Funny Cat Story......

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"THE CAT" You don't have to own a cat to appreciate this one (Lying just doesn't pay!) We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Year's Eve party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the back yard. We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house. The cat we put out in the yard, scoots back into the house. We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird. My wife goes out to the taxi while I went inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night. So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother." A few minutes later, I get into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," I said as we drove away. "That stupid b---h was hiding under the bed. Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed by the neck. Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat a-- downstairs and threw her back into the yard!" .......The cab driver hit a parked car.