Dorm Shower Fun (Joke)
By sunmin0123
@sunmin0123 (106)
China
February 19, 2007 8:20pm CST
There are ways to make just about any situation
fun, even going to your dorm shower...
1. Enter the stall. Shower for about 3 minutes, then scream
really loudly, exclaiming, "I didn't know I had one of THOSE!"
2. Enter the stall, fully clothed. Do not undress and
make sure your clothes get all wet and soapy. Complain when leaving the bathroom
that your shirt tends to bleed.
3. Ask Scottie to beam you up.
4. Enter the stall, undress and then re-dress up as
Superman. Leap out of the stall, vengefully vow to stop Lex Luther's evil plot,
then run full force into the wall. Stand up, shake your head, and proceed to
take your shower.
5. Bring a bottle of fake blood or ketchup into the
shower with you. Exclaim "Ow! You know, it really hurts when you pop one of
those." Then let the blood/ketchup seep down the drain for all to
see.
6. Bring in a rubber chicken. Get it all soapy, then
toss in into the next stall. Demand that the person in that stall return it to
you, or you will cast a voodoo curse on them. The next day, hang the chicken
from the bathroom lighting fixtures by a noose and stick numerous pins and forks
in it.
7. Have a seizure. Bang against the walls of the
stall really hard. Try to knock them down. If anyone later asks if you are okay,
just say that you had some Mexican Jumping Fava Beans and they were reacting
negatively with your stomach.
8. Stand in the bathroom, waiting for would-be
shower-goers. When they come in, tell them "not to do it" and ask them "not to
give in to sin." Wail mournfully when they step into the shower.
9. Initiate a war with the person in the stall next
to you. Use the residual water on the floor as your battle medium, and float
little battleships over to their side. If they kick them back or throw them over
the edge, exclaim that you didn't know they had the power of God and sheepishly
mumble prayers for the duration of your shower.
10. Bring in a fake finger. Float it down the
drainage "ditch." Ask if someone would be so kind as to return it to you. If no
one does, tell them that the finger has been sacrificed to Satan and that the
shower stalls are now possessed. Hang Halloween decorations and crepe-paper
ghosts from them the next day.
11. Bang your head against the stall wall, shouting
"Redrum! Redrum!" in your best groggy voice.
12. Bring a Yoo-Hoo chocolate milk drink to the
shower with you. Complain about a stomach ache, then moan "Ohhhh, um, uh-oh,"
and squirt the Yoo-Hoo down the drain "ditch" for all to see.
13. Before you turn the shower on, make a noise like
you are charging up a proton pack from Ghostbusters. Before you turn it off, ask
Egon to set the trap up for you.
14. Bring a balloon into the shower. Make the balloon
squeak for the duration of your bathing experience. Then pop it, and fall to the
ground as if shot.
15. Bring dead fish into the shower with you. Let
them float down the drainage "ditch", complaining angrily about the quality of
water these days.
16. Hang up the names of different farm animals in
the stalls. Have everyone entering the stalls join you in a rendition of "Old
McDonald Had A Farm," making the sound of the animal in their stall.
17. Turn the stall into a shrine for a pagan god.
Call him Weeshy. Insist that anyone who uses that stall must tithe to receive
his benevolence and glory. If they don't tithe, avoid them for the rest of your
life.
18. Take your shower like normal, and then begin
screaming that the Communists are taking over. Make battle sounds -- including
bombs, bazookas, and tanks. Towards the end, wearily declare victory. Leave
wounded.
19. Blow bubbles. Exclaim that you are
dissolving.
20. Bring in a bucket, fill it with water, and float
a bar of soap in it. Charge a fee for people to see the Wicked Witch of the West
bathing nude. Threaten anyone who laughs at you with flying monkeys.
21. Start singing Pavarotti really loud. In the
middle, stop, stutter for a second, and then exclaim "Ohmigosh...do you know
what these words REALLY mean?"
22. Suck on the faucet head until you fill up with
water. Complain that the Seven Chinese Brothers get no respect, OR pretend to be
a fountain.
23. Wet your head, and then sneak into a toilet
stall. Flush the bowl and wait a minute. Walk out of the stall lurching,
complaining about how dizzy you are.
24. Buy a bunch of those tiny animal-pills that
expand into full, spongy shapes when they get wet. Bring them into the shower
and spill them into the ditch. Ask somebody for your pills back, and when they
hand you little animals, scream, slap them, and run away.
25. Make your best Psycho noise (reeEENT
reeEENT...).
26. Try to get everyone in the other stalls to sing
in four-part harmony with you. If this actually works, change your voice part
every three measures.
27. Become a shower-pirate. Loot other stalls of
soap, Oxy pads, and Q-Tips. Bury them under the tile floor. Fire cannons at
people using toilet balls.
28. Bring scuba gear into the shower with you. Talk
to Cousteau. Upon leaving, tell everyone that the Titanic was actually torpedoed
by the Germans. Be cocky.
29. Hum for a couple of moments, stop, make an
"Mmmm!" sound, and then announce to everyone that the mildew on the shower walls
kind of tastes like head cheese.
30. Coat the floor in a fine layer of quick-drying
cement.
31. Hang "Marisa Cevasco steals Homecoming Queen
Crown" signs in all the stalls. If anyone asks who Marisa Cevasco is, call them
ignorant and ignore them for the rest of your life.
32. Bring in Sesame Street bath books. Read them
aloud. Giggle every time Bert walks in on Ernie bathing.
33. Stare at people's feet as they bathe. If they do
not wash their feet, tell them to. If this happens a second time, steal their
shoes and tell them that they left on strike. If they DO wash their feet and
fall down while doing it, laugh hysterically.
34. Stand outside the shower curtain, raise a
harpoon, and shout "I'm coming for you, Moby!" Run in and do battle with the
faucet-head. Walk out a peg leg.
35. Charge a toll for people wanting to use the
shower. If they complain, light them on fire. THEN they'll pay.
1 person likes this
2 responses
@sehgalskapil (1332)
• India
20 Feb 07
oooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,,,,,myyyyyyyyy gooooooooooodddddddd......soooooooooooooooo biiiiiiiiiiiig.
here is a small one.
A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend and was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in the Netherlands flag. "Our flag symbolizes our taxes," he said. "We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue after we pay them."
"The same with us," the American said, "only we see stars, too."
@HolyMosesMalone (415)
• United States
20 Feb 07
Haha, i love your posts i can't believe that people are not responding to them, i read this entire post and laughed teh whole time, thank you.