Recently moved... need friends!

@astromama (1226)
United States
February 21, 2007 1:02am CST
Ok, at the risk of sounding pathetic... How does one go about meeting new people when you don't go to bars and clubs anymore (pregnant), and it's darn cold out? I recently moved to Kansas and have yet to make any flesh and blood friends here. I left behind a great community in Austin, Texas to be nearer to my family, but as of late I find myself depressed with no on to talk to. (Mylot helps!) I've considered joining a new mom's group or something when it gets nicer out... but I guess I should wait til I actually have the baby first. Whoever heard of a pregnant woman joining a mom's group? Lol. Anyway, I'm getting desperate. I miss having companionship and it's really getting me down. Any suggestions?
3 people like this
5 responses
@mememama (3077)
• United States
22 Feb 07
I think there is a website like meetup or something, you can go to meetings of people with similar interests. You might also want to look into playgroups, the last city I lived in had a few pregnant women in them! They liked to ask questions, plus some of the women that had older children went to the hospital to see them after delivery, I couldn't because my son was too young, I was lucky enough to go to playgroups! Good luck!
1 person likes this
@astromama (1226)
• United States
22 Feb 07
That's a great idea. I guess I've felt kind of weird reaching out to moms because I'm not technically 'one of them' yet. One of my favorite activities is playing twenty questions with women who already have kids, so if they don't reject my belly and me, I'm happy to start hanging out at playgroup. Do moms with tiny babies go to playgroup, since technically babies don't play with each other yet?
@astromama (1226)
• United States
22 Feb 07
Going to La Leche is actually one of my 'assignments' for birth class, so I'll be going to my first one in a week or so... This is such a dramatic shift in my life, going from hanging out with hipsters, young feminists and the 'artsy' crowd to seeking friendship with young moms... actually, ideally I'd meet young couples that aren't as typically midwestern as most in KS. My husband needs friends, too. I stuck out like a sore thumb while growing up in Missouri, so I'm hoping to meet people with similar views, who just happen to have kids! Thanks for all the great advice... truly helpful.
@mememama (3077)
• United States
22 Feb 07
I so know what you mean about the dramatic shift! It's also hard to "fit in" with some parenting crowds, well cause of AP and natural stuff, I'm used to hearing "ewww" "that's weird" lol.
21 Feb 07
How about finding some activities that will help you in your pregnancy like a yoga class or swimming. Even something fun like art class will help you meet people I usually find the best way to meet people in a new area is to get a job, but as this isn't an option, how about some voluntary work?
1 person likes this
@astromama (1226)
• United States
21 Feb 07
good suggestions... I do have a birth class i go to once a week, but it's an hour drive from my town, so all the couples I've met there don't live anywhere nearby. As far as getting out and starting yoga or art class, which are both good ideas, up until this last week it's been icy and nasty out... Also, my husband had to sell his truck when we moved here so he takes my car to work everyday, so I'm pretty much stuck at home. It's lame. I was doing fine with all this alone time until rather recently when my hormones seemed to surge... now I feel resentful that I don't have a job, and I cry a lot more now out of frustration. I only have two more months to go till the baby comes... but what am I supposed to do until then?? Waddle out in the snow and make friends with the mailman? I've never had a hard time meeting people before, I think it's mostly circumstantial... Moving, pregnancy, unemployment apparantly equals loneliness and despair. pardon the drama, it's just that I don't have anything better to do :-) Seriously, though, I should check out more organizations in town and maybe start attending la Leche meetings or something... or see what volunteer work there is to do..
@thyst07 (2091)
• United States
21 Feb 07
Boy, do I feel you on this one. I moved from Michigan to Colorado six months ago...and I've found a boyfriend but other than that I don't have even one friend here. I don't do organized religion either, I don't go to bars (I'm not old enough to drink, and I don't really like being around people who drink a lot), and I work too much to get involved with any of my on-campus clubs or organizations. Plus, I tried to get into a sorority (before I started my job) and got rejected! I don't have much in common with most of the other students on campus. So...I'm pretty much as lost as you are. I'm going to be keeping an eye on this discussion to see what ideas others can give us. Good luck!
1 person likes this
@astromama (1226)
• United States
21 Feb 07
At least you have a job! I think if I had any contact with the outside world at all, I'd be less frustrated! I had lots of co-worker/friends in Texas and one very good, best friend. I think that may be it. I have a husband. I have a brother who lives 30 minutes away, but I don't have a girlfriend. It's hard to go through such a 'womanly' thing like pregnancy without a close girlfriend to hang out with. I wouldn't feel too bad about being rejected from the Greeks... I SO do not dig college culture! I used to spend lots of time at coffeeshops with my laptop, and after a short amount of time I made friends there. I can't drink much coffee anymore, though, so that's out of the question. I'm sorry you're in the same boat as me... it's not a fun place to be. I feel sorry for my husband, too... he's my sole confidant and friend, and i think that's too much to expect from anyone, you know? And as for you, you don't have any co-workers you consider friends? Nobody you have a class with? Good luck to you, to.. and know that we aren't pathetic, we have plenty of friends we just haven't met yet!
@Zo0mZo0m (1357)
• United States
21 Feb 07
Why not join church. Meet some church folks and interact at some of their functions. Maybe you can hold bible study at your home sometimes.
@astromama (1226)
• United States
21 Feb 07
Well, that is a good suggestion, but my husband and I do not do organized religion. .. thanks anyway!
• United States
22 Feb 07
I too was going to mention church but seen as how you don't do organized religion, I m lost! Its hard to make new friends esp you have left your really good ones behind! I am a mover the longest I have ever lived in one place was 8 yrs long enough to finish highschool! I had no close friends around during my pregnancy with my first and I totally know what your feeling! Hopefully once the baby gets here and it warms up you can get out more and get to know people! Congrats on the baby!