History Of milk

@mssnow (9493)
United States
February 19, 2007 10:28pm CST
I had to share this, it was an excerpt taken from the wikopedia about the history of milk. I laughed my head off. History of Milk Popular milk advertisementThe origin of when, how, and who discovered milk remains largely a mystery. However, a popular theory, based on recently discovered cave paintings in Montana near the Idaho border, is that a primitive human with a mental disorder walked up to a cow, and upon seeing a large pink bag, wondered to himself, "I wonder what would happen if I squeezed that big pink thing down there...". Wrapping her hand around the cow's nipple, she gave it a gentle squeeze, then another squeeze, then a firmer squeeze, then several quick tugs in succession, and finally one big long yank, causing the white liquid (later known as "milk") to come out in several gooey spurts. The cow, not very happy about having some icky male human squeezing her private parts, promptly reared up her legs and gave him a good swift kick in the noggin, killing him instantly. A nearby tribe member, who had happened to have witnessed the violent incident from a relatively safe distance, devised a cunning plan. After giving the cow a few swigs of apple butter balm and taking the cow to a dimly-lit movie theater, he began squeezing the nipples of the now very drunk and sedate cow. Once the milk came out again, he exclaimed to himself "I say, I wonder what this weird, white liquid that just came out of this cow tastes like!". Taking a sip, he found that it had a most refreshing and delicious taste, reminiscent of roasted almonds, similar to the smell of cyanide. He died of hepatitis D the next day. Eventually, the fondling of cows' teats spread around the world, and various other animals, such as g worms, and sheep were tested using this proven method. Some of the other types of milk that were later discovered are goats and yaks. However, as with any scientific revolution, many unsuccessful experiments were tried on other animals, such as turtles, sharks, lions, and humans. None survived. Shortly after the millennium and years of speculation it was confirmed that milk is better than wood. Mainly because it can be used to make tea. “As long as it's warm and furry, I'll grab that sucker and squirt some milk into my glass! Now that's what I call good drinkin'!”
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1 response
@byfaithonly (10716)
• United States
20 Feb 07
Wow, I never knew this. I don't drink milk myself, long story but drank some that was sour years ago and haven't been able to drink a glass since. I look at a glass and gag, even when I poured it for my kids or now grandchildren I have to turn my head and watch out of the corner of my eye.
@mssnow (9493)
• United States
20 Feb 07
I love milk, but guess if i had an experience like that I would not like it either.