job description and have the ability to do all the things that are listed as essentials of the role. If you're a bit weak in some areas make sure you can tell them how much knowledge you have of that area and what you are doing to improve your skills - show them that you're pro-active and know certain areas are not your strengths but you're aware of them and are working on them. I'd say be confident, but that's easier said than done. People say foolish things like "Imagine the interviewer is naked if you're really nervous" - this is a bad idea, what if you imagine that and burst out laughing during the interview at the mental picture you've painted? It won't look good, they'll think you're a raving lunatic!
Try to think of each interview you attend as a learning experience, if you don't succeed think about the whole interview soon after you come out there and make notes about what you were asked and how you would give a better answer next time. Focus on the things you are good at - remember you've passed the first hurdle - getting to the actual interview stage means you've done better than many other applicants who haven't even managed that.
Hope the interview process isn't too traumatic from now on, hopefully some of the above will give you ideas on how to focus on your good points and not how crazy the interviewer may be :)
1 person likes this
@LittleMel (8742)
• Canada
22 Feb 07
I would imagine you would be given that kind of interview when you are going to date Ivanka Trump, you might even lose your hair just standing there listening to Dear Donald.
I've had killer interviews before and gave me nightmares after instead of daydream before it. No, you're just crazy.
1 person likes this
