February 21, 2007 9:17pm CST
How does a person deal with being exploited and manipulated be a counselor. I went to a church for counseling and because there were no boundaries, we became more like friends. We shared personal secrets, I brought her gifts on special occassions, just to show appreciation. There were times I loaned her things and she would talk me in to letting her keep them. When I first started going there I did not know that therapy was only supposed to be seven to eight weeks. I did not find out until she abruptly ended therapy a year later on my birthday. Then we talked on the phone every week for a year. After she had ended therapy, she blamed me for eveything that had happened, never admitting that she had done wrong and made mistakes. Whenever I would try to get her to tell me what I had done wrong she would get mad and change the subject. When I started talking to a psychologist about everything, he suggested that the three of us sit down and talk, but when I mentioned it to her, she told me not to talk to anyone or she could get fired. Then she told me that as long as she worked there we could continue to talk. When I could no longer keep things to myself, I spoke to her supervisor and the counselor lied and denied everything. I was so upset, I was fit to be tied. I wanted to take her to court, not really for money, but for the judge to say that what she had done was wrong. But because the Bible say that Christians can not sue other Christians, I did not take legal action. One day I was talking to the secretary at the counseling center and I was telling her about what had happened. The secretary said, that is not what she said, she told me a different story. Again, I was angry beyond belief. It took me a long time to forgive, but now that I have, I am trying to smooth things over with her, because her mom is a member of my church and seeing her there makes me sick to my stomach. But whenever I call she hangs up in my face. Some people tell me that I should just go to another church, however, if I am going to church, I want to be with my family. Going to church was once a joy for me, now I go maybe once a year. I get uncomfortable in any church now, my trust level is not the same.
21 Mar 07
Hello! I believe that your experience is not that good when you ask for a counseling. Counseling is not an absolute idea of solving problems and according to your story, it shows up that you also end up to a counselor who did not know on what she is doing and she did not also know how about her role as a counselor. Probably that is the main reason why it ends up to an more accumulated crisis rather than of showing you the way of solving your problems or confusions in life. Hope you could find a more professional and true counselor or just ended up on a mistrust towards other counselors.
21 Mar 07
Going through that experience has caused me a lot of pain, but it also helped me to grow in a lot of ways. It forced me to look at myself honestly and reevaluate who I was and wanted to be. It took a long time and a lot of prayer to truly forgive, but I have finally let go of the anger. Now, if something does not seem right to me, I don't assume that I can handle it and make it a challenge. I get away as fast as I can. You can not play around with people's lives like that and you can not allowed people to mess around with yours. I come to the point where I can honestly wish her well and pray that she continues to grow in grace and the knowledge of God.