Breaking up, is it hard to do?

Canada
March 3, 2007 10:00pm CST
Well the short answer is yes. But the long answer is still yes. When he asks for a divorce and you wait it out hoping that things will change it doesnt , well not in my book it didnt. We just went back and forth with fights arguments and such. But then he knows your waiting and uses it against you. I started to cook more for him , his favorite foods made new dishes and baked at least once a week, from scratch i might add. Tried new things if you know what I mean? well he still has to have things his own way, hes never wrong. So i am done with being used. I was in abusing relationships in the past but now looking back this is worse would rather the hit, the physycal pain goes away but the mental never does does it? I gave up so much and have nothing to show for it am farther in the hole now than b4, so back to being single. Was lonely but think was better had only myself to rely on and no one to blame for anything but myself. How do you deal with rejection, pain, lonlyness?
2 people like this
3 responses
@simran1430 (1793)
• India
5 Mar 07
If you are ready for divorce you will have let go of any emotional attachments you have to your spouse. These are good feelings and negative feelings that often come into play during marital conflict. Deciding on divorce at a time when you are overwhelmed with emotions won't solve problems. It generates problems and compounds any hurt and frustration you may be feeling.
• Canada
5 Mar 07
I know not to make the choice when im upset buti have known for months its the only thing to do, but keep hoping when i know there is no hope. I thank you for your comment and thoughts.
@Erinlpx (179)
• United States
5 Mar 07
Divorce isn't easy - it never is. Neither is marriage, so it makes sense that there isn't an "easy opt-out" system when it comes to terminating a legal union like this. It is hard, and it's also emotionally draining to be trapped in a relationship that is going nowhere fast. That is what happened to me. I met my ex-husband, moved from Australia to the US to be with him, we got married - and a couple of years later, nothing really made sense anymore. We couldn't stop fighting, and the fights were always the same, circular arguments that were never resolved - just stored away for a future recurrence. I really don't think that we even really knew each other, because our outlooks on life were just so different, and often we had nothing to say to each other - especially when we couldn't decide how to spend our future. The inevitable happened, we determined to split and we did, and honestly - it was the best thing for us. He is now much happier, with all the time in the world to devote to his bands, with people who can support him for doing what he loves where I failed to. I'm much happier (I'm actually remarrying on St Patrick's Day). No one ever goes into a marriage expecting divorce - but sometimes it happens. Sometimes there are issues there that are too deep for resolution, and you just have to accept the fact that you have grown apart, are different people than who you were when you met and these are natural progressions through life. People change - nobody stays the same forever - so how can your relationships?
• Canada
6 Mar 07
thank you for your frankness about your divorce and I know it will be hard, its not my 1st one but its still very hard. i also moved from home to be with him and now i am here with not much support.
@lonewolfnan (4367)
• Canada
8 Mar 07
In today's society,it is hard to find a balance between happiness and lonliness.Some people remove themselves from society and escaping today's reality by entering their own little world or retreating from civilization.It works for some,but for others it creates greater problems. The only person you have to really live with is you.If that person is not happy,then anything happening will not make you happy.Nobody deserves abuse of any type.This should not be tolerated, but the only person who can change that is you.I hope you have the strength and support to make the decisions that are the healthiest for you.
• Canada
23 Mar 07
Well the divorce will go ahead I will be starting the procedings, not an easy thing to do but must be done for my own sanity. So That might lead to another discussion the way it goes, such as filing myself and the ease or not of the system to do it.
@ju_lai18 (52)
• Philippines
6 Mar 07
yes, especially when you really love your partner then suddenly he breaks up with you..that really hurts you know..
• Canada
8 Mar 07
yes it does when the 1st himt of it was lest then 6 weeks after marrige, not like i thought i didnt know him, had known him for 5 year.