Ever wish your family would've given you up for adoption?

March 3, 2007 3:17pm CST
Has this thought ever crossed your mind that you wished your family had given you up at birth, then have so many years of heartache and torment by them. I mean growing up, my dad was there, but he wasn't there. Sure he was there when my mom needed money, or when they wanted to drink together. And yeah most of the time we did see him every other weekend, until that stopped due to various reasons (jail time, etc...) but yeah. I mean they did try however they could. But were distant in so many ways. I mean my mother only seemed to be there when we were getting into crap about something, or she wanted to gossip or be very judgmental. And yes growing up she did try to fix her mistakes by loaning me small amounts of money, or letting us move in with her (which backfired so many times because she tossed it in my face later on). I was spanked, I was hit. My mother thought she did no wrong because she never left a mark. So being removed from her care was not an option. So we had (more like I had to) suffer with the way she was. She didn't stop hitting me until I laughed in her face and I told her it didn't hurt anymore. But growing up, she always thought by buying what she could (which wasn't much) and having her buddies up and drinking with her, this was supposed to bypass how she treated us. Even now, thinking about how my life was, I have doubts. I wish my mother and father had given me up for adoption. This way I might have had a better life. Who knows. I know we can't control who are parents are, but maybe this would have made me into a different person than I am now. I know growing up, I never EVER wanted to be like them. I never wanted to be distant to my kids, heck I never originally wanted to have kids until I ended up pregnant at a young age. Did they help me with that? With some material possesions sure. But my mother wanted me to sign over custody of my son to her, so she could collect more on her welfare check. And when I denied that, and moved out, I was always labelled the black sheep. Because I am the one who said no. Not one other kid in my family has ever stood up and said no. I always wished growing up that my parents would have been different. You know, loving but there. Loyal but not mental. You know what I mean? Have you felt this way about your parents? Have you ever wished they would have just given you up?
1 person likes this
No responses