reconciliation

Philippines
February 19, 2007 8:24pm CST
hi! i'm just new here. just wanna know your opinions on how i'm gonna handle my situation now. here it goes: i'm a single parent. my baby is already 9 months old. my boyfriend and i broke up at the moment when i found out that i'm already one month pregnant. at first we both decided to abort the baby, but i changed my mind and told him that i don't wanna do it anymore. we got a lot of arguments and end up to a decision to broke up. he said that he's not yet ready for the responsibility. so to make the story short, since that day we don't have any form of communications at all. my parents are reaaly mad at him. they told me that he's a worthless guy. but i don't have any idea where they got the information about the abortion issue. until the time when i'm four months on the way. i got a call from him asking if we can meet personally. with the fact that i still love him, i agreed to meet him. he told me that he wants to work things out. that he's now ready to have a family. as ive said i still love him, so i accept him again. but the problem is, until now my parents still don't know about our relationship. i'm afraid what's gonna be they're reaction if they know the truth about us. because they threaten me that if i go back to that guy, i'd better pack my things but i have to leave my baby to them. i really don't know what to do and i'm scared what's gonna happen when they found out the truth about us. do you think they will understand me and accept my decision?please help me... my mother is out of the country for 3 months and she's coming back this march. i'm thinking that i'd better tell her what's going on and face the risk. what do you think i'm gonna do...? i will really appreciate your help and opinions... coz i'm really confused... thanks in advance...
1 response
Autisteek
@Autisteek (326)
• Philippines
20 Feb 07
The fact that you have decided to keep your baby when you know that no one else would want it, you are already a grown up lady. If going with that guy again is your plan I sould suggest that you check for a few thigns: 1. has he really changed? what made you think so? do you have concrete proofs asidi from "feeling so"? 2, If you go with that guy, is he going to marry you and give yo back the name he dishonored? 3. Is he capable enought to support you and your baby? Does he have a job? 4. why would your parents take your kid away from you? it is YOUR kid. They do not have the right to take your kid from you even if they can support him and you cannot. That is called manipulating. 5. If your boyfriend do not ahve a job, cannot take you in and your baby right away, I see no sense why you should go on with him.. considering that case, you would still be under your parent's wings and he does not have to share with the responsibility of raising a family. That would be unfair to you.. seeing that he gets the good and doesnt taste the hardships. 6. if your guy has REALLY changed, I do not see any reason why your parents should still hate him. Of course they will initially because of what he's done to you but later on, they will realize that you two can now make it work well together with your kid. And just make sure you do. God Bless You and your baby.
1 person likes this
mary_jane_Salazar
@mary_jane_Salazar (33)
• Philippines
20 Feb 07
hi! thanks a lot for your suggestions... those kind of questions makes me really think now. as i have observed from him, i can say that he has changed. but as you've said i need to see more proofs that he already did. on our situation right now, he wants to marry me. but not that soon. we both know that i still have responsibilities to my family. and i also noticed that he has now lots of plans in life. he has now direction in life. he knew what his goals are and he's really doing something to reach those goals. i can see that he do not only think for himself but for the sake of our future family. its not that i'm being biased but those things are what i really saw in his personality now. i hope that what you said will what my parent's reactions will be. i really love him but i also love my family.. that's why i'm being confused now. i really appreciate your effort and time in sharing your thoughts and opinions. if i can also help you in anyway, just post it here... i'm also willing to help you... thanks a lot! Take care and God Bless!
1 person likes this