i give up just don't understand people any more!

@yanjiaren (9050)
February 22, 2007 8:48am CST
what is the world coming to man? i don't ever want to lose my good manners..sometimes when i have had nothing and i have been destitute and homeless..my good manners were the only thing i had to give me some dignity..i was in a shop yesterday and kept the door open for an elderly lady to get in..i respect my elders and try to always do my best by them..you know what she turned round and retorted at me? in that horrible patronising..getting up my nose atitude? "i'm not disabled you know"...and stomped into the shop in a huff..i was standing there..shocked and wide eyed..my hubby just looked at me..and i said to him that i refuse to give up my good manners in exchange for other people's ddamn right rudeness..what bothered me more though was that she was from the older generation..you could expect it from the youngsters but if the older ones have that kind of atitude..then what the hell do they expect the younger ones to do..some screws are definately loose.. manners mean a lot to me..more than wealth or celeb status...
11 people like this
25 responses
@peaceful (3286)
• United States
22 Feb 07
You are right to keep your Higher Altitude above the bad Attitude's of others... Your Pleasantness is a Strength and a Power and It is also your greatest Gift... When I am kind to someone and they are rude to me, their actions have revealed how they will be treated in the future... not very nicely and probably when they will need the kindness of others... It is safe to ignore a person like this, I assure you that The Fates will not... The Law Of Attraction works both ways, don't you agree? May Joy, Abundance and Peace be with you and yours always, and may Health, Love and Prosperity hop onto your lap like three very happy kittens! :)
@yanjiaren (9050)
22 Feb 07
thanks guys..i love this place..the problem is i ned up feeling sorry for these people..cos they must live really miserable existences..even if they are empowered with wealth and glory..
4 people like this
@hopefoo (1145)
• Malaysia
22 Feb 07
Haha! That's a funny story. How rude of that woman, especially after you held the door open for her, right? Seriously, older people these days, you wanna pity them sometimes..but other times, you just wanna embrace their genocide. My aunt is like that too. She doesn't like being helped. But that's just her pride talking, she refuses to acknowledge the fact that she's old.
5 people like this
@yanjiaren (9050)
22 Feb 07
yeah i get it lol..
3 people like this
@albert2412 (1782)
• United States
22 Feb 07
I often hold the door open for old people or people who have their hands full (I opened a door for a lady holding a baby in her arms). Most people just smile and say thank you to me. Being good to others is the right and Christian thing to do. There are, however, some people who are very proud and do not want to think of themselves as disabled and resent it when you do things for them. I do not meet too many of these people.
5 people like this
@elisata (569)
• Netherlands
22 Feb 07
Most people are pleased with good manners and a little courtesy! Young or old. This old lady of yours may be just the exception to the rule... the wicked stepmother, so to speak (I am a stepmother of three and consider myself a friendly one, LOL). Don't let her take away what you stand for Yanjiaren... !
@shywolf (4529)
• United States
22 Feb 07
Yanjiaren, I'm really sorry that that happened to you. Some people are just grouchy, no matter what their age or status. And some older people might resent the fact that they are getting older and they want to be able to do everything for themselves, and I can see how it might upset them realizing that they are getting to the point where they might need other people's help. Still, she should not have treated you that way, and I only hope that it doesn't put you off from helping others in the future. Helping is always a wonderful thing to do, and you shouldn't let one negative experience change the way that you feel about helping others. I really hope that you won't, but I really understand if you do. Being as sensitive and shy as I am, I know that something like that would stick with me for a long time if it had happened to me.
4 people like this
@yanjiaren (9050)
22 Feb 07
well i have had far worse..but this is just an example..
2 people like this
@34momma (13918)
• United States
22 Feb 07
You are better then that. Don't allow someone the power to change your feelings and thought by there rude actions to something nice you did. praise yourself for doing a nice thing and blessed her for not knowing better then let it go. think of something that makes you feel good and don't worry about this any more
@vanities (11351)
• Davao, Philippines
23 Feb 07
well its the way it is..dont give up..as youve said manners matters you most and its right..shes just one of the many ..people have diff. characteristics just bear that in mind..at least you have shown your kindness to her..and its pleasing to eyes especially above whose looking at you doing good deeds..cheer up my friend..
@yanjiaren (9050)
23 Feb 07
thanks guys
• United States
22 Feb 07
Don't let the bad manners other have change you. You are a rare person, you have good manners. We need more people like you!
3 people like this
@yanjiaren (9050)
22 Feb 07
thanks guys
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Feb 07
U did the right thing. May be she was not in good mood or some thing. just becos of one bad thing don't change your self. There are good and bad both people out there. Some time u meet with bad ones thats it.
3 people like this
22 Feb 07
Right I am going to be really contraversial here and say.....maybe she was having a bad day.....maybe she had just come from the doctors and had got bad news. There is alot of things that may excuse her behavior but what I really mean to say is.... please please dont give up your manners. I find too laot of people are very rude when I feel like Ive went out my way to help them. Im not asking for an award for being helpful but sometimes it would be nice not to be barged out the way and tutted at. Pensioners are a total pain in the backside sometimes and they really do get right up my nose but i worry that one day ill be like them and i wont have been aware that ive became a proper wee moan. Everytime one of them are rude just think that you'll have your opportunithy to treat someone the same when your their age and you wont think there is anything wrong with LOl.
2 people like this
@Anniedup (3652)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
23 Feb 07
Don't despair, maybe the old fart is just in a bad mood for 50 years. You just stay the wonderful person that you are.
1 person likes this
@kelly60 (4550)
• United States
23 Feb 07
Don't ever let someone else's rudeness change you. Good manners are a wonderful thing to have, and even though she didn't appreciate them, most people do. They mean a lot to me, and to many others.
1 person likes this
• Canada
23 Feb 07
Lol, most people are pleased by a little bit of courtesy shown to them by others. A smile as you hold the door open for them goes a long way, but there are a few exceptions to that rule. Sometimes, older people take offense to what they see as someone helping them just because they're old. Alrhough that's rarely the case, it can be difficult to convince them that you're just being nice. Don't give up your manners for the sake of one crabby old lady. Chances are she was just having a bad day, and many others will appreciate the courtesy and respect you show them as you hold the door for them with a smile.
1 person likes this
@MrSmitty (47)
• United States
23 Feb 07
Some people, no matter how hard you try to be nice to them, are just not receptive of good manners and intentions. Unfortunately, some people seem to always find something negative in EVERYTHING, even good manners and the best of intentions. Sad really ... but, we mustn't dwell on the negative attitudes of others, as that only drags us down with them. Keep your chin up, keep the Faith, and please don't lose your positive attitude ;^)
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Feb 07
I haven't had an elder hurt my feelings in anway, and i'm sorry that it happened to you. It's not very common for older people to be rude like that, i do agree with you that the younger generation (usually has their share of rudeness). I'm not taking that women's side or anything, i do felt that she was wrong the way she treated you. Hey, you were just trying to be helpful. Afterall, she didn't have to walk in the door, but she also didn't have to be ugly about it either. That was very rude of her. And she should of thought twice about that comment before she opened her mouth. However, you may want to stop and think about something for a minute. That woman may of been having a bad day or something. Sure, everyone is moody, and rude when they are having a bad day. But that still gives her no right to bring it out on you. I, personally wouldn't let it get to you. You seem like a very nice person, and it's not up to just one person to judge you. Even if they are older than you or not. God knows that you are trying to be respectful towards your elders, and he will praise you for that. We as humans, may not see what you are trying to do, and trying to respect others. But God does. And that's all that matters. Plus, be true to yourself. Don't worry about everyone elses response about what you try to do for them. If they don't like it, then usually it's because they are the ones with the problem.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Feb 07
I appreciate a door being held for me. Common courtesy and good manners are a must when I am around. This woman may be tired of people treating her differently because of her age, but still, a nice thank you was in order here.
1 person likes this
@greengal (4288)
• United States
23 Feb 07
Oh lord, why the hell did she have to say such a thing! That was so rude and ungrateful of her yanji, I can only imagine what you would have felt. Some people just can't appreciate such small good acts, It's beyond me to understand why they are so hateful and caught up in their own sorrows all the time. They are so angry too...sigh, it's a pity that she being so old had such a horrible attitude!
1 person likes this
@catcai (1057)
• Philippines
23 Feb 07
hi yanjiaren, maybe the old woman was in denial that she was getting that old, i meet a lot of "in-denial" oldies all the time, the ones who doesn't wanna feel that their being treated special because of their age, its not bad, they just don't wanna get the feeling like their being treated as senile or useless. Not that you were deliberately trying to make them feel that way as you were just being nice :). Ive learned that as people age, they become more sensitive, thats why people spend a lot of money in age defying creams and treatments, they dont wanna feel and look old... they just can't accept the fact that sooner or later- we all wilt and die, and its common. But it should never be a reason for you to stop being courteous, its a very rare trait nowadays, and its really nice that good manners still mean something to some people such as yourself, just be patient with the elders, they need more understanding than we could ever imagine.
@Force_Fed (748)
• United States
23 Feb 07
You'll find people like that from time to time. Just shake it off. Scrape them off you boot so to speak. Never allow the actions of others denegrate you. Manners are hard to find anymore and people with them can be a breath of fresh air. Force
1 person likes this
@wmaharper (2316)
• United States
23 Feb 07
Some people are just plain unhappy, and will always be. Had you not gotten the door, I'm sue she would have been upset about that as well. My hubby is always holding the door open for others, and not only does he rarely get a thankyou (not that he is expecting one, just would be polite you know?) but he is usually given dirty looks. I don't understand it. If someone opens the door for me, I always make a point to thank them, they went out of their way to help me. In fact, we've been teaching our son to tell them thank you as well. It's sad, some people are just rude. *sigh*