how to deal with a disrespectful boss?
By dreamingmyth
@dreamingmyth (594)
United States
March 2, 2007 9:57pm CST
ok so im kind of stuck in a job i never should have accepted! anyways my boss is a friend of our family but he is deffinately taking advantage of me and oversteping boundries big time! this is the deal, i drive a route for him on fridays and saturdays. i started this job back in late november and since then have only been paid ONCE on payday (sure he has always payed me but always late)... so now even just the pay issue aside, a few weeks ago i was sick with the flu and there was no way i was able to do the route, he yelled at me for it and pretty much called me every name in the book! now this last sat the roads were horrible, i was sick and out pretty much risking my life for 35 dollars (out of which i have to pay my own taxes, gas, and wear and tear on my car). it ended up all being for nothing since once i got to the airport they refused my shipment as the connecting flights airport was closed for the day! so i ended up driving back home in tears from the traumatic experience last week.. well today the roads were even worse! i still was able to get my route done with a little help from my mom and my stepdad letting us borrow his car.. but i decided it was not wise to try to do the route again tomorrow morning, as the weather is going to be worse tomorrow and the roads are so bad that one of the counties out here even pulled all the plows off the roads because they couldnt keep up with it anymore! the other driver who does this route lives in the city where the roads arent overrun with ice and 4ft snow drifts (and no im not kidding about the 4ft snow drifts either) so i figured we could see if he could trade me tomorrow for tuesday.. since the other driver never calls me back, i decided to call my boss and ask him to call the other driver.. he asked me why, so i explained that it was not smart for me to drive in these conditions but it made sense for the other driver.. well my boss wouldnt even let me finish (and explain if needed be i had a way to do the route afterall) and started yelling at me, telling me that im an idiot driver because the roads (which mind you i was just on and he wasnt) arent that bad, and anyone who thinks they are are just plain idiot drivers.. now remember i was not kidding what so ever about the 4ft drifts IN the road, and well the ice was caked on to them about an inch or more, then add in some areas where the snow drifts are so bad u cant even see a foot in front of you.. yeah but according to my boss im just an idiot driver! anyways he yelled at me some more that he was just going to do the route tomorrow and then hung up on me!!!
how do i deal with this? i mean i cant keep working for him if he is going to keep disrespecting me and not paying me on time! but he is a friend of the family which makes it really tricky! what would you do in my situation?
3 people like this
14 responses
@whimsystoryteller (1743)
• United States
3 Mar 07
This man is no friend and you should quit immediately and find a job with a company that pays you on time and doesn't treat you like their slave. I'd also suggest calling the Labor Board and reporting him for his behavior. That is inexcusable and if your family can't stand with you, then you shouldn't worry about what they think either. Have you told your family how he's treating you? I wouldn't think they would be willing to let it go on. Especially your father. However, regardless of your family's stand, you should get out of that job or set your foot down and tell him that either things change or you're quitting. Do it as nicely as possible but don't stay in the situation as it is.
1 person likes this
@dreamingmyth (594)
• United States
4 Mar 07
its actually 70 dollars for both days (35 for each) so i do make at least a little bit of money, however once i break it all down, between time spent, gas money, taxes, wear and tear on my car im making well below minimum wage which irks me to no end but i really needed the income when i took the job (and didnt really want to take it because of what is happening right now). my parents agree that i should quit (though i need to find extra income elsewhere first). ive been very proud of my mom with this whole situation! last weekend when i had that break down i called her and she assured me that i was not going to have to drive back up there the following day like my boss wanted me to, then my stepdad called my boss and told him he needed to take the shipment back up there. so they are backing me up and standing up for me (my stepdad called my boss last night and told him that he had totally over reacted when he talked to me on the phone). im working on being able to quit!
thanks much for your comment :)
1 person likes this
@whimsystoryteller (1743)
• United States
3 Mar 07
One more thing. If you are paying for gas, etc. and you're only making $35 for the weekend, you aren't making enough to cover your expenses and that's absurd!
1 person likes this
@p3halliwel2005 (3156)
• Philippines
4 Mar 07
Your boss is way out of the line there...If I were you I won't deal with this by staying..I'll leave and give him a piece of his mind when I do.. I'll tell him how disrespectful, rude, evil and a son of a 3!tch he is..I will tell him he has no right to treat me this way because he is not the one feeding you and you are getting paid because you're working hard for it.Don't let him do this to you..It is wrong.. Please get out now..If I was there I'll give him a punch in the nose for you...:P
@dreamingmyth (594)
• United States
4 Mar 07
aww thanks! im working on getting out of this job, but really cant until i have my finances in order to do so! my business is still fairly new and where i bring in most of my money from it, its only minimal so extra income is essential (unless the ex would actually start paying his child support like he is suposed to!)
i should be able to get out before the month is over though (or at least thats what im shooting for)
and again thanks much! HUGS
1 person likes this
@rainbow (6761)
•
3 Mar 07
The problem may be that he is a friend ofthe family and is afraid of showing you any favouritism. However he know you have a young child and his common sense should tell him tat employers cannot treat anyone wlike this. Have you asked the person he is the friend of to talk to him about how you feel or mentioned it yourself?
I would have him reminded that tere are rules about treatingpeople badly and yelling at them and you would be prepared to take action.
Persoally I would tell him where to stick his job or give him sucha mouthful that he fired me, is it really worth the little bit of cash you clear after expenses and time away from your little man?
Good luck sorting this out so you are happy sweety!
1 person likes this
@ShadyGrove (996)
• United States
3 Mar 07
Friend of the family or not, this is totally unexceptable behavior.
If you can afford to not do this job anymore I would tell him that the job is causing too much stress in your life and that you are sorry, but you need to quit. If he yells at you, just walk away. You are perfectly right in telling him that you will not listen or talk to him until he can contain himself and act like an adult - that you will not be yelled at or disrespected.
Letting him yell at you and call you names only lets him get away with this behavior and do it even more. Stop it now before it gets worse.
If you can't quit - tell him you will not be talked to this way. Hang up on him. Tell him you will not talk to him until he can be decent to you and that you will not be able to work for him until he acts appropriately.
Good luck with this!
1 person likes this
@dreamingmyth (594)
• United States
4 Mar 07
i have recently been working on other ways to make some money from my home and if it all works out like i think it will i wont need that route anymore. i did plan on telling him that it was just causing too much stress in my life and thats why i needed to quit, but even then i dont see it going over too well. its difficult dealing with him, as he only ever sees his perspective anymore, and good gods dont even try to get him stirred up because he will follow you to argue! i knew not to take this job to begin with, but i desperately needed the money.
1 person likes this
@ellijah (244)
• Nigeria
3 Mar 07
hello.first of all u should know that u are not working for your box but God .u should try to behave in other polight way so that when he sees that changes in u he will ne surprise and stop what ever bad thing he is doing to u.i want u to also ve praying for him.some one might be using him to deal with u .if u cant beara is character any more and if see another job just leave him and grab the new one
1 person likes this
@newbiehere (27)
• Canada
4 Mar 07
You sound just like me! to concerned for every body else! you did the right thing! on the employers side he needs the task fulfilled because he has to answer to some one else if it is'nt fulfilled. I under stand both sides. You need to care for your safety! he needs to fullfill his obligation. Tell him to drive! as for your pay and crap you put up with do you not have labor relations there? can you get a better job? he is not going to change so think of transfering to a better job.
@dreamingmyth (594)
• United States
4 Mar 07
yes im very concerned about others being stuck in a bad situation they dont deserve to be in! my parents understand that what my boss is doing is beyond wrong, and they wouldnt hold it against me at all if i quit that job, but i still worry because i know how they all act and react in these kinds of situations! my boss is the owner of the company so he doesnt really have anyone to answer to besides the company he has the contract from, however he is more then capable of doing the route if i can not, so there really isnt an issue there other then the fact that my boss just doesnt want to work! technicaly i could call the board of labor on my boss for not paying me on time ect, but i dont want to do that... it would cause more problems that im not willing to deal with, the other employees at least are getting paid. im currently working on being able to bring in some extra money so im just hoping it all works out for the best!
thanks much for your comment :)
1 person likes this
@rogue13xmen13 (14403)
• United States
4 Mar 07
I have a disrepectful co-worker who thinks she is the boss and everyone is ready to put their fist in her face.
@dnatureofdtrain (5273)
• Janesville, Wisconsin
4 Mar 07
Oh.. man...
You're boss needs a reality check.
I too am from Wisconsin, and that Blizzard formed a Funnel cloud out of snow, that spit golf ball sized snow balls. They had piles ups so bad the police could not get wreckers out to the highways... 6 people went into the ditch on our road out in Whitewater, Wisconsin...
And we had a 20 foot snow drift on our road 40 foot on the next road. No one, should have been on the roads that night. It was a pure white out. a Blizzard on top of rain... Then rain again, and another amount of snow.
If I were you. I'd be hunting for another job...
and Quit... You do not want to work for a boss who is earning money off your work, if they do not care about their employers safety, and maybe the day you quit, you may want to tell all of your coworkers your reasons, because chances are.. if he has done this to you. He has done it to another.... and if it turns out to have happened to alot, a good boycott would work.. among the previous workers family and friends. Until people hold their employers to also look out for their safety and best interest... yes they were losing service.. But Most of the State of wisconsin was under a Snow emergency! ... So there is no excuse for employers to behave that way... and I agree with what others said... That is not a true friend, if they want you to risk your life to go to work, and with that weather. I road out on the roads with my parents to see for myself. There was piles up of trucks, and cars. Today there was still cars that had flipped off the highways upside down... althought roads were better, all left over from Last Fri, Sat, and Sundays mess.
Please becareful, and I hope things in the end no matter what you decide to do work out for the better.
- DNatureofDTrain
1 person likes this
@TerryZ (22076)
• United States
3 Mar 07
If you having a problem with your job and youve done everything possible to make things better and it hasnt worked its time to tell them you must leave and find another job. Good luck
@paradisesuns (1755)
• United States
4 Mar 07
Why don't you just quit and find another job.No need to take bs of anyone.
1 person likes this
@Anniedup (3651)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
4 Mar 07
THE @@@***&&&& horrible man, can't you get him to read this on MyLot!!! All I can say is GET OUT !!! Abuse is an understatement here, I don't know your circumstances,and it is sometimes easy for people to say what I just said, but you are degrading yourself, each time you speak to this creature, you don't deserve this and I can't see that your family will blame you, if you just send him to the hottest place imaginable. GET OUT!
@mywords18 (645)
• United States
3 Mar 07
u knw wat simply avoid him and make urself capable of finding another job rem. self respect is the biggest treasure dont lose it for such petty things. buck up !!!
@dreamingmyth (594)
• United States
4 Mar 07
our right! self respect is a big thing! i am currently looking into some things which should more then make up for the lost income of the route so i can quit it!
thanks much for your coment :)
@ashwinthegrim (1)
• India
3 Mar 07
i understand your predicament...it's a really tricky situation, but in cases where your self-respect is at stake, you really have to draw the line...make it clear that you're not to be trifled with...just because he pays you doesn't mean he can play with your emotions and feelings...be polite but firm...tell him clearly that he is crossing his limits as a boss...since he is a family friend, you can hope that he'd understand, he's probably been doing it without knowing it has affected you to this extent...and if he still continues, put it on his face that you cannot be manipulated this way...
