would you forgive your husband if he cheated on you?

India
February 18, 2007 12:25pm CST
Would you forget your husbadn if he cheated on you?
4 people like this
21 responses
@essilem (286)
• Philippines
19 Feb 07
No, i will not forgive him. The reason being my husband and i already discussed this scenario and he know the effect of his action if so he pursues it. We have an agreement that if he so decides to go with another woman,the mere fact that he has decided to do it means he has also decided to end our relationship. I assured him that i will not make a scene, will not go into hysterics, make a scene, or anything that will humilliate him. I will walk away, no ifs no buts. If he is no longer happy with me then go seek his happiness elsewhere. But there is a clause, he can never come back to me, he cannot say he made a mistake, the moment he makes the decision then it has been decided. He will have to face the consequence, and that i amde clear at the very start, he will lose me and our kids. So far, we have been married for 10 years and i see no sign whatsoever that his eyes has wandered, lol, because he knows what will happen with just a night of indiscretion.
2 people like this
• India
19 Feb 07
Thats a smart thing..i did talk to my husband the same thing...that in case he ever likes anyone else or even stops liking me ,he should just tell me and i will leave without making a scene...
1 person likes this
• Australia
19 Feb 07
Now the question is "HOW MUCH DO YOU LOVE HIM?" It is not a matter of forgive and forget kinda stuff because however much you forgive somebody, you can never forget.That depends on your love and trust, you trust him to be faithful to you as the vows when you got married, and he broke that vow. So, the next question is "DOES HE STILL LOVES YOU?" and "CAN YOU ENDURE THE KNOWLEDGE THAT HE CHEATED WITH ANOTHER WHILE YOU TRUSTED HIM WITH ALL YOUR HEART" there are many basis why a man cheats, but you should also think that he is just a man and can be tempted. So it's entirely up to the two of you, as well, as the situation. I am a married woman and i love my husband. This kind of situation haven't been in my mind but i would definitely NOT want to be in this kind of situation, but i always have an open mind, i always think of what is most important, and i will always ASK him first how he feels about ME, our MARRIAGE and WHY he did, what he did. If in this case we are able to go on our lives together having to burden this kind of knowledge, or not then that will be the basis of my decision. But forgiving? There is nothing to forgive. All is fair in Love and War.
• India
19 Feb 07
I may forgive..but however much i try i will never be able to forget!We can all reason and be logical...but does logic work in case of matters of heart? I will forgive and walk out of the marriage..thats what i will do!
1 person likes this
• Australia
20 Feb 07
i'm not saying, i'm walking out of my marriage after i forgive him, its a matter of how our situation is in that particular time. you see, now we are a very loving couple, we've been married for almost 3 years now, but you never know what our marriage will be like 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, years from now, maybe he just found out that the love has gone, or something. im not saying it will happen, what i'm saying is it might happen, there are many people out there, who are divorced, separated. why? we do not know, but one time in their marriage probably they just don't connect anymore, maybe they found that same feeling now for somebody that's why they did it. so i will say i will ask him exactly how he feels, if he still loves me, and he said that it's a mistake, and i still love him and i see the remorse in his eyes, then i will give him another chance BUT that is BIG BUT for me, if he did it again and ask forgiveness again and do this all over again. well, that is a different story. Probably, say something like,"YOU CAN LOOK BUT IF YOU TOUCH AND I FOUND OUT YOU TOUCH THEN I WILL CUT YOUR.................................................................................................................................... HAPPY DAYS WITH GILLETE."
• India
20 Feb 07
;") the last bit was cool...but jokes apart..i like your approach..!
@Anakata2007 (1787)
• Canada
18 Feb 07
I would not forgive him and I woudl never forget it. I would leave him in an instant.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Feb 07
Wow, you seem very ready to answer that. Have you had a similar experience?
• Canada
19 Feb 07
yes, I was cheated on by an ex fiance. I TRIED so hard to forgive him, and I stayed with him for years afterwards. However, I was never able to trust him again, and was very unhappy and constantly compared myself to the "other woman". Finally I ended my relationship with my fiance and found happiness again. My obsession with the other woman, and my feeling of not being good enough disappeared over night and it's like I could finally see the light. It was like a weight had been lifted off me. I will NEVER go through that again. I think cheating is as bad as stealing money. I don't think trust can be regained after something so huge as cheating.
1 person likes this
• India
19 Feb 07
I think relationships are like thin glass..once marred or broken cannot be repaired..so however much we try we will never be able to trust the person again.You were quite brave to take a stand and get out of the relationship...
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Feb 07
nope, not forgiveable, and I would do a carrie underwood on him too.
1 person likes this
• India
20 Feb 07
i feel foolish to ask but wats that?
• Australia
21 Feb 07
carrie underwood is the person who cut the you know what.
• United States
19 Feb 07
Yes, I like to believe that I would. I also would like to believe that our marriage would survive that. I have an ex husband who cheated. To this day he won't admit all that he did do, however I know he did do that. Our marriage didn't survive that, though it wasn't the only thing that was wrong with our marriage. With the husband that I have now, I don't believe that he would cheat. I don't think that is who he is. However, if he did cheat, I know that I would be more than willing to go to therapy and work through the reasons for his cheating and that kind of thing to see if we would be able to make our marriage continue to work.
• India
19 Feb 07
Hey, after going through one bad experience you are willing to take another one in your stride?See if it was ok to forgive..and get on you would be still with your ex.Maybe you treasure your relationship with your currnet husband too much to let go...?
• United States
19 Feb 07
That is a very hard question to answer. It would be a very hard thing to do. I don't know if I could ever forgive him if he cheated on me. Does not matter how long we have been married and now we have been married 26 years. I don't think even if I did forgive him the marriage would never be the same there would always be that wonder if he is going to do it again.
1 person likes this
• India
19 Feb 07
Wow! Married for 26 years...!I know of a couple who is now over 60 and they are getting seperated now!After trying to be together for so many years...so we never know .I always believed before this that at that age partners totally depend on each other and know each other completely but surprise!surprise!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
19 Feb 07
yes, for me nobody is perfect, and because i love my husband so much, i think i can forgive him. if he promised not to do it again..why not?
• India
19 Feb 07
u seem to have a big heart...!
@sunny1984 (640)
• India
22 Feb 07
Never
• United States
22 Feb 07
no. Best decision I ever made.
• United States
21 Feb 07
know i can't forget my husband if he cheat me.how a husband can cheat a wife. while marriage he will promise between all the people that i will take care of my wife,and i belive my wife,and if there is any bad or good moments i can share with my wife like that he will promise between all the friends and relatives then how can wife will forget husband if he cheate a wife.wife means she has to stay with his husband only if there is a good or bad.......................
@cefaz_21 (2597)
• Philippines
21 Feb 07
I just can't imagine how hard it would be, how painful. I pray my husband wouldn't do such thing though i trust him completely I am still asking God almost daily to keep us under His protection as we all know temptations are everywhere.But when he does, I know I can still forgive,I would be hard but I'll do it anyway.
• United States
21 Feb 07
Nope, not a SHOT in hell... I've never been in the situation and hope to never ever be there. But I KNOW, i wouldn't take him back... How could I trust him again? I wouldn't care how hard he wanted to work on things, how sorry he was. I have 2 girls to raise, I don't need them to see that its ok for a man to cheat on his wife and all is forgiven, I want them to be MUCH stronger than that.
• United States
21 Feb 07
If my husband cheated on me I would like to say that I would forgive him. I may not be able to trust him or sleep with him for a while. God says that this is the only reason that you should get divorced. I would try my very best to ask God to give me the strength to keep our family together.
@mom2lttl (10)
• United States
20 Feb 07
Until you are in this type of situation, you don't really know how you will react. I have forgiven my husband, it was a long, hard road to travel to get there. The forgetting is the hardest part, not sure if that ever really happens.
@momyof2 (55)
• United States
20 Feb 07
I think even if I wanted to "forgive him", I don't think I could forget. I wouldn't be able to trust him again, and that would eventually end the marraige or at the very leat change it forever.
@777330975 (332)
• Sri Lanka
20 Feb 07
I will not be able to forgive my husband if he did something like that to me. For him to be faithfull I also have to play a big role in family life. Tolerance plays a big time role in a marriege
@bindishah (2062)
• India
20 Feb 07
It actually depends on a lot of things. i would first try to find out why he cheated on me - was it due to a fault of my own or a lack of communication or was itsomething that he just felt the need to do. I would then decide whether to forgive him or not. I would probably give him one more chance but then if he cheats again then i would split up with him.
• India
20 Feb 07
It is impossible to change human nature.Thus I would never forgive him as I cannot trust him anymore.
@sidoney (1033)
• Jamaica
19 Feb 07
for give him yes I would but I would not stay with him as although I have for given him I would not be able to forget and I would not be able to trust him Its hard when stuff like that happens I think if I'm not good enough for you to be true to then go find THE ONE cause I sure am not
• Philippines
19 Feb 07
probably, but only once.