How many children for you?

United States
February 26, 2007 10:50pm CST
My husband and I are parents of two children - our daughter is 6 and our son is 18 months. They are both adopted and, in fact, my son's adoption just became final about two weeks ago. We always thought we would have three kids, but now we are really weighing the pros and cons of having three vs. two. If we adopted again, we would request another boy, even though we've always told them we would take either gender. For our home and the room we have, another boy would make the most sense. My daughter really wants a sister, but by the time another baby is placed with us, she'll probably be 8 years old and an infant sister would really not be a playmate for her, but more a competitor for her "Princess of the House" crown. So my question - how did you decide how many children was right for your family?
5 responses
@GuateMom (1411)
• Canada
27 Feb 07
My husband and I decided on two because one is a lonely number and more than two would be too much for us financially. If money wasn´t an issue, I would want four. I´ve always been against the idea of odd numbers of kids because I grew up in a family of three (which expanded unexpectedly to four when I was 12) sisters. one of us was always left out. The other two would hook up and tease and torment the third one who had no one to defend her. At least with an even number, I think they would have the opportunity to pair up and make it a fair fight!
• United States
27 Feb 07
You have a good point about the teasing. Our hope is that with a daughter 4 and a half years older than the oldest boy, that our girl would have her friends and interests and then the boys would hang together. I feel like with such an age difference between the two we have now, they're going to be on spearate planes pretty much all the time. He's not old enough to do the things she does now, and when he is finally old enough, she'll be on to completely different things.
@Ellecee (102)
• United States
27 Feb 07
We're one and done. Honestly he's all we can afford. Not to mention the health problems we've had to endure with food allergies, which would probably happen again with another one. We feel blessed with our son...of course if he had been a she, I wonder if DH would feel the same.
• United States
27 Feb 07
There are a lot of good things about having one child. It's a good ratio for sure - two parents to one child. Plus you have way less time to wait to be able to do more grown up things with your kids and if you like to travel or go anywhere at all, it is way more doable with one. I understand about the food allergies, too, and how frustrating it can be to 1. figure out the problem and then 2. avoid the problem at all costs!
• United States
27 Feb 07
I would like to have 3 or 4 kids. I have a 3 year old son and another son on the way, but ideally i would like to have at least one more, Hopefully a little girl, If not, ill be sad but allright. How do you decide? I dont know, i just felt like a family is compleate with 3 children. Maybe beacuse so many of my extended family members have 3 children?
• United States
27 Feb 07
I feel that way, too, about three kids. I come from a family of 5 and my husband has only one sister. It just seems like 3 is a good place, although I think most of my siblings think it's crazy, since two have no kids at all and one has only one and the other only two - and they're adults now, all those kids!
• United States
27 Feb 07
I only have one daughter and I willnot be having any more. I have had my tubes tied. I wouldn't be able to take care of a second child.
• United States
27 Feb 07
I think it's great when people recognize when they wouldn't be able to take care of a child, or another child, in your case. For a long time, our daughter was our only child and it was really pretty good like that, too. We were a good team.
@jammyt (2824)
• Philippines
27 Feb 07
I have an 8th month old daughter. Ideally, my husband would like to have one more in about 5 years. 2 children are enough for the high cost of living nowadays.We used to think it would be merrier if there were more than 3 but like I said, having a kid is really expensive right now.
• United States
27 Feb 07
You're right about the high cost, for sure. Your daughter is beautiful!