does living with parents make you a looser?

Pakistan
February 20, 2007 10:56am CST
i have seen it dipicted in movies like "failure to launch" and have heard this from my cousin who lives in Chicago that if a guy after crossing his teens is still living with his parents he is considered a looser? i dont see why anyone would assume that? is it true?? I live in Pakistan, and over here the norm is that you live with your parents even after you are married! i live in a house that was once owned by my grandfather, my father has practically (he has lived in India with mom for a short while) lived his whole life here! in the east we consider it a blessing that you are lucky enough to be living with your parents. I intend to do the same after i get married!
2 people like this
7 responses
@Ravenladyj (22904)
• United States
20 Feb 07
ah but that is tradition over there right? Whereas here in the U.S and Canada generally its looked down upon...I personally wouldnt have too much of an issue if my kids want to stay living with me until in their 20s but my husband doenst really agree LOL He says they have to leave when they are 17 LOL (he's just kidding of course!)
2 people like this
• Pakistan
21 Feb 07
but why is living with parents looked down upon? does it give the impression that the guy living with parents isnt capable enough to fend for himself? or is it one of those "dont ask" type of things? and what if your kids decide to stay with you even after their 20s? Anyways thank you for your thoughts! its appreciated!
• Pakistan
19 Mar 07
hey thanks for the support! thats the point i was trying to make! My folks dont have any problem with me living there and i am totally self reliant when it comes to money!
@anonymili (3138)
20 Feb 07
Well I'm Indian but raised in the UK. I lived with my parents until I got married and got my own place when I was 25. My brother moved out of my parents home when he was 33 to live with his girlfriend in his house, which had been rented out to tenants until then. He didn't have an issue with living with my parents nor did they although some of his friends used to tease him but it's quite an Indian thing to live with your folks till you get married, although he hasn't got married yet LOL!
• Pakistan
21 Feb 07
India and pakistan have lot more in common than we admit! I am glad to know that eastern traditions like sticking with your parents is still practised there! Thank you very much for your thoughts!
• United States
21 Mar 07
It seems that it isn't just a Pakistani or Indian way. Old Chinese tradition was that the wife would live with him & his parents, & brothers & unwed sisters, usually in the same house. In the US, in school, It used to be called, "Extended family" as opposed to western tradition of "nuclear family" in which the household consisted of husband, wife, & their younger children.
1 person likes this
• Pakistan
21 Feb 07
Well being a Pakistani too, I would prefer living in my parent's house even after marriage. I would want to have a big happy family that is ready to help each other out no matter what the situation is. My parent's raised me and taught the right from the wrong and when they get old, I want to be always with them and support them as much as possible. Indeed in the west it is considered bad and looked down but here it is very different.
1 person likes this
@ashar123 (2357)
• India
25 Aug 07
I have read all the people sharing their ideas. Its is only in Asia that people stay with their parents even after marriages. As the old homes are the invention of the west. The parents in west send out their kids to work and stay independently when they just turn 13.
@deliria (58)
• Philippines
27 Jul 07
Well, if you've been living with your parents when you are already such a big man.woman then you have a problem. here in the Philippines there are what we called extended families. I am personally against this kind of upbringing. It makes family members to dependent on each other and oftentimes abusive. ( I am speaking based from my own experience)
@dopey22girl (3319)
• United States
30 May 07
I wouldn't say a loser, but I think it says a lot about the person. Unless it is normal to that culture, then I think it means you are somewhat lazy because you don't want to work. I hope I'm not offending anyone, but this is just my personal outlook on the matter.