Why do Bad hings Happen to Good People?

United States
February 27, 2007 1:40am CST
I know this is a loaded question but my faith has been so shaken because of it. Recently my absolute WORSE nightmare came true. I've always been done SOOOO wrong by men I just wanted the right one to come along and make it all worth it. So I find the absolute love of my life, we were together for 2 years. We got pregnant and the last time I heard or seen him was when I was 6months pregnant. Our baby is now 5 months. Now if God knew something like this would absolutely crush me. And I begged God every single day and night just on my knees praying, crying, screaming, just wanting to be comforted by the best father I've ever had. But where was he? My life has gone completely downhill since that and has actually gotten worse. What's wrong w/ him? I'm a good person, I don't cuss, read my bible everyday I just don't understand. I know we attract what we think about the most, and maybe I was dreading most having a broken family of my own one day, but I didn't know that back then. So why? Why couldn't my father just help one of his baby girls out? I never needed him more than I did then and I felt completely abandoned. Can someone please help? I can't stop crying I love Him to death but I've learned my lesson and I can't be with someone (God) who doesn't love me back, I'm not going through that again.
3 people like this
9 responses
@mdarma (868)
• Singapore
27 Feb 07
Hi I read your feeling and I am truly sorrrry for you. What you are doing now is correct, by praying to the great lord. Being, a hindu, we believe that we have to pay for our KARMA. Whether it is tru or not let us leave it to the lord. You mentioned something of "Postive Mental Attitude". Sometimes back I read a book by the late Dr. Joseph Murphy (I think) titled "THE POWER OF THE SUBCONCIOUS MIND" Briefly He says that before sleeping (while in bed) and waking up in the morning(still in bed), he wants us to relax our body and mind and start thinking of one or two positive things that you want to happen in your life. ( Like a videa replay) He says that our subconcious mind which is 90% will eventually take over our 10% of concious mind. Well, paid2think try it out, you have nothing to lose but all to gain. Smile and cheers
• United States
28 Feb 07
Thanks for the book recommendations. Every since "The Secret" I'm addicted to the Laws of Attraction and hope to become an expert/coach one day. And I'll definitely try the tip you've learned from it. I believe in Karma. I especially like the part that this horrible hell he's put me through will equivalently at least come to him one day. But if I went through this Hell...doesn't that means I, ME, at one time did something wrong. And I'm not being biased but I think I'm a pretty good person! Have you ever felt that way? That you received negative Karma and can't think of what you did to deserve it?
1 person likes this
@mdarma (868)
• Singapore
28 Feb 07
Yes!! Possibly it could be a pay back time for you. Look at it positively, things could have been worse. Pray that things will turn for the better and I believe that you are blessed with a beautiful child. What can you ask for. God bless you. My email is mdarma@gmail.com Cheers
• United States
27 Feb 07
I am so sorry you are sad! I know how tough it can be when someone you love hurts you or leaves! I have had 3 bad relationships in the past 7 years, I finally found someone who I trust and love and respect is mutual. You have heard many of the theological sayings, such as "God works in mysterious ways" or "that which does not kill you only makes you stronger" or God has better things in store for you" Do not feel like a Job though. I have felt very down, If it was meant to be it will, however, that is just my philosophy. God is not punishing you!n He is helping to build your character and life experiences. Good Luck be happy with and for your baby!
• United States
28 Feb 07
Yes, I try very hard to look at it that way. I suppose I'll keep trying.
• United States
28 Feb 07
Some times it takes time to see the good in things. Please do not loose your faith over this. I got pregnant and was abandoned while I was pregnant and then he showed up in the middle of the night and started hitting me. I was very angry with GOd for letting this happen and I felt very alone. It wasnt till a year or so later that i realized that it was a blessing after all. I got the most wonderfull little boy out of it and it was very well worth going through all of that to get to have a beautiful child. You may not see what GOd has planned for you for many years but everything happens for a reason. I have now found a wonderfull man who takes care of my son as if he were his own and we are in the proscess of and adoption so he can take the last name. Keep praying and having faith, believe me you will see some day why you went through all of this and you will be thankfull. God doesnt always say yes when he answers our prayer and some times he just doesnt show his answer for a long time but he is ther with you every step of the way. Just concentrate on being a goods mother and a good Christian and good thing will come. Welcome to mylot and I hope you are able to have fun and get great advise !
• United States
9 Mar 07
Wow that is almost exactly how my life was, and is EXACTLY what I hope for it to turn out. Thanks for reassuring me that it is 100% possible for me to find a better man, the best man for me and my son, and even have him adopt him, for that is my dream. He deserves a great father whether they have even if he has completely different dna. Thanks again!
1 person likes this
@mdarma (868)
• Singapore
11 Mar 07
Believe in yourself and think positive. That is how the sub-conscious makes things work for you.. and pray had for god's blessing.
1 person likes this
• Canada
11 Mar 07
Cherish the good things he showed you or taught you. Remember the good times and forget the bad. That one persons comment is right. What did it teach you about you and life? Take that lesson and learn and grow from that. Go to councelling. Pray for a good councellor. IF you don't like the one your set up with...ask for a differnt one till your comfortable. It will help you learn and grow and survive and give your self esteem a boost. It will help you set goals and help you deal with this situation. Some councelling agentcies are religious oriented. We had a councelling place for many relgions called Interfaith and there is another one for Catholic but does deal with all types of people. Your survieving so you must be doing some thing right for your self. Keep it up and throw your heart and soul into loveing you little one. Little ones are always a blessing. Maybe the whole thing was to let you have a child you could care for. I would hope it brings joy into your life. Smiles and hugs for you.
• United States
19 Mar 07
I enjoyed your comment, thank you very much :o)
@nicolec (2673)
• United States
27 Feb 07
I am truley sorry that happened. But things do happen for a reason. You may have lost your love, but god gave you a child! I don't have any of those and wish I did. So consider yourself blessed and think pehaps it's best that man is gone. You have a child. I don't need to say anymore.
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Feb 07
Your absolutely right. I should be grateful. I didn't realize there are people out there that can't have babies, or are in horrible relationships that would love to be in a predicament such as this. Not saying you are one of those people but I do appreciate the comment it really puts things in a different perspective :o)
1 person likes this
• India
9 Mar 07
Its because they have to face many good situations in future.There should be a balance of good and bad times in life.This is the reason why good people have to face the bad times for sometime or sometimes for a long time.But this time changes in to good time within no time.
1 person likes this
• India
27 Feb 07
hi,.. i believe in equilibrium ,..ie,.. for every positive energy there should be negative energy and vice versa and also it holds good in everywhere,... thats why good things happen to bad people and vice versa... and dont forget to learn something from the bad times.... there is usually lots of things that we can learn from bad times...
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Feb 07
sorry to hear you've been going thru such a difficult time in your life. and i sincerely hope it get better for you. a crisis of faith isnt unusual, its exactly times like your having that there is a priest to speak with. go to your church, find someone there to sit down and talk with. it cant hurt..and it might help a whole lot.
1 person likes this
@rb200406 (1825)
• India
19 Mar 07
Hey, I am really sorry to hear what has happened to you & really vrey hurt to see men like this .They are just to irresponsible.I think you should be positive & look forward in your life with your baby.remember something very good is indeed store for you.Hard times are not always there.don't worry you will be happy again .I will pray for you.